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X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,652
I’ll start.

“The safest way of not being very miserable is not to expect to be very happy” - Arthur Schopenhauer

“Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.” - Ernest Hemingway

I didn’t really understand the latter until I had a bout with severe anhedonia for one hellish year. Our man Hemingway knew his shit.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

FUBAR
Jan 26, 2021
5,171
qjepEDORJn.jpg

Kj6OaRr8J0.jpg
 
UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,066
Cliche or not, it's still one of my favorite quotes:

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."


--William Shakespeare

***
“We are aberrations—beings born undead, neither one thing nor another, or two things at once … uncanny things that have nothing to do with the rest of creation, horrors that poison the world by sowing our madness everywhere we go, glutting daylight and darkness with incorporeal obscenities."

-- Thomas Ligotti
***

Besides, I’m not in the mood for all this today. I have no desire to demonstrate, surprise, amuse, or persuade. My goal is absolute rest. To know nothing, to teach nothing, to want nothing, to sense nothing, to sleep, and then to sleep more.”

--Charles Baudelaire
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
16,321
Life Being Shit, eh? South Park illuminated this issue to me almost ten years ago:

KyleWhat's up?
StanKyle, I have to admit something to you. You know how I told you over the phone I like the new Gersploosh album? I lied. I don't like it. I don't like it at all, Kyle.
KyleOh. Really? Um well that's okay.
StanNo, you don't understand dude. Something's happened. Tween Wave doesn't sound the same to me.
KyleWhy? What's it sound like?
StanIt... kind of sounds like shit.
KyleWhat? You mean like you don't like the singing, or the lyrics, or what?
StanNo. I mean it sounds like somebody is shitting in my ears. Please, just listen really close. [has Kyle listen to a track] You don't hear shit?
KyleNo.
StanThat doesn't sound like shit to you?
KyleNO. Dude, maybe you should see a doctor.
A doctor's office, day. Stan took Kyle's advice. A doctor is checking Stan's ears
StanAnd so then I put on exactly the same album that I really like a year ago, and it sounded like shit to me.
Doctor CarollUh huh, and what about food? Are some of the things you thought tasted good tasting like shit to you now, too?
StanYeah. I used to love these Pop Rock things, and I tried them the other day and I thought they tasted like shit.
Doctor Caroll[reads his medical file] This says you had a birthday recently?
StanI just turned 10.
Doctor CarollWell, that makes sense. You see Stan, as you get older, your eardrums, taste buds, all that stuff develops and changes.
StanSo this is normal?
Doctor CarollIt's very normal. Let's just do a quick ear exam. I'm gonna play some Tween Wave music and you tell me what you hear. [plays some music, with lots of fart sounds]What's that sound like to you?
StanSounds like shit.
Doctor CarollAha. Now I'm going to play you some good ole Bob Dylan. [plays a Dylan track. Dylan gets through three syllables before fart sounds replace him.]
StanUh that sounds like shit too.
Doctor CarollWait, this sounds like shit to you?
StanYeah dude, it's just shit.
Doctor CarollWell that's very strange. [turns off the player] Hm, I'm gonna try somethin' else. [takes two pictures up to Stan] Look at these two pictures. One of them is an ad for Kevin James' new movie The Zookeeper, and the other is a turd in a microwave. Which one is the ad for The Zookeeper?
StanThey both look the same. [true enough, except for the turds]
Doctor CarollYou don't see any difference in the pictures?
StanNo.
Doctor Caroll[holds up the picture in his right hand] That is an ad for The Zookeeper and [holds up the picture in his left hand] that is a turd about to be reheated.
StanThey both look like turds about to be reheated to me.
Doctor CarollOh dear. I think I know what this is. You see Stan, as you get older, things that you used to like start looking and sounding like shit. And things that seemed shitty as a child don't seem as shitty. With you, somehow, the wires have gotten crossed and everything looks and sounds like shit to you. It's a condition called "being a cynical asshole."
StanOh no.
Doctor CarollYes. And there's no known cure, I'm afraid. Everything just seems shitty, and everyone starts to seem shitty, and everything they say just starts to [sounds shitty now, and Stan can't believe his ears. Soon, shit comes out of the doctor's mouth and Stan is more horrified]
No quote, but this next segment shows how I sort of felt with depression too. The only way I’ve been able to stay sane is by finding ironic or dumb reasons to like things before they become genuine to me...
 
