Lauriso

Lauriso

Member
Jul 26, 2022
58
Do you think romantic love could help you feel less suicidal? I realized I dream about it almost every night. I cry when I hear touching songs about true devotion.

I've been in love, dated and had sex with girls in the past, but it never developed into a real relationship. I know it comes with its own hurdles, but I believe the happiness it can bring is worth it. I'm 37 and it makes me sad I've never experienced true love.
 
Caterpillar

Caterpillar

Slick n' Slim
Aug 1, 2022
21
Yeah i know how you feel, i was asking my therapist a very similar question. He expressed to me, that love, and a relationship, a well maintained relationship can honestly be a huge encouragement and a reason to live yes, but he compared it to table of legs. Its like you have a table, and that's your life and each leg of a table is a reason to live. And when one leg breaks the other legs will be able to support you. The thing that is hard when you're suicidal and in a relationship, like myself, is that you put all of your will to live on that one leg. And ofcourse it can be something, something but because of the pressure on that one leg, you could be very very stressed of what happens when any arguments and clashes happen, you'll be terrified they will leave, and your one and only leg will break. But that doesn't mean you can't be in love and love someone while learning to love yourself. That's a myth that you can only love when you come to yourself. But unless you try to actively learn to take care of your self you might hurt the person you love.
I know this in my own personal experience. I love someone, but i know he's my only thread of will to live. So i decided that i wanted to get more leg tables to to speak to be able to love him better. I know it's tough, so the answer is yes i think so, just with some conditions almost. I really hope you heart finds some peace and soothingness, and I'm sure someone would really love you with all your baggage.
 
Funeralprincess

Funeralprincess

Death never turned on me
May 8, 2022
235
Do you think romantic love could help you feel less suicidal? I realized I dream about it almost every night. I cry when I hear touching songs about true devotion.

I've been in love, dated and had sex with girls in the past, but it never developed into a real relationship. I know it comes with its own hurdles, but I believe the happiness it can bring is worth it. I'm 37 and it makes me sad I've never experienced true love.


Yep. I had the best man (met all of my standards) and I felt for once in my life not suicidal at all. He then basically couldn’t be with me because of my bipolar, but tried to make up other reasons for why he couldn’t try again after leading me to believe we would.

I’m now more suicidal than ive ever been and I still love him the same four years later. The thing is, once you lose that true love, your suicidal thoughts will worsen so while it’s sad to never have it, it’s worse when you have it and you then lose it because you’re too sick to be loved in the best ways. You’ll then be alone forever
 
rainwillneverstop

rainwillneverstop

Serious health hazard
Jul 12, 2022
103
No.
If anything it will be a temporarily illusion, the honey moon will be over.
One most be repaired before entering a relationship, or it will be the death of it in the long run.

Love is a loser's game.
 
Ethereal Knight

Ethereal Knight

Looking for the eternal night 🌕
Jan 10, 2022
701
it’s worse when you have it and you then lose it
exactly my experience. I wish I was MGTOW / volcel all along. if I could go back in time I'd not look for anyone, I'd instead focus my time and mental energy on lifting weights, learning and making money.

looking at the state of partnerships nowadays it would be a short term relief at best.
If anything it will be a temporarily illusion, the honey moon will be over.
One most be repaired before entering a relationship, or it will be the death of it in the long run.

Love is a loser's game.
I love these comments, because they are a breath of rationality, on a theme that tends to be taken by emotionality.

if we look around, people are divorcing, breaking up, and the ones that are still together are fighting and unhappy, or they're being cheated and lied to.

I think Buddha was right when he said "Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others."

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Sans

Sans

I'm going to burn myself alive in public!
Oct 2, 2019
271
Maybe. I’ve thought about being in love and how maybe that would give me something to live for. However, as usual, no one has ever loved me.
 
Z

Zegers

Specialist
Dec 15, 2021
398
I think it would depend on the partner and how you feel... if it's an ideal partner with whom you understand each other very well and everything is good, it's possible that it will be minimized and you'll start to see the good side of life again... or not.
 
chokti

chokti

Metaphysically Homeless
Feb 21, 2022
222
No, for two reasons:

As others have stated, if I were to actually acquire a partner, losing them would break me.

Any relationship I would be capable of having would never live up to the romantic/erotic fantasy I've conjured in my mind.
 
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X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,802
I don’t know. I think love is fleeting. A lot of people are lonely here, but I think that is also skewed because of the younger age range here. Clearly, people in relationships still feel suicidal. No one can live your life for you.
 
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brokensea

Member
Aug 4, 2022
32
I don’t feel that way. Everyone I’ve loved has betrayed me. This last one has finally destroyed my heart and he led me on and now I’ve lost my last chance to have a child or a family. I am empty and there is nothing in me anymore. The last thing I want is a relationship. I have a hard time even being around anyone now even friends. They completely drain me. There is no such thing as true love and no one who will always be there for you and not betray you.
 
WhatPowerIs

WhatPowerIs

Experienced
Jun 19, 2022
274
Fantasy is better than reality. My fantasy looks pitch perfect but in reality any potential love life of mine is going to be clouded in anger and frustration and arguments.
 
Caterpillar

Caterpillar

Slick n' Slim
Aug 1, 2022
21
Maybe. I’ve thought about being in love and how maybe that would give me something to live for. However, as usual, no one has ever loved me.
Their loss my man, their loss:hmph:
 
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Marktheghost

Marktheghost

Elementalist
Feb 20, 2020
880
Yes. Just having a deep friendship with someone would be lovely! If it developed into a romantic relationship, all the better!
 
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LittleJem

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2019
1,656
I just met a really interesting crack addict on psych ward and it turns out he gave us a false name and wrong phone number. He was so funny. he also seemed more into me than any man I have met before.

