little helpers

little helpers

did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
Dec 14, 2021
519
One of us. One of us. Gooble Gabble. Gooble Gabble.

I myself don't actually have a family anymore. I was pretty much disowned which I am okay with at this point.

I'd DM you by now but I still don't have the ability to on this site. Starting to seem like it will never unlock for me.

TL;DR: if I scared you with fucking long confessions just run for your life and you good. lol. but I mean it. I do.

it’s hard for me to be able to really view them (mine, yours) as family too. when it clearly doesn’t do anything a family is meant for, and did/does all it isn’t supposed to do. it’s “family” in name. a household at most. one where I’m now kept but totally not wanted. strictly for “motherfucker go get sober and choose life” purposes. well I started during HS so I always got a way to score and to use. right in their fucking bathroom. and when there’s all the ways you can ctb in a psych ward, they’d have to be really ignorant thinking the bus doesn’t stop here either.

I actually liked it better when they kind of disowned me. college, that was. doesn’t matter rent wasn’t coming. I got way too much connection, way too attached to the streets, that I could’ve run off with twenty different people anyways. now *that* was a *lot* of choices. and I could’ve said farewell to rent forever. replace four roommates in a 1B1B apt with hella lot of roommates you like and know well dispersed ‘cross an open area. maybe it’s the California weather making me say that. but I know what it’s like sitting ‘round ampm smoking a swisher with buddy at 3 a.m. in rainy winters. my ass was gon freeze. but I honestly couldn’t care less. Idk if I still want that at this point. whether it means more to have shelter or to have real human connection. nobody should have to throw one away to get a ticket for the other. but that *is* the situation right here and it doesn’t help that I been chronically suicidal.

this is whatever though. not many people got to be on here if their life hasn’t already been a “whatever” to themselves. and I’m just another one. and that is whatever as well. I said things that might be too personal for you or for this thread. and you don’t have to give a shit as to if you should make me feel heard. I already feel heard. knowing we share a sentiment. possibly experiences. and the funny thing is I sort of wanted to say all of this just becuz I want you to feel heard.

Edit: don’t know ‘bout the PM thing too well cuz it hasn’t been locked for me since day one. you can try settings (it’s HELLA long and complicated JUST LIKE my comment lol). if it’s too much effort you might want to post that in off-topic section or see if you stumble upon one in the searchbar.

Edit: Edit: I like profile comments a bit better than PMing. if you also happen to feel that way I can comment on yours than mislead this thread with my terrible etiquette lol. is etiquette a Reddit thing only? regardless, *if* you want that *and* don’t mind others seeing your post history, you can go to settings and make your profile open. someone had to teach me this as well who was taught by someone else as well. lol.
take care.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Circles
SanguineHare

SanguineHare

Demon Bunny Queen
Dec 16, 2021
74
TL;DR: if I scared you with fucking long confessions just run for your life and you good. lol. but I mean it. I do.

it’s hard for me to be able to really view them (mine, yours) as family too. when it clearly doesn’t do anything a family is meant for, and did/does all it isn’t supposed to do. it’s “family” in name. a household at most. one where I’m now kept but totally not wanted. strictly for “motherfucker go get sober and choose life” purposes. well I started during HS so I always got a way to score and to use. right in their fucking bathroom. and when there’s all the ways you can ctb in a psych ward, they’d have to be really ignorant thinking the bus doesn’t stop here either.

I actually liked it better when they kind of disowned me. college, that was. doesn’t matter rent wasn’t coming. I got way too much connection, way too attached to the streets, that I could’ve run off with twenty different people anyways. now *that* was a *lot* of choices. and I could’ve said farewell to rent forever. replace four roommates in a 1B1B apt with hella lot of roommates you like and know well dispersed ‘cross an open area. maybe it’s the California weather making me say that. but I know what it’s like sitting ‘round ampm smoking a swisher with buddy at 3 a.m. in rainy winters. my ass was gon freeze. but I honestly couldn’t care less. Idk if I still want that at this point. whether it means more to have shelter or to have real human connection. nobody should have to throw one away to get a ticket for the other. but that *is* the situation right here and it doesn’t help that I been chronically suicidal.

this is whatever though. not many people got to be on here if their life hasn’t already been a “whatever” to themselves. and I’m just another one. and that is whatever as well. I said things that might be too personal for you or for this thread. and you don’t have to give a shit as to if you should make me feel heard. I already feel heard. knowing we share a sentiment. possibly experiences. and the funny thing is I sort of wanted to say all of this just becuz I want you to feel heard.

Edit: don’t know ‘bout the PM thing too well cuz it hasn’t been locked for me since day one. you can try settings (it’s HELLA long and complicated JUST LIKE my comment lol). if it’s too much effort you might want to post that in off-topic section or see if you stumble upon one in the searchbar.

Edit: Edit: I like profile comments a bit better than PMing. if you also happen to feel that way I can comment on yours than mislead this thread with my terrible etiquette lol. is etiquette a Reddit thing only? regardless, *if* you want that *and* don’t mind others seeing your post history, you can go to settings and make your profile open. someone had to teach me this as well who was taught by someone else as well. lol.
take care.
I think I managed to open up my profile to people? I'm not really sure.

