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4

406blue

Specialist
Sep 7, 2018
379
What about at least doing something compassionate/constructive before we go that helps others. I'm interested in karma or just passing on something positive if you like. When we are lost it's not easy to organise such things or even care about it. Even if we have lost all meaning for ourselves, it might be possible to achieve something for someone else or an idea that is close to us and in the end have some meaning. It might be an ego thing in the end but even if so, it's better to do some good if one has the capacity. Why not.
 
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ParamitePie

ParamitePie

Experienced
Oct 11, 2018
218
I've slowly been donating away my savings to select charities and did volunteer work for several years with disadvantaged youths and people with disabilities. Can't see what else I can do with the limited time I have left.
 
4

406blue

Specialist
Sep 7, 2018
379
I've slowly been donating away my savings to select charities and did volunteer work for several years with disadvantaged youths and people with disabilities. Can't see what else I can do with the limited time I have left.
That's exactly what i mean. Giving away money you have or possessions. I gave my guitar to some stranger the other day who showed me he could play. But the look on his face made me want to stay alive for another few days, you can't have it both ways. But i think you do well.
 
Circles

Circles

There's a difference between existing and living.
Sep 3, 2018
1,728
What about at least doing something compassionate/constructive before we go that helps others. I'm interested in karma or just passing on something positive if you like. When we are lost it's not easy to organise such things or even care about it. Even if we have lost all meaning for ourselves, it might be possible to achieve something for someone else or an idea that is close to us and in the end have some meaning. It might be an ego thing in the end but even if so, it's better to do some good if one has the capacity. Why not.
I somewhat agree but being the pessimistic-apathetic guy that I am I just don't see the point. Lifers like to spout as advice 'Why don't you try volunteering?' Well for one it's depressing as fuck knowing full well that your contribution won't do a damn thing in the grand scheme. Sure their belly is full (for now). Sure they may have a roof over their head (for now). And sure they may be happy or more likely content for a tiny brief moment (for now). But that doesn't change the fact that this world and the human system won't do a damn thing to actually helping people to not only survive but to thrive. Suffering is the default setting for humans and that's something that'll never go away so no matter how hard you try it's all in vain. Plus as soon as you die it won't matter anyway. Also why should I help others when I can't even help myself? Sure I'll be a nice human being. hell I'll even give them some money but I'm just as broke as them. If anyone 'should' be helping the poor it's the rich who created this mess like Jeff Bezos. Like wtf is he going to do with all that money?
 
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ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
this is one the reason why i hate myself … i am so weak … i cant do anything ...i see people suffering and do nothing … and this makes me suffer even more …

kinda narcissistic if you think about it
 
SamK

SamK

Cloud Surfing
Aug 21, 2018
280
I've given everything to others, all my life. Blood sweat and tears for others. I think my final act of CTB is the best thing I could ever do to (and for) myself. I do and will die in peace knowing i gave *everything* I had to everyone I could've. It brought me peace knowing I did a little good. Even if it's just buying a homeless person a blanket. Something little.
 
ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
How is it narcissistic for not knowing how to help others let alone helping yourself? And what's particularly wrong with being a narc? Some people just can't help it.

its narcissistic bc in the end its always about „me me me me me me me me me“


you can be as narcissistic as you want but dont be suprised if you are all alone in the end


im not saying im different myself - i spend most of my time feeling sorry for myself, complaining, occupied with my own problems which makes/made me blind for my surrounding and the needs of others.

its already too late for me to change but in the end this selfoccupation wont make you happy. your aim should always be to give more than you take. and if you spend the whole day feeling sorry for yourself you are not able to give anything.
 
ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
i dont understand … how can i be narcissistic if i hate myself ? ...other people's suffering affects me … id love to be helpful, but i cant .. it's not that i make everything about me … i dont understan what u mean ...


one example:


you are a mother. instead of carying for your kid you spend the whole day feeling sorry for yourself.

what does this make you?
 
throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
its narcissistic bc in the end its always about „me me me me me me me me me“


you can be as narcissistic as you want but dont be suprised if you are all alone in the end


im not saying im different myself - i spend most of my time feeling sorry for myself, complaining, occupied with my own problems which makes/made me blind for my surrounding and the needs of others.

its already too late for me to change but in the end this selfoccupation wont make you happy. your aim should always be to give more than you take. and if you spend the whole day feeling sorry for yourself you are not able to give anything.
but i am not feeling sorry for myself … i hate myself for not doing more… i want to ctb because i hate myself ...i cant really see nothing nacissistic about it … i still dont understand ...idk i think you are exagerrating with that term
 
throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
one example:


you are a mother. instead of carying for your kid you spend the whole day feeling sorry for yourself.

what does this make you?
surely not narcissistic because if i were, i woudnt feel that what i am doing as a mother for my child is not enought … i would think about myself and not about how my child needs me and i am doing nothing for him .. i dk ..you are simplifying it … we cant look at the actions or non actions without looking at what is behind them ..sorry for my english hope you understand what i mean
 
AveryConure

AveryConure

Some idiot
May 11, 2018
438
If I decide to live around December (and apparently I just got a job prospect right when I planned to ctb cause it always seems to work that way) if i'm somehow still not working i'm going to volunteer a lot. Again, it won't solve everyone's problems but before I eventually go I'd rather attempt to make other ppl's lives not complete shit.
 
