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S

S like suicide

Arcanist
Joined
Apr 29, 2021
Messages
439
Hello everybody:) I signed up on this site more than two months ago with the clear intention of finding a ctb partner and dying.I have been suffering from severe depression for many years and it has evolved over time to take it all away.I have attempted suicide several times during this year and last month I found my ctb partner and we have put in action our plan but we are still alive because he in front of death has found hope and changed his mind and me...well i have not succeeded to kill myself even though I had the chance to do it twice with sure death(don't ask me why,because I still don't understand why I failed...why i didn't do it).Three weeks ago I got out of my deep despair and I'm thinking that I could give my life another chance just because i'm not even able to kill me.So it's not like I'm really in recovery because I'm very unstable and I often struggle with suicidal thoughts and I feel lost,sad and trapped.But i would like to give it a try...I have no one to rely on ... or rather I have a family that I hate and makes me suffer a lot (I don't talk to them but unfortunately I depend on them financially),i don't have a life basically,it's a lot of time that i'm out of society.thanks to ss every now and then I exchange a few words with some members or former members on some social network and this has helped me a lot and helps me but they are few messages every now and then.I would really like to be able to make connections with someone maybe become friends because I feel the loneliest person in the universe and really loneliness is cruelly torturing and killing me I would like someone to chat with ... talk about anything, maybe support us each other.I am a listening and tolerant person ... I don't think I'm very interesting though.I'm 27 / F from Italy...It would also be nice to meet and maybe hang out together but it seems difficult ... maybe there is some Italian who is looking for a friend?I have been unlucky with chatmates before...i hope now i could find someone that is looking for the same thing,someone to talk and support each other.So...please Pm me.we can chat here on SS on on discord if you like.Thank you
 
R

reasonablylost

Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
34
28M Portugal

Hi folks. These last two years have been particularly hard but I'm willing to go on and I think I would benefit from having a mutually supportive partner.

I'm currently stuck and trying to figure out where to turn to. My only victory these last two years has been losing a lot of weight but I'm not done. If anyone wants to give me some pointers on weight lifting that would be great. I enjoy music a lot and I watch too many comedy podcasts. I play guitar sometimes, but to be honest I have stopped feeling joy from it.

I don't know what more to say, just that It would be nice to get at least one response. Thanks!
 
Last edited:
H

HanginAround

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2019
Messages
22
32 year-old male, in Florida, USA ....

I used to waiver in-and-out of suicidality on a daily basis. Now, it only comes every so often, like, with a few months in between.

I'd like to talk with someone about these things who has also gone through suicidal ideations or attempts like I have in the past. I'm still trying to recovery, it's a never ending thing.
 
nopointofliving

nopointofliving

Warrior
Joined
Apr 19, 2021
Messages
436
S like suicide said:
Hello everybody:) I signed up on this site more than two months ago with the clear intention of finding a ctb partner and dying.I have been suffering from severe depression for many years and it has evolved over time to take it all away.I have attempted suicide several times during this year and last month I found my ctb partner and we have put in action our plan but we are still alive because he in front of death has found hope and changed his mind and me...well i have not succeeded to kill myself even though I had the chance to do it twice with sure death(don't ask me why,because I still don't understand why I failed...why i didn't do it).Three weeks ago I got out of my deep despair and I'm thinking that I could give my life another chance just because i'm not even able to kill me.So it's not like I'm really in recovery because I'm very unstable and I often struggle with suicidal thoughts and I feel lost,sad and trapped.But i would like to give it a try...I have no one to rely on ... or rather I have a family that I hate and makes me suffer a lot (I don't talk to them but unfortunately I depend on them financially),i don't have a life basically,it's a lot of time that i'm out of society.thanks to ss every now and then I exchange a few words with some members or former members on some social network and this has helped me a lot and helps me but they are few messages every now and then.I would really like to be able to make connections with someone maybe become friends because I feel the loneliest person in the universe and really loneliness is cruelly torturing and killing me I would like someone to chat with ... talk about anything, maybe support us each other.I am a listening and tolerant person ... I don't think I'm very interesting though.I'm 27 / F from Italy...It would also be nice to meet and maybe hang out together but it seems difficult ... maybe there is some Italian who is looking for a friend?I have been unlucky with chatmates before...i hope now i could find someone that is looking for the same thing,someone to talk and support each other.So...please Pm me.we can chat here on SS on on discord if you like.Thank you
Can I apply for your friendship and sistership again :) Love you sister... all the best! <3
 
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S

S like suicide

Arcanist
Joined
Apr 29, 2021
Messages
439
nopointofliving said:
Can I apply for your friendship and sistership again :) Love you sister... all the best! <3
Oh...this is so sweet!<3 thank you my dear<3<3<3
 
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