- Apr 30, 2018
It's like everyone is using N, I wish I had N, I feel like I have to resort to hanging.
I've already backed out of a few deadlines and I'm still suffering, I'm constantly wishing I was dead, I'm in so much pain.I set a deadline for July 31th in February. Looks like I won't be able to go through with it. Not because my life got got better, it only got worse. I ordered SN a couple of weeks ago but chickened out (canceled).
New plan is waiting for my next paycheck, order SN again, travel to the beach one last time (haven't seen a beach for 12 years) and do it then. I took 3 weeks off at my shitty job. Planned date is second half of August. It sucks to be a coward.