Go ahead and try to comment on my profile. :)
 
little helpers

little helpers

did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
Dec 14, 2021
519
I wish I could self harm. View attachment 82273

reminds me of one I’ve seen on r/AddictedToTheNeedle. that one said “I want a huge shot of meth” though. lol. but I really love both. raw and expressive. done on the spur of the moment. even when I’m not SHing I feel like this a lot. heck, that’s why I started SH in the first place. I’d say the worst part is SH impulses when on junk. like, smack, “opiates” junk. painkiller of any kind really. motherfucking wanna do it so much but how far must this shit go till I sense the pain?! that’s real fucked up. anyways I love your art and I’m hugely sorry for ranting.
 
little helpers

little helpers

did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
Dec 14, 2021
519
I think I managed to open up my profile to people? I'm not really sure.

Go ahead and try to comment on my profile. :)

******everyone else who’s not Sanguine can ignore this cuz only reason I’m typing it here is becuz I still can’t PM or profile comment them*****

sorry about the late reply. my sleeping routine is the weirdest thing in this world. and I still can’t PM *or* start conversation on profile with you. it doesn’t have that button for me at your account. if you managed to get a “start conversation” and a “chat” option going when someone previews your profile you know you got it right this time. I’ll look into it a little bit. will update if I figure it out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: LionsTigersAndBears
SanguineHare

SanguineHare

Demon Bunny Queen
Dec 16, 2021
74
******everyone else who’s not Sanguine can ignore this cuz only reason I’m typing it here is becuz I still can’t PM or profile comment them*****

sorry about the late reply. my sleeping routine is the weirdest thing in this world. and I still can’t PM *or* start conversation on profile with you. it doesn’t have that button for me at your account. if you managed to get a “start conversation” and a “chat” option going when someone previews your profile you know you got it right this time. I’ll look into it a little bit. will update if I figure it out.
Morning. This forum is made much more confusingly than it really has to been. I'm not seeing any setting to change for it. @[email protected]
 
Kotochan

Kotochan

Student
Jul 17, 2019
133
1641333550121
A drawing a made a while ago. It's of me! but I don't actually think im stupid or useless just not much use for the world lol - i found it earlier this week and i had completely forgot i made it lol
 
Live Free or Die

Live Free or Die

A wise man can always be found alone.
Jan 12, 2022
117
All through my tears
I've dreamed of this
Tonight I've lost all my fears
The feeling of eternal bliss

In the end I was there
Filled full of nothingness
My heart pouring despair
Of the things I obsess

The knife bites my wrist
So long I've been waiting
My soul crossing the abyss
I feel my life fading

My blood running cold
Everything is out of me
And my suffer you behold
I've been set free

Cleansed of who I am
I taste the sweet kiss of death
Into my own blood I swam
Less an' less my breath

As I drown into myself
My pain I wash away
My life shows itself
Alone I still am today

All through my tears
I've dreamed of this
Tonight I've lost all my fears
The feeling of eternal bliss

I've finally found what I've needed
Everything now feels so right
My life gently conceded
I've entered the light
 
D&D

D&D

Write something, even if it’s just a suicide note.
Dec 3, 2021
255
One of my poems translated by me into English. Poetry in my language is hard to translate due to differences in idioms and language mechanisms but this should be accurate.

Vision of the city

I love your poem @Hans Voralberg

I do not know what language you are translating to English, but I do know how hard it is to translate poetry ... I would say it is almost impossible to translate, rather to re-interpret.
As I drown into myself
My pain I wash away
My life shows itself
Alone I still am today

Beautiful. Thank you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Live Free or Die
settheory

settheory

Bundle of perceptions
Jul 29, 2021
346
They are still dragging a corpse to a hospital. When it reaches the hospital, maybe they'll try to heal it. Then they will send it back into the battlefield and put it in a trench. They will clumsily try to fit a gun in it's hands. If they fail, they will just put it nearby. If it gets wounded again, they will again try to drag it to a hospital and heal it. Or maybe they'll send it into a prison for defying orders.
...
This war just drags on and on. And it feels like it will never end.
 
Live Free or Die

Live Free or Die

A wise man can always be found alone.
Jan 12, 2022
117
The time has come the time is now
Pick a place and pick how
Say goodbye to those that care
Even those with no one there
We'll be gone we won't be missed
Promise me one last kiss
Hold my hand and take the leap
Trust your heart and not your feet
Our bodies fall but our souls will fly
To the heavens through the sky
From the darkness to the light
It's finally over no more fight
Nirvana and serenity
Emotions washing over me
One last thing for me to say
In front of God, it's judgement day
You were my sun and my moon
And in the end I was your doom
Thank you for always loving me
You deserved much better than me
 
BrokenBliss

BrokenBliss

Invisible. Apparently.
Jan 11, 2022
526
What a nice thread to scroll through. Good job, everyone.

