N

noname223

Enlightened
Aug 18, 2020
1,284
5 I am so sick of this day. My PC did not work once again (a new one is too epensive), I noticed my fingers are often numb (might be carpal tunnel syndrome - if that is true I might cannot play video games anymore - one of my favorite hobbies), I might have 2 holes in my teeth (It looks like that), my recovery attempt failed and I reduced my college lessons by the half. I now study a ridiculous low amount of time and I still have strong sleeping order due to that. There is no reason to go on with college but I might go on with it due to absolutely no alternatives.
Oh and weight gain.
The only reason I am not severly depressed again is because I feel the duty to do my stuff for college. (which is absolutely hopeless.)
 
Last edited:
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,919
8.5. I'm sick of being invalidated by my parents. My so called "best" friend contacted me after over a month of not hearing from her because I was mad at her for gaslighting me and I ended up "forgiving her." I feel really weak and spineless for letting her come back in my life when she hurt me. I tried telling my dad how I felt about my friend gaslighting me and how I wanted to ctb and he told me I was acting like a teenager :notsure: I'd love to ctb right now, but I'd feel slightly bad for my mental health team because they're trying to get me in a better place, though being alive hurts a lot
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,919
7. A little lower today, but still high. My dad's talking about kicking me out by January 1st and idk if he's serious or not, but if he is and I become homeless, then I don't see a point in living for much longer. I already don't want to live and ended up sleeping with my rope with it around my neck, but I'm trying to have hope that it might get better, but so far, it's just been getting worse
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
730
It was low till I remembered one thing. Then it jumped to 10. Why must dying be so hard, why must living be so hard, I wish everything was easy and nice. I want to be myself. I want to be the real me.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,919
6.5. I got high last night and it brought my thoughts down to a 2. Now it's back up, but lower than yesterday. I had fun though and it took my mind off what has been happening
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: lobster salad

Similar threads