• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Visitor,

    In light of recent events, all community members in the US should reach out to their representative in regards to the Stop Online Suicide Assistance Forums Act that has been introduced in congress. This bill, if passed, could criminalize this community and hold it liable for simply hosting information.

    You should be able to locate and contact your represenative by going to this website. You can also contact Lori Trahan, the one spearheading this bill by calling her office at (202) 225-3411 or by leaving a message on the contact form on her site.

    One of the best ways to combat this is to make your voice heard. We're not political activists, but we made this notice to let you know that you do have a voice and that you do have representives that represent you in congress.
ncmxm

ncmxm

Student
Jun 9, 2021
182
25f, Eastern Europe

Hi, I'm not sure if I want to or if I even can recover in the sense that I never get depressed or suicidal again, but I think I want to feel less bad

A little bit about myself. I've been depressed for years so for years I didn't have any interests and I've just recently started trying to find things I like. Rn I'm learning Italian and I'm also learning to draw. I like drama movies and I watch anime sometimes. I also like going on walks in nature and I like reading, and I'm interested in mythology and the history of religion.

I'd be happy to learn about your interests or to just listen to you talk about things you like :)

And please don't message me if you want children or have children, it's a sensitive topic for me and I'd prefer to talk to someone who is on the same page as me
 
Y

YC&^93qoVF*e

Member
May 17, 2022
19
25f, Eastern Europe

Hi, I'm not sure if I want to or if I even can recover in the sense that I never get depressed or suicidal again, but I think I want to feel less bad

A little bit about myself. I've been depressed for years so for years I didn't have any interests and I've just recently started trying to find things I like. Rn I'm learning Italian and I'm also learning to draw. I like drama movies and I watch anime sometimes. I also like going on walks in nature and I like reading, and I'm interested in mythology and the history of religion.

I'd be happy to learn about your interests or to just listen to you talk about things you like :)

And please don't message me if you want children or have children, it's a sensitive topic for me and I'd prefer to talk to someone who is on the same page as me
Hello, new here. looking for someone to talk with. 25m. i coulnt figure out how to dm people so someone dm me instead? im kinda paranoid. so dont ask me to add on any social media thats not anonymous.

i have a lot of interests. in fact, most things are interesting for me. and i can listen to your struggles as long as you dont overwhelm me
 
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ncmxm

ncmxm

Student
Jun 9, 2021
182
Hello, new here. looking for someone to talk with. 25m. i coulnt figure out how to dm people so someone dm me instead? im kinda paranoid. so dont ask me to add on any social media thats not anonymous.

i have a lot of interests. in fact, most things are interesting for me. and i can listen to your struggles as long as you dont overwhelm me

I can't message you, I think you need to make more posts before you can send and receive messages
 
Untetheredwill

Untetheredwill

Speedrunning life using cosmic tricks
Nov 28, 2021
39
I’m available to find new people and looking for someone to talk to or listen to. If not no worries.
 
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Trilucid

Trilucid

Member
May 25, 2022
59
25f, Eastern Europe

Hi, I'm not sure if I want to or if I even can recover in the sense that I never get depressed or suicidal again, but I think I want to feel less bad

A little bit about myself. I've been depressed for years so for years I didn't have any interests and I've just recently started trying to find things I like. Rn I'm learning Italian and I'm also learning to draw. I like drama movies and I watch anime sometimes. I also like going on walks in nature and I like reading, and I'm interested in mythology and the history of religion.

I'd be happy to learn about your interests or to just listen to you talk about things you like :)

And please don't message me if you want children or have children, it's a sensitive topic for me and I'd prefer to talk to someone who is on the same page as me
Hello! I was wondering if I could talk to someone who is also from Eastern Europe. And no worries, the children thing has never been a priority to me and I am a bit against it to be honest.
 
novem

novem

Student
May 9, 2022
143
Hi, i feel so lonely lately that i decided to give this a try.
i'm 39m gay in CA, not ugly but already used a bit. i am interested in different cultures, ux/ui design, programming.
my favorite movies are by Almodovar, recently was watching the Family guy cartoon, i like its humor.
I know that this is probably a wrong place to meet people but i dont know what i dont know.
I plan on recovering from a couple of injuries had several surgeries recently but the pain is not gone completely.
its just i have almost nobody to talk to. I feel like drowning in alcohol is not the best idea. Pls dm me if you want to talk.
 
