
little helpers
did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
- Dec 14, 2021
- 519
One of us. One of us. Gooble Gabble. Gooble Gabble.
I myself don't actually have a family anymore. I was pretty much disowned which I am okay with at this point.
I'd DM you by now but I still don't have the ability to on this site. Starting to seem like it will never unlock for me.
TL;DR: if I scared you with fucking long confessions just run for your life and you good. lol. but I mean it. I do.
it’s hard for me to be able to really view them (mine, yours) as family too. when it clearly doesn’t do anything a family is meant for, and did/does all it isn’t supposed to do. it’s “family” in name. a household at most. one where I’m now kept but totally not wanted. strictly for “motherfucker go get sober and choose life” purposes. well I started during HS so I always got a way to score and to use. right in their fucking bathroom. and when there’s all the ways you can ctb in a psych ward, they’d have to be really ignorant thinking the bus doesn’t stop here either.
I actually liked it better when they kind of disowned me. college, that was. doesn’t matter rent wasn’t coming. I got way too much connection, way too attached to the streets, that I could’ve run off with twenty different people anyways. now *that* was a *lot* of choices. and I could’ve said farewell to rent forever. replace four roommates in a 1B1B apt with hella lot of roommates you like and know well dispersed ‘cross an open area. maybe it’s the California weather making me say that. but I know what it’s like sitting ‘round ampm smoking a swisher with buddy at 3 a.m. in rainy winters. my ass was gon freeze. but I honestly couldn’t care less. Idk if I still want that at this point. whether it means more to have shelter or to have real human connection. nobody should have to throw one away to get a ticket for the other. but that *is* the situation right here and it doesn’t help that I been chronically suicidal.
this is whatever though. not many people got to be on here if their life hasn’t already been a “whatever” to themselves. and I’m just another one. and that is whatever as well. I said things that might be too personal for you or for this thread. and you don’t have to give a shit as to if you should make me feel heard. I already feel heard. knowing we share a sentiment. possibly experiences. and the funny thing is I sort of wanted to say all of this just becuz I want you to feel heard.
Edit: don’t know ‘bout the PM thing too well cuz it hasn’t been locked for me since day one. you can try settings (it’s HELLA long and complicated JUST LIKE my comment lol). if it’s too much effort you might want to post that in off-topic section or see if you stumble upon one in the searchbar.
Edit: Edit: I like profile comments a bit better than PMing. if you also happen to feel that way I can comment on yours than mislead this thread with my terrible etiquette lol. is etiquette a Reddit thing only? regardless, *if* you want that *and* don’t mind others seeing your post history, you can go to settings and make your profile open. someone had to teach me this as well who was taught by someone else as well. lol.
take care.
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