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T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
i was just wondering if there was anyone in here who feels like they never grew up?

Anyone in their 30s who still just feels incredibly immature and unable to function in the adult world.

I’ve heard it has a name Peter Pan syndrome. Caused by dysfunctional relationships between mother and son.
 
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T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
Yep.
Having passed my 30ies a while ago and still feeling like a 16 year old.
Disfunctional relationship with a mother a given. She topped herself ( many fruitless efforts before it worked ) whilst I was growing up.
Peter Pan it is.

If you don’t mind me asking, how have you dealt with it? Did you just stay in low stress jobs and stay home?
 
wezel

wezel

-
Aug 14, 2018
221
If you don’t mind me asking, how have you dealt with it? Did you just stay in low stress jobs and stay home?
I was lucky in the sense that I am an artist, and with that profession you can get away with murder, and as I was very talented nobody did mind, people judge you quite differently.
I have the distinct feeling I am not the only one from that particular professional group with that condition.
 
T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
I was lucky in the sense that I am an artist, and with that profession you can get away with murder, and as I was very talented nobody did mind, people judge you quite differently.
I have the distinct feeling I am not the only one from that particular professional group with that condition.

Ah, yeah. That is lucky. You’re supposed to be a bit ridiculous. Funny, I’ve always gotten along with artistic types. Practical people I find nearly impossible.
 
wezel

wezel

-
Aug 14, 2018
221
Ah, yeah. That is lucky. You’re supposed to be a bit ridiculous. Funny, I’ve always gotten along with artistic types. Practical people I find nearly impossible.

The problem with having an excessive amount of talent in any given field outside the popular areas ( sports, pop music ) is that it makes you an outsider from early on ( school etc ).
So your art is all you got. But it can be a fairly satisfying existence as you live outside the daily grind. And yes I cannot really understand practical people either, I find them very strange..watching people in shopping malls is a favourite of mine....that empty and greedy consumerism...these bloated bodies...the hideousness of it all...I am digressing, need to stop.
Good night !
 
D

Deleted_9cKnXB34QG

Mage
Jun 26, 2018
502
My development stopped at the age of 18, I feel like I've regressed even - I used to be ways less anxious and less socially retarded.
Noways even going to a shopping center seems overwhelming. I'm like a child, completely lost and scared of the real world - I don't know how to function in it.
 
Pepega

Pepega

Betaman
Mar 2, 2019
101
I still watch cartoons from time to time, the nostalgia feels nice
 
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yannyorlaurel

yannyorlaurel

Member
Aug 31, 2020
29
Only in my very early 20s, but yes I fit this to a T. Have never planned on growing past a certain age. Ironically one of the boys who the story of Peter Pan was based on (Michael Llewelyn Davies) drowned in a suspected suicide aged 20. The actor who portrayed him in the cartoon died relatively young aged 30. I take comfort in dying young, like to pretend I’m going to Neverland. Remember Peter said “to die will be an awfully big adventure” :hug:
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
16,341
I still feel like a 12 year old sometimes and I'm 26. Then again, when I was 12 I basically acted like an 8 year old...
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Defective since birth
Jul 1, 2020
4,351
I still feel like a 12 year old sometimes and I'm 26. Then again, when I was 12 I basically acted like an 8 year old...
i was told to grow up sometime when i was still in the single digits. between that and having to raise my little brother since i was 11-16 i grew up a lot quicker then most. so when my husband came along and didnt judge me for "having fun" i kind of lost control of it and act like im 5 (im 21)
 
262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,759
I'm surprised I never posted here. Peter Pan (puer aterenus) is one of the few archetypes that I can relate to, and which describes me very well. A boy who thinks he deserves much more than the daily grind, who prefers to satisfy his desires in fictional worlds because the "objective" world is way too demanding for what can it possibly give.

Remember Peter said “to die will be an awfully big adventure” :hug:
I don't get the quote. What do you make of it? Does "awfully big" means good/desirable or bad/undesirable here? What's the context?
 
