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Symbiote

Symbiote

Global Mod
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
2,622
"It gets better" and "talk to someone" and "you're not alone" and all those other maxims very rarely translate into action beyond throwing a phone number at people and thinking that'll magically make it better. Seeking resources isn't pointless but the day-to-day connection between people has turned into a race to get the magic words out without ever having to face the reality of somebody else's hardship.
 
M

MountKecske

Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2021
Messages
67
I reached a new milestone in depression I don’t need benzodiazepines to wind me down, no more panicking and anxiety because I don’t dare to hope to get better(and worry about my future)
 
LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Joined
Nov 4, 2020
Messages
865
Do chickens have pockets! And why are they so keen to get to the other side of the road???
 
Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Joined
Nov 30, 2020
Messages
2,016
Cats can be right dickheads when they want to be. There's a cat that stays up the road from me. It lures you in acting all fluffy and cute, then the second you touch the little black and white cunt, back go the ears and out come the claws.
 
Seaghost

Seaghost

Student
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
117
So the vortex starts again? Since thursday it's getting better.
Now the questions marks comming back into my head and besides that the emptiness. Just slowly but getting stronger.
Please not...make it stop.
 
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hʚll

hʚll

not real
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
266
i feel like i am a new person everytime i contemplate the present and feel really disconnected from the past which belongs to a stranger. makes me feel even more trapped inside a mind and body which is not mine. is prison
 
hʚll

hʚll

not real
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
266
i want a pill to put me immediately to sleep for some hours when i feel the dread incoming

everytime i say lol, i say it out of desperation from not being dead yet

(sorry for spamming this thread lol)
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
I need a supply of ivermectin since making an informed decision to not get vaccinated against covid. ivermectin offers protection from covid in several studies at around 87%. It's horrific some of the disabilities the vaccines have caused in mostly women. The symptoms resemble MS and are totally debilitating. One 15 year old girl was paralyzed from the chest down.
 
hʚll

hʚll

not real
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
266
it's traumatic every time i realize that i'm inside a body
what is this
where is me
what even is me
i suffocate inside
 
littlelungs

littlelungs

Experienced
Joined
Oct 21, 2018
Messages
209
It sucks total dick to have to interact with a narcissist on a daily basis because you're dependent on them for basic help in order to be able to survive in this shitty existence until you can finally get the hell off this planet.

"This is so hard for ME, I'm such a good person, I don't HAVE to help you guys but I do it out of the goodness of my heart, all of my friends say I'm an amazing mother/mother-in-law, me me me..."

Meanwhile, you have your health, a social life etc, all the while your son and daughter-in-law not only have neither of those things, but are suffering beyond comprehension. I always tell you how grateful I am for your help, and I try to make things as easy on you as possible. I know it's a difficult situation but a little bit of perspective would go a long way. But thanks, I guess, for not completely leaving us to rot out of the "goodness of your heart".

You're always the victim. You completely lack perspective and empathy for anyone other than yourself, and then you wonder why your relationship with your own son is so irreparably broken. It's amazing that he turned out as "well" as he did – and you did A LOT of damage.

When you bring another human into the world, there's always the chance that they're not going to turn out the way you want them to. Shit happens, and life is just one big gamble. Your son's chronically ill, and he happened to fall in love with someone else who also turned out to be chronically ill and has absolutely no support because her entire family's on the other side of the world. I'm sorry that it's not what you want, but that's what happened, and guilt-tripping us for something we have absolutely no control over doesn't change a single god damn thing, so I don't know what you're trying to get out of this.

I have such a headache.
 
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hʚll

hʚll

not real
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
266
i wish i was confident enough to tell my family i don't want to go with them on holiday. so i could stay home alone and do my ctb. time feels too slow how can i wait more
at my limit already
 
nightnightnitrite

nightnightnitrite

baby blues
Joined
Apr 17, 2021
Messages
235
I am constantly alone with nothing but time on my hands and my brain wont stop wandering into darkness, what if's and thoughts about them. My bottle of SN is looking pretty friendly right now.
 
Seaghost

Seaghost

Student
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
117
Saw some photos of the one I won't be able to touch anymore in this life. She and her new boyfriend.
It's like touching a meteres thick wall of glass with her behind of it.
No slamming, no screaming nor touching helps.
Thank you god once more.
 
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littlelungs

littlelungs

Experienced
Joined
Oct 21, 2018
Messages
209
I'm laying in bed and learning Czech on Duolingo, as one usually does at 4am, and I keep hearing banging and seeing flashing lights out of the corner of my eye, so I think to myself, "Fuck, am I hallucinating or something?"

No, dumbass, it's called thunder and lightning.
 
Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
When things seem extra bad and upsetting, when something comes to an end that we wish wouldn't have ended, sometimes it's to pave the way for something better in some way. It's an opening and getting rid of that which needed to end.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
I was having a nightmare and woke up to another one.
 
Symbiote

Symbiote

Global Mod
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
2,622
The US is honestly a joke when it comes to dealing with people who are different to others
 
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Nessie

Nessie

Cynical
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
1,205
It's a comforting experience to kind of fall out of life for a while, stay in a hospital, and then find things exactly as they were when you return. It reassures me that nothing is going to be amiss when I'm finally completely gone.
In other news, ever since I started using Facebook it kept taunting me with a "you've got a new friend recommendation" for that one former best friend I hadn't talked to in years every single day, which made no sense since how is it a new recommendation every day for three months. I just joked about the app being diabolically aware of my darkest thoughts and tormenting me by constantly remininding me about them. And lo and behold, today at 4 AM I suddenly receive a notification, but instead of "you've got a new friend recommendation: xxx" it's "xxx has accepted your friend request". What? I swear to God I would be more likely to drink a pack of drain cleaner than approach him with a Facebook friend request after all these years and I seriously do not remember doing that and I haven't even been drinking in a while. I know that logically it was probably just a misclick when I was trying to make another "new friend recommendation" go away, but I prefer to think that this happened because Facebook was made by Satan, and that why Facebook app has a mind of it's own, reads my mind and messes with my head. I need to delete the app. And to perform exorcism on my cellphone afterwards.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
Where are people like me who just want to have fun and be silly and joke around? I'm looking at the lighter side of suicide. Not funny I know, that's the problem, it's just me.
 
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Amumu

Amumu

Enlightened
Joined
Aug 29, 2020
Messages
1,808
Meditation guide said:
Where are people like me who just want to have fun and be silly and joke around? I'm looking at the lighter side of suicide. Not funny I know, that's the problem, it's just me.
Welcome to the world of nihilism, you'll see it's amazing. Team Schopenhauer.

"The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on humankind."

Let's laugh at that nightmare together.
 
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Meditation guide

Meditation guide

Desire=half of life. Indifference=half of death.
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
4,840
 
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