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RetroChaos

RetroChaos

Still heartbroken.
Dec 21, 2021
80
Hi, sorry for the vague title.

I've been edging towards this moment but honestly I feel like it's time.

It's been over two years and I'm still not over my ex. I can't keep living with this day-to-day pain of feeling like a massive failure. The reason she left me was all my fault - I was looking at illegal pornography since I was so numb to it all and I showed it to her, scarring her. She stayed with me through my court trials but even then I was unfaithful and saw two other girls because I was so addicted to sex. It ruined my life and now each day she's gone I think about how perfect she was and how she helped me and how poorly I treated her and threw it back in her face. I tried contacting her after she left me but all that ended up was me being cautioned by the police. I was close to proposing to her before she left me so my whole life was kinda left deserted.

I really can't live with myself anymore - what I've done and also living without her. I know that's selfish but I've clearly spent my whole life being selfish so one final act won't make a difference.

I need some SN in the UK or I'll just jump from Beachy Head.

I've just had enough of the path of destruction I've led and I want to end it all. I'm tired of drinking whisky most nights to numb the pain and just buying retro games to give my life some empty meaning.

I'm tired. I've had enough. Maybe in a parallel universe. I just want to die and give all my worth my to my Jessica since I couldn't when I was alive and I'm sick of seeing her on social media.

Please let me know if anyone has any contacts for SN in the UK. I just wanna die.

I'm sorry Jessica.
 
jodes2

jodes2

I'm pro CHOICE. Don't start on me. PLEASE
Aug 28, 2022
4,180
I have an SN source if you need, pm me - but I hope you don't do it, things get better, it will get easier ❤️ sorry you're suffering. Heartbreak is hard, sorry for your loss ❤️
 
GasMonkey

GasMonkey

N₂ SCBA Master Race
May 15, 2022
438
How did Law Enforcement discover that you were in possession of illegal multimedia?
 
Girl-shaped Wound

Girl-shaped Wound

In love with a person that doesn't exist
Feb 19, 2022
153
It's been over two years and I'm still not over my ex. I can't keep living with this day-to-day pain of feeling like a massive failure
Damn man, I'm so sorry –
The reason she left me was all my fault - I was looking at illegal pornography since I was so numb to it all and I showed it to her, scarring her.
Oh no fuck it.
I am sorry – for the victims of the illegal porn that you watched. And for your ex.
I hope that she is getting some bomb-ass therapy and some much needed self-esteem.
I'm out.
 
BipolarExpress

BipolarExpress

he/him · tired/exhausted
Nov 11, 2022
261
Damn man, I'm so sorry –

Oh no fuck it.
I am sorry – for the victims of the illegal porn that you watched. And for your ex.
I hope that she is getting some bomb-ass therapy and some much needed self-esteem.
I'm out.
👆 My feelings exactly.
 
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freedomcalls

Student
Nov 9, 2022
136
I’m sorry for the pain you’ve had that brought you to that point in your life

I hope you can find the peace that you are looking for
 
Girl-shaped Wound

Girl-shaped Wound

In love with a person that doesn't exist
Feb 19, 2022
153
👆 My feelings exactly.
Today I randomly remembered this cursed thread and realized that OP has expressed zero sympathy to the CP/sexual abuse victims (what other kind of porn is illegal?) whose content he has watched. Only for himself, for having to face the consequences of being caught, like dealing with the LE and ex-girlfriend growing some spine.
Bleak.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Visionary
Apr 15, 2022
2,591
Stop everyone for a second. What exactly is illegal porn? I'm very, very sure that depends on what country you reside in. I'm not sure if I missed it, but I have no idea where the OP resides. Illegal porn in this person's country may be entirely different than the illegal porn that comes to mind if you live in the US, or Canada, or any Western country. It may not be "child" related at all. It could very well be consenting adults engaging in sexual acts. That type of porn IS illegal in some places. I need to know more before I cast judgment.
 
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fluffymoomin

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Jan 5, 2022
69
says he's from the UK... it's definitely CP or something equally as bad lol. no sympathy from me. or a lot of other people on here probably because so many of us have been victims of sexual abuse/assault etc. i don't care what happens to someone who interacts w that type of content.

the kind of shit you have to watch to end up with a literal court case against you in the UK is like, necrophilia, bestiality, CP, life threatening injury or rape. idk how he ended up in court, i'm assuming the gf contacted the police, but whatever was being watched it was clearly something deeply concerning
 
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