- Aug 19, 2019
How can you continue when you believe everything is more negative than it actually is? Like everyone and everything is out to get you?
I think I am similar. I continually go over and over events in my head and tend to interpret them as negatively as possible. My therapist told me to at least allow for the possibility that there are other reasons for others’ behavior even if not outright believing it is so. For example, if someone has a frown while talking to me, instead of assuming it has to do with me I can tell myself that the person was having a bad day. She said even allowing for the different possibilities has an effect on the brain. Also, in my case, self esteem has something to do with it.WatermelonMel said:How can you continue when you believe everything is more negative than it actually is? Like everyone and everything is out to get you?
[I will probably regret having posted this tomorrow, because it's fairly late and I don't even know if I'm making any sense.]GenesAndEnvironment said:It "actually is" nothing tho. For me I don't get any emotional satisfaction (or any other form of satusfaction) from "good" things happening.
Bench press PR? No reaction. Got a job? No reaction.
Only thing I can get emotionally worked up over are "negative" things with the one exeption of when I delude myself into thinking a woman is interested in me (lmao).
Schöngeist said:If it were possible to objectively rate positive experiences and negative experiences on a scale from 1 to 10, a negative experience of order 7 would have a much bigger impact than a positive experience of the same magnitude.
Stupid biology.hotelbeneathground said:The negativity bias/effect. Things of a more negative nature have a greater effect on our psychological state than neutral or positive things. Those of our miserable ancestors who paid more attention to the bad/dangerous shit around them were more likely to survive. Thanks for surviving, assholes.
One more wonderful fact about our brains: they're wired to take the good things in our lives for granted.
Truth is a pretty scarce resource. Most of the time you have to orient yourself purely by assumption. If you assume good things you are an optimist and if you assume bad things you are a pessimist ("realist" is a synonym for latter). Over the last 10 years I've shifted somewhat from pessmism to optimism, as strange as that sounds, but it's something that naturally happens when maximalism fades and your expectations are tempered. It's not so much that my assumptions changed but rather my perception of what is "bad" has narrowed. Most of the assumptions that struck terror in teenage me don't even register as something negative with adult me. Many of the things I was once brooding about didn't go away, but I became casually accepting of them.timf said:We can use truth like a flashlight. When we shine it on our thoughts, it can cause inflated demons to shrink. However, it can also expose real negatives so that we can minimize potential problems.