• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Visitor,

    In light of recent events, all community members in the US should reach out to their representative in regards to the Stop Online Suicide Assistance Forums Act that has been introduced in congress. This bill, if passed, could criminalize this community and hold it liable for simply hosting information.

    You should be able to locate and contact your represenative by going to this website. You can also contact Lori Trahan, the one spearheading this bill by calling her office at (202) 225-3411 or by leaving a message on the contact form on her site.

    One of the best ways to combat this is to make your voice heard. We're not political activists, but we made this notice to let you know that you do have a voice and that you do have representives that represent you in congress.
WinterIsComing

WinterIsComing

Fragile...
May 27, 2019
255
I'm a 26-year-old male from England; with the accent to prove it; fighting his way through recovery to avoid CTB. I've suffered a few setbacks recently, but I'm feeling stronger than before and I now feel as though I've got enough strength to share with someone else who is also on their recovery journey.

What can I say about me other than that I'm an oddball? I work in the film industry and part-time as a hypnotherapist specialising in the treatment of somatoform disorders; and functional nausea and vomiting. I'm a good listener and a very unjudgemental person; my clients are often people who have been labelled as attention seekers or lost-causes - all too often those are labels given out by bombastic therapists who rigidly fail to connect and thus 'blame the patient' to spare their own ego. So I think of myself as a good problem-solver, I'm willing to listen and provide a different perspective on things to help someone on their journey to recovery.

My hobbies are equally eccentric. I'm currently studying dreams and consciousness and have a mini sleep lab set-up conducting my own research. My friends quite frequently ask me to interpret their dreams for them and I've conducted nightmare therapy before, so if you're interested in any of that you might find it hard to shut me up. I love all different kinds of music and art - I'm rubbish at drawing (as you can see from my avatar) but I still try...

It would be really nice to have someone to chat with regularly about anything suicidal or non-suicidal, someone to joke with about the funny things that happen in our day; to get excited about our progress and achievements and remind one another of our strengths when we are feeling weak. Honestly, I will talk to just about anyone who can put up with me, but if there's anyone here in the UK, that's a bonus.

So if you haven't been completely bored out of your mind reading this post then firstly, wow; you have the patience of a saint! Secondly, feel free to send me a PM and perhaps we'll be a good fit for recovery partners; you never know, it could lead to us both getting a new friend for life :)
Oh I wanted to pm you ;_;
 
Somebody

Somebody

The Answer is 42
Feb 16, 2021
19
24M- Minnesota

Looking for a second chance at life. Recently lost someone close to me, and not sure if I can do this alone. I still want to recover. Maybe lightning will strike me twice. Who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyways, have a great day to whoever reads this.
 
S

Someonewhotypes

Member
Feb 15, 2021
24
Hi,

I'm a 25 yo girl from the eastern part of the EU. I've been self isolating for a year and thus I find myself reaching for people on the depths of the internet because I've constantly felt lonely. I'm not sure how I arrived here, as I'm not looking at suicide as an option (more like a fantasy), but the people on this forum seem really kind.
I'm also not actively into any sort of recovery besides regarding my physical health (which down-spiralled last year).
If anyone thinks that it would mutually benefit to talk/get a new friend, send me a message.
 
JusttryingtoDeal

JusttryingtoDeal

Member
Feb 21, 2021
9
48 M USA. Looking for someone to exchange recovery ideas as I am trying again with doctors and prescribed meds. I do not like therapists, strangers who share similar experiences are much more reliable!
 
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gus.nixon

gus.nixon

and now we rise and we are everywhere
Apr 19, 2020
309
49 yo male here from U.S. Just trying to change my perspective. I've been seriously suicidal since last April and I think about it every day.
 
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throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,446
19 male Europe
message me and we can chat on discord or something.
I am absolutely destroyed but still trying to recover every single day.
I want to talk about the weirdness of life and death and it'll mostly just be CTB talk.
 
