trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
61
Ok this isn't like a massive problem of mine it's just incredibly annoying that people take more than 6 hours to respond to my messages, when I know some of them don't do shit all day. (and respond to other people too, they do not have an excuse)

I always tell some bullshit to myself like "oh I don't need anyone, people cause problems" but I do, since Im an attention whore.

And the slightest bit of acknowledgement from anyone makes my brain go a little wonky.

-

Plus, I broke contact with my best friend since I could not stand him anymore (very bad anger issues, would get irritated at anything I did wrong). I miss his company, not so much him though.
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
730
Feeling ignored is awful. I can understand if someone is busy or tired or forgets or doesn't notice the messages, but if someone has no problem every time instantly messaging to everyone else except for you, that sucks.

Usually if you weren't given attention in your childhood you need it much more in adulthood. Or the other way, if you had really great parents who paid lots of attention to you, but they die or something, it's horrible to suddenly be without any attention.

I don't like much attention myself because attention often means stress and trouble, but when I do, it's because I didn't really have any real parents or friends in childhood and I've always been ignored.

I'm always the kind of person who says "I don't need anyone, I hate humans, I wanna be alone forever" yet when my friend visits me I suddenly feel really good and I'm like "How is this possible? How is it possible to feel this good when I hate humans?".

Sorry your friendship broke. I know the "miss the company, not the person" feeling. I broke contact with my ex-friend half a year ago. I miss talking about hobbies and drawing together, but I don't miss the way he treated me whenever the topic would move from hobbies to humans. I hope we both can find better friends!
 
T

timf

Mage
Mar 26, 2020
559
As the world becomes increasingly hostile, being ignored could be an advantage.

It might be possible to switch from seeking attention quantity to attention quality.
 
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trianglesplayhouse

trianglesplayhouse

Member
Nov 14, 2021
61
Usually if you weren't given attention in your childhood you need it much more in adulthood. Or the other way, if you had really great parents who paid lots of attention to you, but they die or something, it's horrible to suddenly be without any attention.
To be fair, I did have a decent childhood and my parents did all they could. I was alone a lot of the time though since they were both at work for very long. But that's what happens when you're poor in a big city.
I'm always the kind of person who says "I don't need anyone, I hate humans, I wanna be alone forever" yet when my friend visits me I suddenly feel really good and I'm like "How is this possible? How is it possible to feel this good when I hate humans?".
Yeah it seems a lot of people think this way too. It's wired into our biology to be social, and although not everyone needs it for a variety of reasons, most do. And I very much likey talking about stuff.
Sorry your friendship broke. I know the "miss the company, not the person" feeling. I broke contact with my ex-friend half a year ago. I miss talking about hobbies and drawing together, but I don't miss the way he treated me whenever the topic would move from hobbies to humans. I hope we both can find better friends!
Sorry yours did too. It happens. I do not like it happening, however it's not worth the effort to be with someone who has changed too differently compared to you. Even if you didn't break contact, it would have been extremely toxic or would have faded out over time anyway.

Also I appreciate the long reply and the effort it took to write that, thanks.
As the world becomes increasingly hostile, being ignored could be an advantage.

It might be possible to switch from seeking attention quantity to attention quality.
I'd rather receive attention from a lot of people than one person who cares about me. Why? Because it's the same to me, I assume neither give a shit.

(but I get barely any attention so I kinda like any, or maybe I need more than the average person)

Blah blah I struggle with vulnerability or whatever and no I'm not going to work on that since it breaks my little facade of me being really cool and mysterious and if my facade is broken I go craazzzyy wooo
 
Last edited:
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
730
To be fair, I did have a decent childhood and my parents did all they could. I was alone a lot of the time though since they were both at work for very long. But that's what happens when you're poor in a big city.

Yeah it seems a lot of people think this way too. It's wired into our biology to be social, and although not everyone needs it for a variety of reasons, most do. And I very much likey talking about stuff.

Sorry yours did too. It happens. I do not like it happening, however it's not worth the effort to be with someone who has changed too differently compared to you. Even if you didn't break contact, it would have been extremely toxic or would have faded out over time anyway.

