isad

isad

Member
Jul 13, 2022
13
I live alone. I have a couple thousand dollars. I’m in the US. I’ve tried to CTB once unsuccessfully with prescription drugs. I’m way too pussy for hanging. I’ve debated driving off a cliff/into a wall or jumping from somewhere very high, but I fear becoming a vegetable and being unsuccessful.

Ideas?
 
Jrmull1993

Jrmull1993

Arcanist
Jul 13, 2022
429
I'm glad your hesitant about resorting to a motor vehicle method, I definitely believe they are a poor choice for most people.

With the exception of Nembutal, you have practically limitless methods at your disposal that involve little to no money. If your looking to CTB using chemicals over a physical means I'd suggest you read the PPeH.

 
Last edited:
isad

isad

Member
Jul 13, 2022
13
I'm glad your hesitant about resorting to a motor vehicle method, I definitely believe they are a poor choice for most people.

With the exception of Nembutal, you have practically limitless methods at your disposal that involve little to no money. If your looking to CTB using chemicals vs a physical means I'd suggest you read the PPeH.

Thank you for this resource 💜
I'm glad your hesitant about resorting to a motor vehicle method, I definitely believe they are a poor choice for most people.

With the exception of Nembutal, you have practically limitless methods at your disposal that involve little to no money. If your looking to CTB using chemicals over a physical means I'd suggest you read the PPeH.

Nembutal would be pretty difficult to get in the US I’m learning. Impossible even?
 
Last edited:
mayonnaise_daises

mayonnaise_daises

a bed of daisies growing where the bodies once lay
Nov 25, 2020
105
If you have money to spare, Nembutal would be the way to go. Afaik D's contact info isn't available atm but it's gonna get updated soon although people on the forum are usually tight-lipped about sources. Prescription drugs have a very low rate of success. There's a resources megathread in suicide discussions, most people are leaning towards SN method nowadays which doesn't usually leave permanent damage if found/saved because of availability, price, and it's less violent than other methods. You can read up about it on Stan's guide or the SN megathread. Nembutal is painless and has the most chance of success (which could be a con if one decides to change their mind last second compared to SN) but it's expensive, the package could be intercepted, and you're relying on D and have to deal with online anonymous payment.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: isad and Jrmull1993
isad

isad

Member
Jul 13, 2022
13
If you have money to spare, Nembutal would be the way to go. Afaik D's contact info isn't available atm but it's gonna get updated soon although people on the forum are usually tight-lipped about sources. Prescription drugs have a very low rate of success. There's a resources megathread in suicide discussions, most people are leaning towards SN method nowadays which doesn't usually leave permanent damage if found/saved because of availability, price, and it's less violent than other methods. You can read up about it on Stan's guide or the SN megathread. Nembutal is painless and has the most chance of success (which could be a con if one decides to change their mind last second compared to SN) but it's expensive, the package could be intercepted, and you're relying on D and have to deal with online anonymous payment.
Nembutal seems the best to me. I’ve used prescription drugs before, but I was found too soon. I live alone and that wouldn’t be a problem now. I just need access. I no longer have any prescription meds at home besides less than a bottle full of muscle relaxers which won’t do anything.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mayonnaise_daises
mayonnaise_daises

mayonnaise_daises

a bed of daisies growing where the bodies once lay
Nov 25, 2020
105
Nembutal seems the best to me. I’ve used prescription drugs before, but I was found too soon. I live alone and that wouldn’t be a problem now. I just need access. I no longer have any prescription meds at home besides less than a bottle full of muscle relaxers which won’t do anything.
Unfortunately, the forum is in a state of disarray because of LE visits to those who received N from D. There's a contact for D in the PPeH but people have conflicting anecdotes on the email being active yet D isn't replying to messages anymore. If you look at suicide discussions, there are a lot of posts concerning D who was the most reliable supplier of N.

If you want N, you might have to sit and wait a little for the situation to become stable again. It also might help your case to be more active and establish yourself more since uh people are tight-lipped about sources around new accounts in fear of LE disguising themselves in the forum.

I'm not going to use N so I'm just the messenger. I'm not involved in the whole D thing going on, so good luck.

If you can't wait around, it might be worth looking into other methods. F is good, but I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for sources and people might be uncomfortable handling needles.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Enlightened
Apr 15, 2022
1,706
With the N situation right now, I think it would be prudent to find another method that you can, figuratively, live with, and make that your first choice. Read about it, study it, learn everything you can about it, make a good plan with it. And after all that, if the N situation resolves itself, you can then revert back to the N method. At least this way, you have another way that is acceptable. My go to method is CO and I may even stick to it even if the N situation resolves. Actually, I more than likely will stick to it when the time comes. N has its minuses, too.
 
isad

isad

Member
Jul 13, 2022
13
Fuck this is exhausting. I wish I could volunteer as tribute to a serial killer who doesn’t torture their victims. Seriously, I think all the time if somebody ever approached me to rob me or whatnot, I’d beg for them to end my life.

I’ve only got about a month or two before I completely run out of money. I can’t do needles. I shall look into CO I guess. Thank you for the suggestions.
 
theboy

theboy

Student
Jul 15, 2022
163
Fuck this is exhausting. I wish I could volunteer as tribute to a serial killer who doesn’t torture their victims. Seriously, I think all the time if somebody ever approached me to rob me or whatnot, I’d beg for them to end my life.

I’ve only got about a month or two before I completely run out of money. I can’t do needles. I shall look into CO I guess. Thank you for the suggestions.
Wow, I share your opinion. If a gun was pointed at me, I would let myself be shot. If you have money, you could enjoy it doing what you like.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: isad
isad

isad

Member
Jul 13, 2022
13
Wow, I share your opinion. If a gun was pointed at me, I would let myself be shot. If you have money, you could enjoy it doing what you like.
I am doing my very best to do things I like while I’m still here. I now just need a somewhat peaceful plan for my end of life celebration 🙂 I don’t like that we feel this way, but earth is brutal.
 
  • Like
Reactions: theboy
B

befree

free choice
Mar 22, 2022
1,051
I shall look into CO I guess. Thank you for the suggestions.
This is a proven CO guide:

Other option:

SN, inert gases (helium or nitrogen) preferably with diving equipment or travel to a country where N is available and CTB right there.
 
Last edited:
theboy

theboy

Student
Jul 15, 2022
163
I am doing my very best to do things I like while I’m still here. I now just need a somewhat peaceful plan for my end of life celebration 🙂 I don’t like that we feel this way, but earth is brutal.
A list of things you want to do is a good plan :) Yes, the land where we live is pure darkness
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: isad
isad

isad

Member
Jul 13, 2022
13
This is a proven CO guide:

Other option:

SN, inert gases (helium or nitrogen) preferably with diving equipment or travel to a country where N is available and CTB right there.
I’ve been looking into other countries for N. It seems Mexico is a solid maybe. That’s the best I could find. Do you have any other insight?
 
R

rationaltake

Enlightened
Sep 28, 2021
1,865

It's a lot to take in. I know. Don't know if you've seen this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: isad
B

befree

free choice
Mar 22, 2022
1,051
I’ve been looking into other countries for N. It seems Mexico is a solid maybe. That’s the best I could find. Do you have any other insight?
Since I don't think it's a good idea to post countries, I will send you a PM.
 
  • Like
Reactions: isad