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yannyorlaurel

yannyorlaurel

Member
Aug 31, 2020
29
I'm surprised I never posted here. Peter Pan (puer aterenus) is one of the few archetypes that I can relate to, and which describes me very well. A boy who thinks he deserves much more than the daily grind, who prefers to satisfy his desires in fictional worlds because the "objective" world is way too demanding for what can it possibly give.


I don't get the quote. What do you make of it? Does "awfully big" means good/desirable or bad/undesirable here? What's the context?
When used in some of the movies, the character seems to say it gleefully when he anticipates his death could be near. I interpreted it as, since he can never grow up/lives eternally as a child, he has already had all the experiences available to him. Death is the only "unknown" and he is not scared of it, but rather views it as the final adventure.
 
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W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,517
I'm still stuck in adolescence, I feel sometimes. I think it has to do with repressing my sexuality during that pivotal time of my development. I also skipped two grades in school when I was growing up and started university at 16. I feel like I missed out on formative experiences. Most people hate their adolescent years, but I wish I could relive mine for the chance to do it right.
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,759
I honestly don't understand how adults (or animals in general of any age) can enjoy life which is so expensive to maintain. Work for income for a half of your awake time, go to some place to buy stuff and in another place to buy something else, clean the appartment from dirt, dust, mould, cook healthy foods, clean dishes, fix dysfunctional electronics, exercise, clean the body, clean the clothes, meet people you don't like, deal with people that cross your path... and all for what? Not to inhale the air filled with dust or mould spores? Not to starve? Not to look like trash, smell like trash, or more importantly, feel like trash? All of this just to alleviate pain and suffering. Make the existence to be less shity. It's like being a circus animal, raised to perform meaningless tricks for someone's amusement. How circus tricks are more or less meaningless than survival and reproduction?

Humans, like all animals, are trained to survive from the birth, and maybe even earlier. Trained with pain, like unfortunate wildlife captives. I understand why would people, like all animals, keep doing these tricks. I'm bound to serve our internal authorities. I was made to serve, not knowing any other life. I believe the same applies to other animals. What I don't understand is how could someone claim enjoy it?
 
Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,224
To be honest I don't see what's wrong with not wanting to grow up. The idea of "maturity" is largely psychological. We're told that we are only allowed to do certain things at certain ages - "Oh you're 23 and you play with toys? Ha! Grow up loser!" You're labelled as "childish" if you enjoy something that is not considered suitable for whatever age group you are in, and once you are an adult you have to be "mature" - which entails living a boring life and obsessing overs things such as taxes, marriages, etc... I think this is silly. Nothing should be considered childish or mature; you should be able to act silly and have fun at any age.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
16,341
To be honest I don't see what's wrong with not wanting to grow up. The idea of "maturity" is largely psychological. We're told that we are only allowed to do certain things at certain ages - "Oh you're 23 and you play with toys? Ha! Grow up loser!" You're labelled as "childish" if you enjoy something that is not considered suitable for whatever age group you are in, and once you are an adult you have to be "mature" - which entails living a boring life and obsessing overs things such as taxes, marriages, etc... I think this is silly. Nothing should be considered childish or mature; you should be able to act silly and have fun at any age.
While I agree with this, I think society’s spotlight on pedophiles has ruined any chance of ever looking at an adult who willfully acts like a kid (and presumably doesn’t have some developmental disability) the same way again because that’s how actual pedophiles seem to lure children to be around them. It sucks but I guess at least people don’t usually outright say that liking certain childish things alone is bad and if they do, those guys are already asshats anyway.

Maybe as the millennials who struggled at “adulting” make it to middle age and become the primary adult workforce, then people will maybe be lighter to those who act like a kid since each successive generation seems to be staying a child longer and longer as time goes on.
 
mr.smileysad

mr.smileysad

Student
Aug 29, 2020
159
every single person I know baby sits me and I do kind of act like a kid but I can still take care of me
(get dressed mr.smiley)
 
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Enabran255

Enabran255

Numbed
Oct 2, 2019
99
I'm stuck at around the 20 years of age point for various reasons. These include my interests as well as my life never progressing beyond that point socially, romantically, and professionally. I think part of it is owing to the double edged sword that is my trainwreck of a work history. Because I've failed colossally at ever making any progress at a career, one of the few positive side effects is that I've been spared being ground down to a nub by the ruthless realities of wage slavery.