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L

luten

work, love, and learn
Feb 25, 2021
507
hi there, i am a 37 yr old male, from the west side , respekct! :smiling:. I have dealt with major issues in my life from an early age on, including childhood abuse, and witnessing two suicide attempts. I was also born with neurosurgical issues, which required ongoing surgery, but now there is nothing more that drs can do for me, except for prescribing medications. Lost my mother at a relatively young age due to cancer.

I have to continue to live my life, and in a productive manner, in pain, accepting my circumstances, or I could give-up. I feel it is inappropriate for me to commit suicide as I have been living under these circumstances for 37 years, yet it is a struggle, a day to day struggle. My future looks rather grim, but there is not much that I can do about it, except for doing my part. I have never tried to commit suicide before. I do not do illegal drugs, i don't smoke.

I love traveling (too much), music. My biggest love is for animals. I don't like complaining too much, as I feel that negativity leads to nothing but negativity. I really need to focus on survival. Maybe you can relate, maybe you also trying to make the best of your life, enjoying the little things. Maybe you want to connect, maybe not.
 
gus.nixon

gus.nixon

and now we rise and we are everywhere
Apr 19, 2020
309
Wish this thread was more active. I've met a lot of great people here and it's made me realize that we're all basically the same when we get to the point where death seems like the only option left. Some days I have no hope and I feel overwhelmed by life. Today I feel ok and I feel some hope so here I am again in the recovery partners thread. It would be great to develop a whole network for ourselves with suicide recovery being our main goal. A safe place where we can all devote our time to lifting each other up and listening and relating. I really do love you all.
 
K

KolK

Member
Nov 29, 2020
86
30s, Singapore.
I wish I get a little more support.
 
NeverSatisfied

NeverSatisfied

Experienced
Dec 28, 2020
225
22 yo US female. Looking for someone to talk to to be an active recovery partner with. I think sharing our traumas and past experiences is helpful and I also want someone I can talk to day-by-day and see how we're improving as we keep trucking along. There will be highs and lows for both of us and I accept that no matter how deep the rut gets or how long it goes on for- we'll get out of there. Basically, looking for someone active in their recovery to talk to about both past and progress.
 
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deadinsideforever

deadinsideforever

Member
Mar 31, 2021
30
45 non binary, UK trying desperately to want to be alive. Don’t mind any gender or age. Would love to find a friend
Have PTSD, medication resistant depression with manic episodes, fibromyalgia, arthritis and CFS. But I am also a brilliant listener!
 
Enabran255

Enabran255

Numbed
Oct 2, 2019
99
41 year old guy in the US.

I've been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for at least the last decade, kicked off by some brutal bullying in college that destroyed my life. These feelings have gotten worse in recent years, ever since I lost a close friend of mine in 2019. I knew her for several years, it was a painful experience of getting very close and then seeing things inexorably deteriorate over the last handful of years. The life situation my chronic long term depression had placed me in made me powerless to change anything or prevent our drifting apart.

In the time since she passed, I've made a few attempts at recovery but they haven't succeeded. These suffocating lockdowns going on all over the world have made it very difficult to meet new people and make friends. The thing I struggle the most with these days is the pronounced feeling of isolation and loneliness, which leads to bouts of sharp despair that bring me to the verge of tears.

It would be nice to make some new friends with shared interests, who are accepting and can empathize with the darker feelings of life I mentioned above. I am an emotional/empathic person and am good with supporting close/trusted friends in those areas.

As for my interests, I've watched a ton of anime over the years and still do, I probably qualify as a weeb. I used to game a lot, I haven't as much lately but in the past I played various titles like Stardew Valley, Splatoon, most of the Zeldas including botw, Terraria, and jrpgs. Some other things I'm into are programming, reading (mostly VNs in recent years) and music.
 