Also I appreciate the long reply and the effort it took to write that, thanks.

I'd rather receive attention from a lot of people than one person who cares about me. Why? Because it's the same to me, I assume neither give a shit.

(but I get barely any attention so I kinda like any, or maybe I need more than the average person)

Blah blah I struggle with vulnerability or whatever and no I'm not going to work on that since it breaks my little facade of me being really cool and mysterious and if my facade is broken I go craazzzyy wooo
It sucks how people can work a lot and still be poor. I read that one couple who were lawyers and rarely home bought a dog to keep company to their child, so the child wouldn't be lonely, but of course being with a dog and being with a human is different.

I wish I wouldn't need to be social, because it feels impossible to find good people to hang out with. I mean, I have made friends with lots of good people on the Internet (though the friendships always end because I'm too stressed to keep talking), but irl it's so hard. On the Internet I can go to lots of places, post "I'm lonely and don't have any friends. Would someone like to be friends with me? We could talk about anime and games." and meet lots of people who are willing to hang out with me, but irl there's no place where you can go to meet new friends. And on the Internet you can say "I have asperger and I'm jobless and depressed and I hate my parents" and still meet lots of people who say "Me too! You're just like me!" but irl people are like "I don't want to be friends with aspergers. Why are you jobless? All proper people have jobs! You're depressed? You're probably crazy! How can you not love your parents, are you a heartless psychopath?"

Thanks. True, it's still so hard, and I have days when I want to contact him, but I haven't yet. I'd say that 90% of the time I spent with him I enjoyed, but the 10% was so toxic that it made me leave.

I love writing, I should probably write a book. No problem!

I guess I'd rather receive attention from many than one too, because I don't want to be dependent on one person. That's hard with friendships. Often when people have only one friend, they'll keep calling and texting that one friend so much that the friend gets annoyed. That has happened to me, because I rarely have many people to call. I feel like they think "I don't have time to hang out with you every second, leave me alone". Meanwhile if you have several friends you don't have the "I'm lonely, well, time to call my only friend for the tenth time this week, I hope they won't get mad." problem.

Wanting attention is healthy, it's a basic human need. It only becomes unhealthy when you get lots of positive attention from different sources and still want more. And of course what kind of attention you receive is important too. Sometimes I draw a picture and people will just talk to me about everything else while I just want someone to look at the picture. Or when I watched Castlevania and wanted to talk about it but no one else had watched it (and no, I won't go to Reddit and get downvoted). I had one friend that I didn't share hobbies with, so the chats were like "Nice weather" instead of anything that I would have liked.
 
ghost_

ghost_

Member
Nov 10, 2021
62
hey if you ever need anyone to talk to, about anything, I'll be here to listen :)
 
lms101

lms101

New Member
Oct 15, 2021
3
I don't like much attention myself because attention often means stress and trouble, but when I do, it's because I didn't really have any real parents or friends in childhood and I've always been ignored.

I'm always the kind of person who says "I don't need anyone, I hate humans, I wanna be alone forever" yet when my friend visits me I suddenly feel really good and I'm like "How is this possible? How is it possible to feel this good when I hate humans?".
I hard relate to you on this. My parents weren't horrible (dad was pretty abusive but it could've been a lot worse, and he was only in my life till I was about twelve) and I'm pretty lucky to have a mom that cares about me, but I did lack pretty much any attention from people my own age in my childhood as a result of being homeschooled (which I feel probably fucked me up socially).

A lot of the time I tell myself that I just don't like people and wanna be alone. But I feel like for me it could be because I'm just extremely insecure/anxious and feel like I can't really be myself around most people (even "close" friends) which probably severely impacts how much I enjoy spending time with people. I also tend to stop trying with people because I genuinely believe that I'm unlikable/unlovable by anyone, and any sort of response that I perceive to be negative will be a sign that the person doesn't like me.
 
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Nightmare

Nightmare

Devil
Sep 15, 2018
104
Ok this isn't like a massive problem of mine it's just incredibly annoying that people take more than 6 hours to respond to my messages, when I know some of them don't do shit all day. (and respond to other people too, they do not have an excuse)

I always tell some bullshit to myself like "oh I don't need anyone, people cause problems" but I do, since Im an attention whore.