I've observed people I've known through the years and seen how their interests changed once they got into the modern workplace. All their fun, "childish" interests quickly disappeared because they just didn't have time for them anymore, as well as the peer pressure of wanting to fit in with coworkers. I'm sure the unavoidable disillusionment that comes standard with an 8-5 also played a big part.

It's a sad reality that one will be brutally judged and thrown into the "pedophile" camp for daring to hold onto dear interests after being deemed "too old" by society. It just makes it that much more impossible to find people you can connect with as friends or lovers once you're past that age of no return. This is a big part of my daily suicide fuel: Being so isolated and alone and knowing I probably have a better chance at winning the lottery than I do in finding a kindred spirit/soulmate who shares my interests.. and it's all because I've existed for too many orbits around the sun.
 
mediocre

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,338
I definitely have Peter Pan syndrome! what an appropriate name. That's exactly how I feel.
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,759
A little about objective world vs. imaginary world. Fuck I don't know what to say. I had this speech preparing in my head and now that I'm trying to express it in words it's all gone... Gaining power in objective world (like learning martial arts, law, or manipulative tactics people often employ against each other) makes you more likely to win a conflict, but that means that others are also more likely to lose a conflict, so that others become weaker and suffer more.

Gaining power in imaginary world (creating an imaginary friend, working with underdeveloped aspects of one's personality, mostly things to fulfill fantasies that are impossible/too hard to fulfill in objective world) doesn't hurt others. If you imagine beating the shit out of someone, that someone doesn't experience pain. Imagining is about satisfying personal wants/needs without stomping on others.

The power of imagination can be shared without hurting those who didn't recieve this power (video games, movies, books, drawings). Sharing power in objective world makes others more powerful, and more likely to win conflicts, which means that their enemies (and conflicts in objective world are inevitable) lose power, lose conflicts, suffer more. (Mostly education and nurturing, like teaching someone self-defense/offense, proper nutrition, treating diseases, teaching logic, economics, psychology, etc..)

I understand that imagination won't work for everyone. While objective world has fluctuating difficulty (depends on the attributes of other people, enemies are changing, as well as their individual attributes), the difficulty of imaginary world seems to be more fixed. (You don't have enemies that also become stronger, and are in conflict with you.) Some people who aren't fit for RL battles might be better off retreating to the imaginary, and opposite might be true as well.
 
D

Devil0606

Member
Sep 5, 2020
7
Ya fella... Same here many times I confronted the situation that I don't know how to react n what to say... Very difficult to handle relationships... Don't know why the people are not happy n always pulling the legs
 
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Sarahlynn

Sarahlynn

Deep breath, stand back, it's time.
Aug 19, 2020
127
Lego, Harry Potter, Disney movies, gummy bears, Nintendo, daydreaming, and stuff that glows in the dark rocks.

Paying bills, cleaning, grocery shopping, follow up on appointments and taking out the garbage sucks.

The best thing about being an adult is living alone and buying alcohol and drugs. I drink my wine and smoke my joint while I eat my gummy bears and play Nintendo all night long. In my 30's.
 
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Xocoyotziin

Xocoyotziin

Scorpion
Sep 5, 2020
402
Not in my 30s yet but late 20s
I read part of a book (there's your hint, pans read the fun stuff then put it down) called the problem of the puer aeternalis by... I dunno, a protege of jung I think. I disagreed with her "solution" and her extremely antiquated views of homosexuality but damn if she didn't describe me to a T. It describes a very specific kind of immaturity that's hard to articulate and grasp if you're someone who it fits.

Most of the time I'm numb to it but when it comes to mind I realize how out of sync I am and it makes me feel invalid and ashamed. All I need to do is make something of myself for one moment to validate my way of being then I'm done. If I get that far.

She also spent most of what I read of the book analyzing the little prince and its author as the quintessential puer. So it's not necessarily a bad thing, considering that he's an extremely influential artist. But we all know that the little prince killed himself in the end.

I have no idea why this was filtered by the mod engine. What did I say wrong? Such nail-biting tension.
 
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