Am totally gutted. I was feeling okay on my meds before trying to call the pscyh ward to find out it's not his name and he's not there.

TLDR: I can't even date a crack addict.
 
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Lauriso

Lauriso

Member
Jul 26, 2022
58
I just met a really interesting crack addict on psych ward and it turns out he gave us a false name and wrong phone number. He was so funny. he also seemed more into me than any man I have met before.

Am totally gutted. I was feeling okay on my meds before trying to call the pscyh ward to find out it's not his name and he's not there.

TLDR: I can't even date a crack addict.
Well fuck :D. When I was in the psych ward, I saw a very pretty girl sitting on the windowsill during our daily walks. It was fall, so I brought her chestnuts I collected and put them on the windowsill from the outside. We kept communicating like this until I showed her a peace of paper with my phone number. We started chatting and met up when we both got discharged. On our first date it turned out she's a psycho. Who would've guessed.
 
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LittleJem

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2019
1,656
He was the most romantic psycho I ever met!

Sod. Damn. You are right. Meeting people on psych ward. I was against it. I should be against it again....
 
L

LittleJem

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2019
1,656
@Lauriso I had his number wrong and he left a message for me. I could still get to hook up with the crackhead!

As for love, hmm, it's the worst. I think this year is all about sex and shoes. But I do want love really.

Darn.

Thank you for the song.
 
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Lauriso

Lauriso

Member
Jul 26, 2022
58
@LittleJem Go for it if it feels right! I find it important to remember communication is always part of sex. Unless you're both totally wasted. You still have to look into the eyes of the person and most likely wake up next to them. So if a girl is mean or dumb or any other undesirable quality, I don't want to hook up with her no matter how hot she is. It's not worth it.

Unless I feel absolutely miserable, in a week I'm going to an underground music festival next to the sea. I've volunteered to spend some shifts at the entrance so I can intercept all the beautiful girls and try my luck :D.
 
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LittleJem

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2019
1,656
I texted the crackhead and he has not texted straight back and I feel more mad than ever.

I am happy for your trip @Lauriso and hope you get lucky!

I have had one good and loving past relationship - both of us were stoners, and hten the rest of them my mental health was not good enough to be in a relationship but I tried anyway. I have been loved, but I didn't feel loved as I had issues...And right now just crazy lonely on pscyh ward, but not sure when I will be free again.

Then I want to become a DJ! So that is the way to get the boys, right ;)
 
Lauriso

Lauriso

Member
Jul 26, 2022
58
@LittleJem People can have a plethora of reasons not to text back straight away. Like crack. Have you tried crack?

Thank youuu!

Sending you compassionate virtual hugs! Why have you landed in the psych ward? Are you not free to leave?

Haha, definitely, seeing a girl on stage doing ANYTHING immediately raises her status in my eyes. Obviously it works for boys as well. I don't think I'll ever be much of a DJ because of my emo/punk rock preferences that aren't trending nowadays at all :D.
 
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LittleJem

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2019
1,656
He’s on a different psych ward. We were both sectioned at the same place initially then transported to different destinations.

I have not tried crack but I have tried cocaine. I am on the psych ward because I love THC. 500 mg.

I self-medicate for depression. Then they decide it’s mania because they don’t understand drugs and I get sectioned.

Third time this year since I got evicted on Valentines Day.

So they have taken me off my only working anti-depressant as psychiatrists are stupid actually. There is no psychiatric medication without LSD. But they judge me.

Bored on psych ward. Alarms going off. All the funny people have gone. Of course I am craving drugs even more now I’m bored and lonely….
Have you tried crack? Apparently it’s not so bad….But it’s not for me!
 
Lauriso

Lauriso

Member
Jul 26, 2022
58
@LittleJem Ah, I see. I haven't tried crack but probably would if I happened to stumble upon it. Tried cocaine once or twice but the effects wore off so quickly and I felt down afterwards. Speed on the other hand... it lasts all day. Pity that I get desensitised so quickly and need to take a week off for it to work again. That said, with how bad I've been feeling lately, I've been taking it almost every day for like three weeks. My body is exhausted and my sleep is a mess. But yeah I totally get you about the need to self-medicate when nothing else works.

THC 500mg? In what form do you take it? I just smoke weed occasionally.

There is no psychiatric medication without LSD.
Not sure I get what you mean.

I'm happy to chat with you to ease your boredom. As long as we find something genuinely interesting to talk about for both of us. You know friendships are like farts, if you force them, they're shit.
 
L

LittleJem

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2019
1,656
Hey…Weed gummies. They are very strong. Once I have one I eat more. I dreamed about looking for weed last night. Will have to wait till I’m out of this prison.
I tried H once but didn’t like it.

People that judge self medicating haven’t suffered mental illness
I recommend weed edibles for depression/anxiety if you get on with weed.
I am so bored I am probably boring but thank you for your offer. I’m trapped in a psych ward cell…
 
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Lauriso

Lauriso

Member
Jul 26, 2022
58
@LittleJem Never tried gummies. Weed isn't legal where I live so that's probably why. I've never tried H but have thought to myself I would if I had the chance. Actually I do have the chance to order it from deepweb but so far have resorted to lighter stuff.

Absolutely agree regarding judgement and mental illness.

Are they giving you any meds at the hospital?

It's almost midnight here so I'm gonna slowly doze off. Wishing you a mentally refreshing sleep too!
 
Mixolydian

Mixolydian

Warlock
Aug 2, 2020
713
Romantic love wouldn't make me less suicidal. I would probably be better off if I had a better relationship with myself, i.e. I actually loved myself.