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S

sm20

Student
May 5, 2021
132
21M USA I had depression before my chronic health issues but now my depression is basically only about my health. I won't be able to say too much for the first few months because I'm sensitive to noise from hearing damage, and that needs a few more months to heal before the noise of typing doesn't bother me. I always assumed I'd kill myself so I always listened to music at max volumee not caring that I was hurting my ears. I now have tinnitus, a permanent ringing in my ears, hyperacusis, sensitivity to noise, tendinitis, wrist/finger inflammation problems from overexercising and that's about it. Balding too but I've given up on the idea of my appearance mattering since I can't exercise anymore. I should only have good news to share as the months go by and my hyperacusis and tendinitis improve, and once a cure for tinnitus/hyperacusis comes out.

My original reasons for depression was loneliness which I was somewhat able to overcome so I might have advise on that. Again I won't say much for the first few months but I can't commit suicide for a few months so I have no choice but to wait and see how I recover. Getting better is inevitable for me it's just a question of if it's worth the wait.
 
mochi_

mochi_

Member
Nov 30, 2020
7
34F in SoCal.

Fighting complex PTSD, depression, agoraphobia (anxiety), OCD.

I want friends to talk to, hang out with and also share recovery life experiences with, such as skydiving and scuba diving. I’m thinking of eventually getting a diving certificate. It’d be really nice to have someone who is also interested in diving (sky or the ocean, or even better, BOTH!).

Looking for a friend or even a GROUP of us so we can all just be there for each other. Group chat, meet, chill, eat, and be adventurous. Anyone outside of SoCal can also join us, we can do online movie nights, game together (Steam, PS), etc.

Open to all ages and gender. Let’s just be kind to each other and age and distance are not an issue.

What do you think?

Oh, and I really wanna go to the Immersive Van Gogh exhibit in LA, maybe October. I know it’s months away but I wanna go with someone, is possible. Would love to meet someone to get to know better till then and maybe we can go together (:
 
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glad it’s night

glad it’s night

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…
Apr 19, 2021
44
34F in SoCal.

Fighting complex PTSD, depression, agoraphobia (anxiety), OCD.

I want friends to talk to, hang out with and also share recovery life experiences with, such as skydiving and scuba diving. I’m thinking of eventually getting a diving certificate. It’d be really nice to have someone who is also interested in diving (sky or the ocean, or even better, BOTH!).

Looking for a friend or even a GROUP of us so we can all just be there for each other. Group chat, meet, chill, eat, and be adventurous. Anyone outside of SoCal can also join us, we can do online movie nights, game together (Steam, PS), etc.

Open to all ages and gender. Let’s just be kind to each other and age and distance are not an issue.

What do you think?

Oh, and I really wanna go to the Immersive Van Gogh exhibit in LA, maybe October. I know it’s months away but I wanna go with someone, is possible. Would love to meet someone to get to know better till then and maybe we can go together (:
I'm 35 M living in SoCal
Dealing with depression, anhedonia

I took a scuba diving course in the Canary islands with my brother about 3 years ago. It was winter so the wildlife was not very active. I'd like to do scuba again. Would definitely need a refresher on using the gear and safety practices (plus my cert is probably expired). Also interested in trying skydiving.

The Van Gogh exhibit sounds cool. Is it at LACMA? I saw starry night and his self portrait in two different museums when I went to NYC. I liked the movie biography about him that was released a few years ago, did you see it?

Send a message if you'd like to chat
 
listeningpost1379

listeningpost1379

enduring winter
Apr 20, 2019
94
I'm a 28yo (29 in a few months) female expat in Australia. I am in a bad place mentally but really want to get better. In the past 1-2 years I have lost contact with all my friends so I'd love a friend to talk to. I'm looking for another woman, if you are in Aus we can even meet up for coffee or boba some time, if not no problem we can just chat. My energy level is abysmal but I love to listen to others and will try to talk.
 