And the slightest bit of acknowledgement from anyone makes my brain go a little wonky.

-

Plus, I broke contact with my best friend since I could not stand him anymore (very bad anger issues, would get irritated at anything I did wrong). I miss his company, not so much him though.
You probably don't need anyone but you are not biologically engineered to do so, So your body will force you into interacting with people you normally wouldn't appreciate engaging with and again feel bad about yourself when you dismissed what your gut has warned you that it will happen
Pro tip: Nobody cares about anyone's life details that does not reflect on their own lives(or is a mean to get something they want) so you'd be better off not expecting that
Personally PPL avoid talking to me because they feel insecure about their intelligence around me not because they don't want to and I am never going to pretend that I care about a subject/person that I do not care about for any reason.
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
730
I hard relate to you on this. My parents weren't horrible (dad was pretty abusive but it could've been a lot worse, and he was only in my life till I was about twelve) and I'm pretty lucky to have a mom that cares about me, but I did lack pretty much any attention from people my own age in my childhood as a result of being homeschooled (which I feel probably fucked me up socially).

A lot of the time I tell myself that I just don't like people and wanna be alone. But I feel like for me it could be because I'm just extremely insecure/anxious and feel like I can't really be myself around most people (even "close" friends) which probably severely impacts how much I enjoy spending time with people. I also tend to stop trying with people because I genuinely believe that I'm unlikable/unlovable by anyone, and any sort of response that I perceive to be negative will be a sign that the person doesn't like me.
I wish I was home schooled, better than to be bullied everyday by everyone while teachers turn the blind eye.

I felt like that almost my whole life. But now I'm finally starting to feel the other way. I feel like they wouldn't be good enough for me. It's true about the "Can't be yourself". I'm an antinalist, most people hate antinatalists. If I found a group of friends it would probably go like:

Person1: "I'm pregnant."
Person2: "I just had a baby."
Person3: "I have two small kids already but I'm planning for a third."
I: "Person1, you are really poor, and you can barely buy enough food for yourself, you shouldn't have kids before you can afford them. Person2, you should have aborted that baby, I heard the baby suffers from the same severe hereditary problems and disabilities as your parents did, that baby will never be able to have a healthly and happy life. Person3 - why not focus on your existing children instead of bringing more children to suffer in a cruel world? Or if you want more children why not adopt?"
Persons1-3: Fuck you Manaaja, why don't you go and kill yourself if you hate life so much!

I feel that most "normie" people share the exact same beliefs, worldviews etc with each other and there's no place for people like us who think differently.
 
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netrezven

Arcanist
Dec 13, 2018
472
Well I’m like the opposite, don’t wanna talk to others that much. Feel only discomfort both ways -talking random pointless chat or sharing what I’m interested. My quick fix that works is money, ya money talks for sure and in a little bit more comfortable way.
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,610
Ok this isn't like a massive problem of mine it's just incredibly annoying that people take more than 6 hours to respond to my messages, when I know some of them don't do shit all day. (and respond to other people too, they do not have an excuse)

I always tell some bullshit to myself like "oh I don't need anyone, people cause problems" but I do, since Im an attention whore.

And the slightest bit of acknowledgement from anyone makes my brain go a little wonky.

-

Plus, I broke contact with my best friend since I could not stand him anymore (very bad anger issues, would get irritated at anything I did wrong). I miss his company, not so much him though.
“Attention whore” is harsh.
People are social creatures from time to time, and being acknowledged can be important.
It’s frustrating to feel like you are going unnoticed or unheard.

People do cause problems and create them when there are none. For “entertainment value” which is not valuable or entertaining at all.

Some “best friends” come and go. I have been the passive friend and the one that suppresses anger when someone disrespects me, my safety, or my boundaries. Communication is important. What did you do “wrong”? And could it have been prevented? Ask yourself that.
Was the person overreacting?
Some people are also overly critical about certain things.

It’s sad when people say “can’t you find better friends?”
Apparently some people are just so selfish. Cliques.
 
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