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Seaghost

Seaghost

Experienced
Apr 14, 2019
231
39m, North-Germany - don't know if that's important.
Don't know if recovery is the right word but ctb is at the moment not tangible - right now its a fight against the lonliness but you all know things can change...
Would prefer german language cause when I'm exausted I'm not able to translate - sorry :/
Could happen I'm not able to answer some times - so don't get me wrong

Not a prerequeiste but maybe helpful - things I like:
- Rock/Hardrock/Glamrock/Bombastrock usually the old things, a lil bit of (dark)country, Songwriter, lil bit of classic, Erste allgemeine Verunsicherung, sometimes
Alligatoah
- philosophy
- cooking/baking
- reading
- cocktails
- gaming
- spirituality
 
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IWillSmileWhenIDie

IWillSmileWhenIDie

Student
Jun 1, 2022
125
Hey there :)), I'm honestly not even trying to 'recover' for now, these days I'm thinking a lot more about suicide than before, that's how I found this place. Right now I'm just in the situation a lot of you people prob are too wishing to have a method to die the closest possible as if just closing a window or turning off the lights, not even wishing to die right now just wanna die whenever the fuck I want. Feel free to chat me up guys, just know that I'm not sure if I will be able to answer you I'll try tho. I hope we can give support to each other and personally live life in a more satisfyin way till I/We can and decide to die. I'm 25 btw.
 
Well-Edited Chaos

Well-Edited Chaos

Member
May 8, 2022
178
52F, Western Canada

I'd actually like to find an accountability partner, someone who is working on their own challenges, and the support flows both ways. We would check in w/ each other before tackling something we find challenging (to talk about what's challenging and brainstorm about how to overcome it), then check in when it's done, and talk about what it was like to do it (or not).
 
Alyra

Alyra

Member
May 31, 2022
16
29/F/UK

Looking for someone to chat to while trying to recover after an attempt. Being stuck mentally between suicidal thoughts and wanting to live is complex. I'm far from the best version of myself, but I've decided I definitely want to try and improve my situation.

I'm on medication and trying therapy again. As I currently have no friends and hardly go out, it would be nice to have someone to talk to other than my therapist.
 
sourokraandfish

sourokraandfish

Member
Apr 3, 2022
37
19F, SEA (going back to the US soon)

I'm definitely not there yet, but I'm working on it. I do have goals I want to achieve so I'm trying not to submit to my thoughts and depressive feelings and just kms. I'm looking for someone (preferably of similar age) to talk to and willing to support and keep each other accountable for our goals and challenges.


A little bit about me:
I've been depressed and struggling with fluctuating intense emotions for years now. It is debilitating and basically destroyed my work and social life. I'm going to college this fall and it's probably the largest opportunity to redo I have ever been given. I'm extremely anxious thinking about it.

Recently I've been trying to add more structure to my life (like going to the gym, exploring my interests, improving my academic/cognitive skills,...) I like to watch movies/anime (esp horror), commentary/video essays videos on youtube, and read. Though I would love to learn about your interests or listen to anything you have to say even trivial mundane things :)
 
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Shahir

Shahir

the biggest salvation would be never being born
Apr 15, 2022
8
do u guys think it would be ideal for people to be able to commune with people from around where they are? for me, the problems i face, if i could meet with some alike minded people from where i am, i think it would potentially help me a lot to the extent of even rethinking about ending it all.. after all, human connection can do magic.

i think for most of us, we are really stuck in a position where we feel tremendously lonely and misunderstood and thus see ourselves better off not existing. but could that not change given proper and similar minded human contact from our locality?

as for me, im an Ex-muslim living in a hugely muslim dominant South-East Asian region. during my journey to be becoming an ex-muslim I've gone through many traumatic experiences and eventually it left me with the realization of the wasted past few decades of my life and most of the people i got to know throughout my life, all led to dead ends, including my 4years relationship with this extremely pious hijabi girl whom i had given all of my heart, eventually even in the "fiance" phase just to be abandoned by her for my apostasy and shortly after her marrying some other pious bloke(as i could not and cannot be my present own self around them anymore, which is an extremely agonizing lonely feeling extinguishing any will to live at all).

i doubt i can ever build any more relationship with anyone with a similar mentality to mine as they are rare in these parts and it breaks my heart. on top of that, being an INTP makes it more so difficult to actually seek any help at all(I'm not ill, do not need therapists, i need ordinary human beings in my life that are considerate, okay and accepting to just as who i am -and thats far from a possibility given my overall surrounding.

so i was thinking, most of us in this site are broken in some way or the other. and most of us are somewhere deep within in search of a salvation in vain. would it hurt to explore the possibility nonetheless? I'm sure there are people around from where i am some of which have their own stories and many of us could have a chance to potentially live a happy life with troubled individuals feeling lost i the facade of "normality".

no one really want to end their existence. situations force us to want to not exist FB IMG 1654852007064 FB IMG 1655123590845
 
O

Onomotopoeia

Experienced
Feb 8, 2019
263
40m/1.5 outside of NYC. I'm sure recovery does not suit me but neither does being suicidal. So, here I am just looking to kill some time (all the time) from now until whenever the end might be.