X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,652
1993B3ED-2F86-4B65-9D0F-200456E6D37D.jpeg
Life Being Shit, eh? South Park illuminated this issue to me almost ten years ago:

KyleWhat's up?
StanKyle, I have to admit something to you. You know how I told you over the phone I like the new Gersploosh album? I lied. I don't like it. I don't like it at all, Kyle.
KyleOh. Really? Um well that's okay.
StanNo, you don't understand dude. Something's happened. Tween Wave doesn't sound the same to me.
KyleWhy? What's it sound like?
StanIt... kind of sounds like shit.
KyleWhat? You mean like you don't like the singing, or the lyrics, or what?
StanNo. I mean it sounds like somebody is shitting in my ears. Please, just listen really close. [has Kyle listen to a track] You don't hear shit?
KyleNo.
StanThat doesn't sound like shit to you?
KyleNO. Dude, maybe you should see a doctor.
A doctor's office, day. Stan took Kyle's advice. A doctor is checking Stan's ears
StanAnd so then I put on exactly the same album that I really like a year ago, and it sounded like shit to me.
Doctor CarollUh huh, and what about food? Are some of the things you thought tasted good tasting like shit to you now, too?
StanYeah. I used to love these Pop Rock things, and I tried them the other day and I thought they tasted like shit.
Doctor Caroll[reads his medical file] This says you had a birthday recently?
StanI just turned 10.
Doctor CarollWell, that makes sense. You see Stan, as you get older, your eardrums, taste buds, all that stuff develops and changes.
StanSo this is normal?
Doctor CarollIt's very normal. Let's just do a quick ear exam. I'm gonna play some Tween Wave music and you tell me what you hear. [plays some music, with lots of fart sounds]What's that sound like to you?
StanSounds like shit.
Doctor CarollAha. Now I'm going to play you some good ole Bob Dylan. [plays a Dylan track. Dylan gets through three syllables before fart sounds replace him.]
StanUh that sounds like shit too.
Doctor CarollWait, this sounds like shit to you?
StanYeah dude, it's just shit.
Doctor CarollWell that's very strange. [turns off the player] Hm, I'm gonna try somethin' else. [takes two pictures up to Stan] Look at these two pictures. One of them is an ad for Kevin James' new movie The Zookeeper, and the other is a turd in a microwave. Which one is the ad for The Zookeeper?
StanThey both look the same. [true enough, except for the turds]
Doctor CarollYou don't see any difference in the pictures?
StanNo.
Doctor Caroll[holds up the picture in his right hand] That is an ad for The Zookeeper and [holds up the picture in his left hand] that is a turd about to be reheated.
StanThey both look like turds about to be reheated to me.
Doctor CarollOh dear. I think I know what this is. You see Stan, as you get older, things that you used to like start looking and sounding like shit. And things that seemed shitty as a child don't seem as shitty. With you, somehow, the wires have gotten crossed and everything looks and sounds like shit to you. It's a condition called "being a cynical asshole."
StanOh no.
Doctor CarollYes. And there's no known cure, I'm afraid. Everything just seems shitty, and everyone starts to seem shitty, and everything they say just starts to [sounds shitty now, and Stan can't believe his ears. Soon, shit comes out of the doctor's mouth and Stan is more horrified]
No quote, but this next segment shows how I sort of felt with depression too. The only way I’ve been able to stay sane is by finding ironic or dumb reasons to like things before they become genuine to me...

I love being a cynical asshole! At least you can act smugly superior.
 
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UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,066
I'm gonna abuse this thread so much...

"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."

--David Foster Wallace (CTBed on September 12, 2008)
 
X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,652
I'm gonna abuse this thread so much...

"The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."

--David Foster Wallace (CTBed on September 12, 2008)
This is exactly it. And RIP.

I wish it hadn’t come to this. I wish I could enjoy life, but it seems I can’t. At some point, you look at the board and realize that you’re fucked. No amount of squinting and pleading will change what has already happened and what inevitably will. You have lost, and there’s no point in prolonging the misery.
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

So sodomitic.
Apr 13, 2021
5,947
Suicides have already betrayed the body.

Still-born, they don’t always die,
but dazzled, they can’t forget a drug so sweet
that even children would look on and smile.

To thrust all that life under your tongue!—
that, all by itself, becomes a passion.
Death’s a sad bone; bruised, you’d say,

and yet she waits for me, year after year,
to so delicately undo an old wound,
to empty my breath from its bad prison.

-- Anne Sexton
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

So sodomitic.
Apr 13, 2021
5,947
Death was defiance. Death was an attempt to communicate; people feeling the impossibility of reaching the center which, mystically, evaded them; closeness drew apart; rapture faded, one was alone. There was an embrace in death.

-- V. Woolf