Circles

Circles

There's a difference between existing and living.
Sep 3, 2018
1,728
its narcissistic bc in the end its always about „me me me me me me me me me“


you can be as narcissistic as you want but dont be suprised if you are all alone in the end


im not saying im different myself - i spend most of my time feeling sorry for myself, complaining, occupied with my own problems which makes/made me blind for my surrounding and the needs of others.

its already too late for me to change but in the end this selfoccupation wont make you happy. your aim should always be to give more than you take. and if you spend the whole day feeling sorry for yourself you are not able to give anything.

I don't get how any of that is narcissistic or even beneficial. Plus you can do everything right like helping others and still end up alone in the end or suicidal. Why is it the aim to put other peoples problems onto yourself instead of focusing on your own life? Why are their priorities first in line?What do you give when have have close to nothing in return? How does the needs of others outweigh mine just because they outnumber me? And how is helping people helping yourself just because you felt good about helping? It's all a subjective discrepancy.
 
ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
I don't get how any of that is narcissistic or even beneficial. Plus you can do everything right like helping others and still end up alone in the end or suicidal. Why is it the aim to put other peoples problems onto yourself instead of focusing on your own life? Why are their priorities first in line?What do you give when have have close to nothing in return? How does the needs of others outweigh mine just because they outnumber me? And how is helping people helping yourself just because you felt good about helping? It's all a subjective discrepancy.


if you have any idea about human behavior you will know that helping others is an investment and that people will pay you back 100x times

its deep in our dna and can even watched at monkeys. people who share and care for others (or at least pretend) have more friends, fuck more, are more happy and overall more succesful.

even people who sell stuff use this kind of psychology. and psychopath display it at least.

and its pretty much common knowledge amongst people...
 
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ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
surely not narcissistic because if i were, i woudnt feel that what i am doing as a mother for my child is not enought … i would think about myself and not about how my child needs me and i am doing nothing for him .. i dk ..you are simplifying it … we cant look at the actions or non actions without looking at what is behind them ..sorry for my english hope you understand what i mean


at some point you have to take responsibility

if a mother spends her time feeling sorry for herself instead of caring for her child she is indeed a failure
 
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Circles

Circles

There's a difference between existing and living.
Sep 3, 2018
1,728
if you have any idea about human behavior you will know that helping others is an investment and that people will pay you back 100x times

its deep in our dna

even people who sell stuff use this kind of psychology. and psychopath display it at least.

and its pretty much common knowledge amongst people...
Well that's your belief and I respect that. Atleast you still have your humanistic empathy. I lost mine long ago helping the same people you think should be helped. And there's no guarantee that you'll be payed back in the same kindness. Helping others only gets you so far. I take it you somewhat believe in karma, what goes around comes around so to speak? Yea well I don't. You make it sound like there's a contract between people to be nice when that's far from the truth.
 
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Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Super duper enlightened
Sep 9, 2018
1,707
I think some degree of narcissism is to be expected when you've been kicked in the balls by life as often as many of us have. It's understandable to find yourself in a state of concentrated self-absorption when self-preservation starts kicking in after one too many knocks. Some may argue that it's a choice to give in to that, but I don't feel like we can necessarily determine our own personal breaking points.

The altruism thing is a great idea though. I like the idea of trying to surround yourself with as much positive energy as possible, especially in the face of a possible ctb. I wouldn't want to transition in a state of misery or anger if at all possible.
 
Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
if you have any idea about human behavior you will know that helping others is an investment and that people will pay you back 100x times

its deep in our dna and can even watched at monkeys. people who share and care for others (or at least pretend) have more friends, fuck more, are more happy and overall more succesful.

even people who sell stuff use this kind of psychology. and psychopath display it at least.

and its pretty much common knowledge amongst people...

I have volunteered every week for nearly 3 years, put in well over 300 hours, and still am depressed and want to ctb.
 
Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
but i am not feeling sorry for myself … i hate myself for not doing more… i want to ctb because i hate myself ...i cant really see nothing nacissistic about it … i still dont understand ...idk i think you are exagerrating with that term

Yeah it always seemed weird when people equate hating yourself with self pity. I don't feel sorry for people I hate... so why would I feel sorry for myself if I hate myself? It doesn't make sense.
 
Dog Food

Dog Food

POS
Mar 27, 2018
143
I don't see the point of volunteering when most places already have enough people, and I'd do a terrible job. I'm also too tired and too anxious to take up a loud, bustling extra job. I will however, leave my stuff to my family and a portion of my money to Oxfam or some other charity.
 
ctoan

ctoan

Arcanist
Sep 30, 2018
437
Well that's your belief and I respect that. Atleast you still have your humanistic empathy. I lost mine long ago helping the same people you think should be helped. And there's no guarantee that you'll be payed back in the same kindness. Helping others only gets you so far. I take it you somewhat believe in karma, what goes around comes around so to speak? Yea well I don't. You make it sound like there's a contract between people to be nice when that's far from the truth.


no i dont believe in karma

but the first step to popularity is to give more than to take.


even many succesful psychopath do this (at least at the beginning) to gain the trust and respect of others.

if you smile honestly at people they will smile back in most of the cases (at least if youre not ugly as the sin)


in general people aint bad. if you help them, give them presents, attention they will feel the urge/obligation to „pay“ you back. its deep in our dna. humans are social beings. our ancestors wouldnt have survived if they all would have been bitter, weird loners or straight assholes and psychopaths.

helping others is often a great feeling too. can give you purpose, the feeling to be needed and eventual happines.

and i would put it that way: giving more than taking is no garantue for a happy life but always taking more than you give is a garantuee for an eventually unhappy life

the worst thing you can do after getting treated badly is to become bitter, self absorbed and tryhard egoistical. taking yourself the chance away to shine for yourself and others
 
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