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jellybelly4

jellybelly4

Member
Apr 23, 2019
21
I'm a 28yo (29 in a few months) female expat in Australia. I am in a bad place mentally but really want to get better. In the past 1-2 years I have lost contact with all my friends so I'd love a friend to talk to. I'm looking for another woman, if you are in Aus we can even meet up for coffee or boba some time, if not no problem we can just chat. My energy level is abysmal but I love to listen to others and will try to talk.
Hi there I would love to chat. I am a woman (24) but I live in the States.
 
Tav

Tav

Member
Apr 20, 2018
39
25M from Eastern Europe suffering from anhedonia, apathy, autism, and despite not being able to really have a friendship I am very lonely and would want some kind of friend/connection. I have almost nothing to say,(no interests, no hobbies, no motivation) so it would be nice to talk to someone who can relate/understand and support each other .
 
jellybelly4

jellybelly4

Member
Apr 23, 2019
21
24 female the south, United States. I’ve tried to recover but realized I need to make connections in order to keep myself here. I have been having trouble finding a ctb partner and had been going to therapy. I want to give it one last go before I gogo. I never have any luck in finding good chatmates but this site has made me at least feel safe and at home.
 
unperson

unperson

nontitle
May 8, 2021
120
So I'm looking for some conversation , but I'm not the most reliable person and don't want any pressure or expectations. So if you want to chat and are ok with the possibility that I will ghost the conversation, not on purpose, but because I'm very disorganized n shit, then send a pm. I'm basically a squirel, no one can predict the path lol... what else, uh 30 m, the us. ctb is kinda up in the air and years out if it happens, so i'll probably exist for a while whether i'm on the site or not. i like to talk about mental health stuff and know quite a bit, but not formally educated or anything like that.
 
S like suicide

S like suicide

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,240
Hello everybody:) I signed up on this site more than two months ago with the clear intention of finding a ctb partner and dying.I have been suffering from severe depression for many years and it has evolved over time to take it all away.I have attempted suicide several times during this year and last month I found my ctb partner and we have put in action our plan but we are still alive because he in front of death has found hope and changed his mind and me...well i have not succeeded to kill myself even though I had the chance to do it twice with sure death(don't ask me why,because I still don't understand why I failed...why i didn't do it).Three weeks ago I got out of my deep despair and I'm thinking that I could give my life another chance just because i'm not even able to kill me.So it's not like I'm really in recovery because I'm very unstable and I often struggle with suicidal thoughts and I feel lost,sad and trapped.But i would like to give it a try...I have no one to rely on ... or rather I have a family that I hate and makes me suffer a lot (I don't talk to them but unfortunately I depend on them financially),i don't have a life basically,it's a lot of time that i'm out of society.thanks to ss every now and then I exchange a few words with some members or former members on some social network and this has helped me a lot and helps me but they are few messages every now and then.I would really like to be able to make connections with someone maybe become friends because I feel the loneliest person in the universe and really loneliness is cruelly torturing and killing me I would like someone to chat with ... talk about anything, maybe support us each other.I am a listening and tolerant person ... I don't think I'm very interesting though.I'm 27 / F from Italy...It would also be nice to meet and maybe hang out together but it seems difficult ... maybe there is some Italian who is looking for a friend?I have been unlucky with chatmates before...i hope now i could find someone that is looking for the same thing,someone to talk and support each other.So...please Pm me.we can chat here on SS on on discord if you like.Thank you
 
R

reasonablylost

Member
Jul 18, 2021
34
28M Portugal

Hi folks. These last two years have been particularly hard but I'm willing to go on and I think I would benefit from having a mutually supportive partner.

I'm currently stuck and trying to figure out where to turn to. My only victory these last two years has been losing a lot of weight but I'm not done. If anyone wants to give me some pointers on weight lifting that would be great. I enjoy music a lot and I watch too many comedy podcasts. I play guitar sometimes, but to be honest I have stopped feeling joy from it.

I don't know what more to say, just that It would be nice to get at least one response. Thanks!
 
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