I have tried this before without much success but new day I guess. So, just looking for someone to chat with. Local(ish) would be awesome really but i'm good with connecting online.

I was a nerd before it was cool love all things horror, sci-fi, and mind bendy. I'm not real sure what i'm looking for but I will respond to all and just see where it goes.
 
A

alegriayamor

Member
Jun 29, 2022
10
Hi,
54 male from Austria.
Looking for methods.
Anyone has serious possibilty to get N or SN? Seems not possible here in Austria.
 
K

Klophy

Student
Jun 28, 2022
154
Hello,
29m from the UK

I do want to get better, but i don't think i have the energy or ability to do it. Suffering from depression, anxiety, panic attacks, maladaptive daydreaming and other things.

Just looking for someone to talk to whether it be about methods or anything.
 
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sickofbeinghere

sickofbeinghere

sad girl
Oct 27, 2021
56
24f from england. would love to chat with somebody.. I have CPTSD, Dissociative Disorder, recurrent depression, slightly agoraphobic, suspected ADHD & Im also physically disabled.

I sing professionally, make art, like going to the gym (when i'm more mentally well, been finding it hard recently..) and Im kinda nerdy/techy :) would love somebody to chat with who's interested in uplifting & supporting each other with our mental health.

ideally id love to talk with another trauma survivor, hopefully another woman but I am really open to anybody, who struggles with emotional disregulation and emotional flashbacks. would love to have convos about how we can better ourselves when it comes to expressing frustration! thank you ! i know everyone's situation is different, and if you don't fit these descriptions it's ok. would just love a friend to chat with. but please be recovery-focused! i think i would find it too hard to be talking w somebody who's resigned to seeking out suicide methods and ending their life.. im trying to get into a better head-space myself
 
L

Lautronjay

New Member
Jun 24, 2022
4
29m US
I do some self improvement stuff which can be motivating but I get really really low.
29m US
I do some self improvement stuff which can be motivating but I get really really low.
 
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Ethereal Knight

Ethereal Knight

Seja um bom soldado, morra onde você caiu.
Jan 10, 2022
824
Brazil, 28 years old, male.

speaking portuguese:

Brasil, interior de Minas Gerais, 28 anos de idade, homem.

não procuro um parceiro de "recuperação", porque não tenho interesse em me "recuperar", mas procuro alguém pra curtir a vida junto comigo, fazermos companhia um ao outro enquanto eu ainda estou vivo. suporte mútuo, sinceridade, autenticidade e companheirismo.

meu CTB será ou no final desse ano (2022) ou no fim do ano que vem, mais provavelmente. se ocorrerem circunstâncias especiais, eu poderia talvez adiar meu CTB pra daqui uns 5 anos, mas isso é improvável de acontecer. o mais provável é que eu CTB em 2023 ou antes.

tenho todo o tempo-livre do mundo, mas não tenho dinheiro pra nada, nem pra viajar.

qualquer gênero serve como parceiro. porém eu tenho mais facilidade em lidar com mulheres, devido a traumas do passado e ao "pai" horrível que me criou, minha dificuldade de confiar em outros homens é grande e inata a mim, mas nada é impossível também.

virtualmente, podemos dar "rolê" no Discord ou no Skype.

pessoalmente, podemos fazer qualquer coisa.
quase qualquer. não uso drogas "pesadas", mas maconha é sempre bem-vinda. apesar de estar fora de forma atualmente, pratico alguns esportes como ciclismo e caminhada.
sou uma pessoa bastante tediosa, mas com o tempo é sempre possível encontrar algo pra fazer.

mesmo tendo tido muitas decepções com humanos no passado e passando alguns anos me isolando, sou um ser naturalmente sociável, e a minha minha natureza social permanece acesa em mim, como sempre foi.

se eu encontrasse uma namorada, eu adiaria um pouco a minha data de CTB (embora eu vá CTB de qualquer forma, independentemente deste ou de qualquer outro fator).

mas hoje em dia, como vivo socialmente isolado e sem amigos, qualquer contato de qualidade com um humano de bom-coração, que eu possa confiar, seria realmente um milagre.
 
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DefyingGravity

DefyingGravity

Just an exhausted guy in his 20's
Apr 29, 2021
16
M 20 (almost 21)
Somewhere in Asia
UTC +8:00

Trapped in an extremely conservative Christian household despite being in Asia bc my dad used to live in Florida lol. We can get to know each other more as time goes on if you want. Mainly just looking for someone I can vent to whenever I need to blow off steam. I'm a good listener as well :).

