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Mythyis001

Member
Feb 20, 2022
5
9/10 today. When I was young it always felt like I had to fight to die. Fight against my will to live. It didn't matter how depressed I was, there was always something in my head stopping me from fully committing to suicide. But now that I am older it is starting to become the opposite. Still very much depressed but now I have people depending upon me. People who wouldn't be able to survive without me. But the big difference is that I feel like I lost my will to survive. I now feel like I have to fight everyday to keep living and I don't know how much more fight I have left in me.
 
friendofbirds

friendofbirds

Member
Jun 6, 2022
50
probably about a 3 or 4. i have a rough plan in place but i have to decide a date and the particulars of it
 
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CursedSoul

CursedSoul

Cursed to stay, Cursed to Suffer...
Jun 4, 2022
69
10, all my life. i was at like 5 when my girlfriend was loving and caring, but now she i'snt lol, a shit, here we go again
 
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xo777

are we almost there?
Apr 5, 2022
132
9 I just really want to go now but I can’t because I promised someone I would visit and I don’t want them to feel bad or mad at me.
My boyfriend is still cheating. I want to go
 
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outatime_85

Student
May 17, 2022
181
Today I am at level 4. I am distracted for now.
I think I have to be more mindful of my depressive, negative, and suicidal thoughts, especially since the puzzle pieces for self-deletion are in place.
 
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Zegers

Student
Dec 15, 2021
167
September was the last time I was a bit lively, since then, 10. I don't feel good, I feel sick and with an injury that drains my energy, no friends and barely go outside and I don't see that I can feel good in the future. I don't think I want to start another year like this and hopefully never be a mediocre human ever again. The last few years have just gotten worse. My only illusion was to travel and it was broken in pieces, no hope, just inertia until I can leave.
 
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xo777

are we almost there?
Apr 5, 2022
132
10
I don’t want to be here anymore i’m so tired and nothing ever is getting better i’m just tired and i want to go really bad
I started self harming again i can’t do it anymore i don’t cRe about any promises i made to anyone i’m tired
 
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xo777

are we almost there?
Apr 5, 2022
132
10
I am leaving very soon and I am so excited lol
My suicidal thoughts are a 10 right now but my happiness is also a 10. I feel so at peace right now it’s numbing but I also feel kind of guilt for breaking my promise that I would hang out with this one person. I am so ready to see my twin again it’s going to be great I have not felt like a real person since he took his life I always copied him so this is no big surprise.
 
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honeybeebyebee

New Member
Sep 8, 2021
3
Feel like I’m a risky 9 today. I seriously might just go ahead over the weekend
 
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T

Tongicide

New Member
Oct 18, 2021
4
Around 4 I'd say. I'm feeling a bit better the past few days.
The thing is that sometimes it just shoots up to a solid 8 or 9 with no apparent trigger.
 
Graham

Graham

Student
May 28, 2022
148
Peak s at 10 a couple of weeks back starry over Beachy

About 3 now

Things due to happen think week which will push it back to 10 or hopefully go down

Fucked up times
 
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ImsooDone1N

ImsooDone1N

Arcanist
Nov 22, 2018
525
10/10 :( But things can (and do indeed get worse). As of this year things have been the most shaky, unstable, challenging, scary, and just the most awful time of my life. Being homeless & using drugs, I was not this depressed or hopeless. The worst is I have NO support irl, at all. Nothing, and I dont even have anyone online who i communicate w/ regularly. All of society seems to be ignoring me or just moved on and I get no incoming calls, no messages, nothing. Its really bad. Sleep is all I look forward to, aside from death. I never looked forward to death like I do now. It was always something that comforted me during difficult times- knowing this suffering will eventually end. But now Its actually something I'm ready for and welcome now. I cant enjoy anything except sleep. Tried to get help, but it seems out of reach. The help I am receiving is so poor, its almost like I'm not getting any help- sucks esp. because I do want the help now. But I cant function and everyone is sick and tired of me & just mad/fed up.