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Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Joined
Jan 13, 2020
Messages
62
I have her back in my life and I'm very happy however I've had constant thoughts of hurting myself ending myself more of because of the fact that she won't say that she loves me. I understand it sounds ridiculous at first right? But as most would know that I've known me on here that I've been with this woman for 10 years or at least I was with her for 10 years she came to me she came back to me you know and with me having obsessive love disorder it makes it a little hard not to hear her say I love you.

However I know she loves me, if she didn't love me she wouldn't have come back, if she didn't love me she wouldn't continue to keep coming to my place, if she didn't love me then she wouldn't have bought me a whole bunch of satanic things things she knows I like.

I even called her out on it, I said "you're getting me gifts, and you're here, you continue to be here, we've made love, we've kissed, you hold me, we watch TV together all that stuff a couple days,so since you're doing all these things with me that tells me only one thing, that tells me that you are telling me that you love me but you're not ready to say it"

She and her own way pretty much agreed, however it's just it gets difficult for me and yeah that's how it's going right now and she wants to give up the kids fully because she feels she can't be a mother and now, I respect that,and it's valid but it's still interferes with my feelings of still wanting my daughter back and all this other stuff but now I essentially know that's gone all I have now is her and I'd rather have her than nothing at all, because after everything she still my world, I'm never going to stop being in love with her I just want her to say I love you so bad.
 
T

toforigivelife

Experienced
Joined
Jul 5, 2021
Messages
232
The reason she won't say I love may be because she feels like, in her mind or to her ears, she feels like you're demanding that she tell you that she loves you.

Do you ask numerous times for her to tell you that she loves you? Maybe not directly but in the way you described in your post? Or do you only ask once in a while?

Given how you feel about her it's hard to say this but maybe she does love you but can't give emotionally or maybe the feeling isn't there and the relationship is more convenient than it is genuine.

I don't know, you need to feel loved, that's not neediness, everyone needs to feel loved, and need to for her to reassure you that she loves you and she won't give you that reassurance. That's not very nice.

You might need to have a direct conversation with her. Wait for the right time and just be honest. You need to hear I love you, you need her and love and affection.

If she ignores you or gives you a cold reaction then I don't know what to tell you.
 
Ready2DieToday

Ready2DieToday

Death Becomes Me
Joined
Aug 2, 2021
Messages
116
Charatoriel said:
however I've had constant thoughts of hurting myself ending myself more of because of the fact that she won't say that she loves me....However I know she loves me,...I even called her out on it,...
^^^
This is the problem. No woman (no human) wants to be manipulated. If you're going to self harm b/c you can't hear 3 little words (despite being together 10 yrs etc.), and despite everything you know in your heart, it feels like manipulation. Despite whether you said that or not, she can sense it.

Next it will be you will kill yourself / self harm if she doesn't make you lunch! *at least that's what most women would be thinking* and no-one wants to be manipulated or controlled. You shouldn't be trying to compel someone to meet your needs. It feels like a threat. Either learn to be secure in yourself or you're going to bleed the relationship dry. If you do this you will likely hear it from her naturally if the relationship is healthy.



Charatoriel said:
and she wants to give up the kids fully because she feels she can't be a mother and now, I respect that,and it's valid
^^^
A mother who's willing to give up her kids is likely going through a lot of shit right now. I imagine she doesn't want to say "I love you" because she wants to maintain an emotional distance from you at this moment. She is also going through a lot--managing your issues, her own issues and these children's needs--so for you to assert your needs over hers (and the kids') is too much. Kids' needs are the only ones that should take priority at this moment. To be a woman that's being pulled in multiple directions (kids, man, and whatever else ails her) is just too much. You're a grown man. To a woman you are strength which is not always represented as might. Strength can be something simple as showing control and patience while still loving her as she is.