I've posted some of my paintings before, but here are two more I did.

AgtD3TH.png


FvtndyR.jpg
I love these!
Years ago I made this and drove around with it for about three months. I guess it could be titled "The Art of Weird Looks at Traffic Lights".

View attachment 9782
That is awesome!
 
Last edited:
G

Gsvko

Mea culpa.
Dec 14, 2021
193
.
Self-hatred and disgust.
Can I disappear?
Flawed, rotten brain.
Just rip it out please.

Spent all energy, out of ways...

Soul exerted can not withstand
Existence turned to pure torture.
I don't need a happy end.

- Dk if it's art, but it's a note in my phone that's 4 yo. Feels like it was written by someone else.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Circles
settheory

settheory

Bundle of perceptions
Jul 29, 2021
346
"The Pilgrim"
enjoy lol
The Piligrim
The Piligrim, or the Pi. is very exhausted. Their mouth dry. They would kill for anything to drink. Even if it was poison that would kill the Pi.. No, no... They scold themselves for such sinful thoughts. But finally. Here is the holy place. This piligrim took the harshest path - the paths of the saints. It is the original path of the prophet, or Pr.. The prophet led people, where the Pr.'s vision told Pr.'s to go. To Purity, Honor, Wisdom, Beauty... And this is the place where the Angel A. gave them food, and wisdom for the Pr., for the Pr. to retell it in a language comprehensible to them.

It is a dangerous journey. By far not everyone is brave enough to do it. Those who try are struck with overwhelming dread as soon as they come to the first place. That's why this place is called the Sieve. They return and experience nightmares for about a year. But those who choose to go further despite the dread are themselves chosen. They are the purest. Past that point, the journey is always hard, but successful. Those who returned (and seemingly all of them did) told of of wonderful things. The nourishing water, those who drink it experience a full rebirth and restoration of body, spirit, and mind. They see and hear the most supreme beauty, the most supreme wisdom... When they return, they live simple lives. Each may live somewhat differently, but everyone who return claim one thing - that they are very happy. Happier than they ever were. They never regret the journey.

And here the Pi. is. The fountain is dry. Why is the fountain dry? Maybe they told about water metaphorically? or maybe it is not really nessessarily here? After all, not every story even mentions the water. Maybe the thirst will get healed here directly, without water. And here is a statue of an angel. It is quite beautiful. Is it the idol of the same angel that gave the bread to the followers and wisdom to the prophet? A little disappointing, actually. Maybe the statue does not depict any specific angel? After all, it's not the appearance of that one Angel that matters, but the wisdom. The temple looks generally right. The hole in the one of the walls looks exactly how the legends describe. It is claimed that only this wall of this temple has a hole shaped like this. Pr. already had a general idea of how it would look like, because many temples have holes in walls that look similar, but not exactly like this one, because only for this temple such a hole with such a shape is permitted.

The pattern on the walls is described as "gentle, supremely beautiful". But... it is the opposite of beautiful. It is disgusting. Almost vomit-inducing. It looks like a thousand devil's grins, twisted in cruel mockery. Like of those fallen angels, called "the mocker". The stories tell that Mocker's "jokes" make people seek the quickest death, even a violent and painful one. "Did the devil lead me to a wrong paths? NO! How could it be? It's same path everyone took! What is happening? What is happening?" The slight beauty of the angel's statue switches to agonizing ugliness. Like from one's worst nightmare. This is one of the ugliest things they have ever seen. Just looking at it is a torture. They wish they have never seen this ever. No, how can anything can be THAT ugly?! Could it be a creation of the devil? A demon? Pi. is enraged. The Pi. hits the statue with their fists and feet. They scratch it. Try to spit on it. Fail, they are that dehydrated. Curse it with the most vile, vulgar curses. They take a stone, conveniently placed nearby, and hurl it onto the statue. "Die, devil!". Such energy, despite exhaustion. Pi. falls on their knees. Pi. weeps. Pi lies on the ground. "Please... Please... water... anything...". Terror replaces fury. Unimaginable and absurd, even compared to terror experienced in the Sieve. Pi. feels helpless and recites prayers in their mind. They can't move their lips, either due to exhaustion or paralyzed by terror. Pi. wonders if they are already in hell.

This hallucinatory agony lasted for several hours. The sun just set. The terror left, but the agonising thirst is still there. They still can't move. Nobody told poor Pi. of this. Why? Is Pi. the only one who experienced this? Do they forget about this and return? Or something different? Pi. does not know.
What will happen next? Pi. does not know.
 

Attachments

  • thepilgrim1.txt
    4.2 KB · Views: 0
Last edited:
cececo

cececo

Depression + Depression != Happiness
Jan 31, 2022
19
The singer Awsten Knight from the band Waterparks :) not entirely sure if I'm uploading the photo right... View attachment 85176
...if everyone you knew was out to get you

You did a great job drawing him. Would love to see more of your work. If you did a series of what he'd look like for more songs I'd be curious to see Don't Hate Me especially. Unless you have posted otherwise and I just haven't noticed.