Most people would probably CTB in my shoes, I even tried to in my teen years. Now I'm at my lowest point and my SI is as strong as ever. I just can't seem to give up no matter how much I want to. So I guess I'll just focus on recovery.

I'm an artist. It's my main source of income. Idk just thought I'd say one fact about me as an icebreaker. Oh and I'm gay lol. In case any of you wanna bond over our homophobic families together. Hope to hear from someone on here soon :')
 
mugiusagi

mugiusagi

One step at a time
Jul 19, 2022
9
20 m CST
I think suicide is the kind of topic that has been on my mind now for a while but I think there is definitely some hope to not CTB yet, that’s what I want to believe.

I hope we can get along well and enjoy venting and listening to each other. I hang out here a lot but I prefer to talk privately on other places too (like telegram)

I do not care much if u r F or M, I think we all need someone regardless of that, so as long as we are close in terms of age it should be ok ( although I don’t care much about it)
 
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DefyingGravity

DefyingGravity

Just an exhausted guy in his 20's
Apr 29, 2021
16
20 m CST
I think suicide is the kind of topic that has been on my mind now for a while but I think there is definitely some hope to not CTB yet, that’s what I want to believe.

I hope we can get along well and enjoy venting and listening to each other. I hang out here a lot but I prefer to talk privately on other places too (like telegram)

I do not care much if u r F or M, I think we all need someone regardless of that, so as long as we are close in terms of age it should be ok ( although I don’t care much about it)
Heyy 20 M here as well. Would live to chat :))
 
K

korean

Member
Jul 20, 2022
21
Hello, I am Korean and 40 years old female. To be honest, I still have a lot of thoughts about death. I have no family, no work, but can have supportive conversations with each other. The messenger I use is Telegram.

Please contact only women. Even if I write like this, there were too many cases where men just contacted me as a friend (even though I'm old.. I've had so much experiences like this) Please... that's killing me even more. Please don't contact lesbians too. This is only for a strict platonic, supportive relationship..
 
T

timetosleep

Member
Feb 19, 2019
37
32M (gay), Norway

Hi, I am trying my best to recover; however, suicide thoughts are coming back. I have done a lot of therapy, so I am at a much better place. Right now, I am struggling to find work. I got discriminated a lot because of my skin color. It's hard to fight and continue to move forward sometimes. I would like to find a few recovery partners who could encourage one another to continue fighting and move forward in life. Please send me a message or chat.
 
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S

Spyro24

Member
Jun 24, 2022
67
22M from Belgium. Trying to find a friend or maybe more that will listen to me and possibly comfort me. I am always open to listening to your stories as well, no matter how extreme and I will try to support you whenever possible. Trying my hardest to fight but I'm all alone with no one to talk or vent to and it's putting an insane amount of pressure on me.
 
Monique696

Monique696

Member
Aug 31, 2021
41
31f from Germany
Hi everyone
I'm currently between struggling and trying to find myself. Married and "stabelish" these days. Except for ptsd and some minor mental issues thanks to a decade of child abuse.
Looking for a pen pal preferably female who knows what it feels like.
I've had made a friend here before but she died last year thanks to assisted suicide.
I am still mourning her and miss her. But sometimes our bodies are simply no good. When the pain gets too intense and the pleasures too few.
Anyhow don't want to depress anyone here 😅
It's 3am in Germany and I am beat for today. Maybe we could chat one day.
Who knows.
 
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FML_

FML_

-
Jun 26, 2022
48
20 / M / Europe

I just wanted to see if there's someone here that's in a similar situation as me. I still want to recover before I go through with my CTB, there's so much things I still have to set right. Living life, meeting people, experiencing new things... God, I can't just leave like this.

I have so much problems but there's gotta be a way out. I just don't know where to find it

So... If you have a similar mindset, maybe we can work together? Exchange thoughts, motivate each other, hold each other accountable. Something like that. Send me a pm if you're down
 
Kind enby

Kind enby

Member
Aug 2, 2022
5
24, non binary, México.

I'm not very good at replying fast, but I'm new here so while I'm still excited about this site will probably respond often.

I don't love talking about myself but find it really comforting to help and listen so my inbox will be open for anyone who wants to chat or vent.

I really enjoy meeting new people so don't be shy to message me :)
 
E

Evva

Numb
Sep 18, 2019
24
21 | F | Ger

Hey, I truly want to give this life another chance and I've been working hard on myself to become a more stable person. It's not always easy and lately I started to feel extremely lonely. So, I am looking for a European chat-partner to help each other out.

My depression and my impulsive, self-destructive personality make it hard for me to have a stable life. I also do have a chronical pain condition that's running my life, yet I do want to believe in a life in which I don't think about cbt every day.

Feel free to pm me.