You need to accept where the relationship is at at the moment. Relationships are a dance and you are both in a rocky solo dance despite standing next to each other. Learn to live with it. Things won't be perfect all the time. Own your shit and don't put it on her and you'll likely get past this phase together, on to a place where she can resume meeting your needs, in addition to her own.

If you can stick it out, high probability you'll get to a better place in the relationship soon.
 
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Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Joined
Jan 13, 2020
Messages
62
toforigivelife said:
The reason she won't say I love may be because she feels like, in her mind or to her ears, she feels like you're demanding that she tell you that she loves you.

Do you ask numerous times for her to tell you that she loves you? Maybe not directly but in the way you described in your post? Or do you only ask once in a while?

Given how you feel about her it's hard to say this but maybe she does love you but can't give emotionally or maybe the feeling isn't there and the relationship is more convenient than it is genuine.

I don't know, you need to feel loved, that's not neediness, everyone needs to feel loved, and need to for her to reassure you that she loves you and she won't give you that reassurance. That's not very nice.

You might need to have a direct conversation with her. Wait for the right time and just be honest. You need to hear I love you, you need her and love and affection.

If she ignores you or gives you a cold reaction then I don't know what to tell you.
Ready2DieToday said:
^^^
This is the problem. No woman (no human) wants to be manipulated. If you're going to self harm b/c you can't hear 3 little words (despite being together 10 yrs etc.), and despite everything you know in your heart, it feels like manipulation. Despite whether you said that or not, she can sense it.

Next it will be you will kill yourself / self harm if she doesn't make you lunch! *at least that's what most women would be thinking* and no-one wants to be manipulated or controlled. You shouldn't be trying to compel someone to meet your needs. It feels like a threat. Either learn to be secure in yourself or you're going to bleed the relationship dry. If you do this you will likely hear it from her naturally if the relationship is healthy.




^^^
A mother who's willing to give up her kids is likely going through a lot of shit right now. I imagine she doesn't want to say "I love you" because she wants to maintain an emotional distance from you at this moment. She is also going through a lot--managing your issues, her own issues and these children's needs--so for you to assert your needs over hers (and the kids') is too much. Kids' needs are the only ones that should take priority at this moment. To be a woman that's being pulled in multiple directions (kids, man, and whatever else ails her) is just too much. You're a grown man. To a woman you are strength which is not always represented as might. Strength can be something simple as showing control and patience while still loving her as she is.

You need to accept where the relationship is at at the moment. Relationships are a dance and you are both in a rocky solo dance despite standing next to each other. Learn to live with it. Things won't be perfect all the time. Own your shit and don't put it on her and you'll likely get past this phase together, on to a place where she can resume meeting your needs, in addition to her own.

If you can stick it out, high probability you'll get to a better place in the relationship soon.
Ready2DieToday said:
^^^
This is the problem. No woman (no human) wants to be manipulated. If you're going to self harm b/c you can't hear 3 little words (despite being together 10 yrs etc.), and despite everything you know in your heart, it feels like manipulation. Despite whether you said that or not, she can sense it.

Next it will be you will kill yourself / self harm if she doesn't make you lunch! *at least that's what most women would be thinking* and no-one wants to be manipulated or controlled. You shouldn't be trying to compel someone to meet your needs. It feels like a threat. Either learn to be secure in yourself or you're going to bleed the relationship dry. If you do this you will likely hear it from her naturally if the relationship is healthy.




^^^
A mother who's willing to give up her kids is likely going through a lot of shit right now. I imagine she doesn't want to say "I love you" because she wants to maintain an emotional distance from you at this moment. She is also going through a lot--managing your issues, her own issues and these children's needs--so for you to assert your needs over hers (and the kids') is too much. Kids' needs are the only ones that should take priority at this moment. To be a woman that's being pulled in multiple directions (kids, man, and whatever else ails her) is just too much. You're a grown man. To a woman you are strength which is not always represented as might. Strength can be something simple as showing control and patience while still loving her as she is.

You need to accept where the relationship is at at the moment. Relationships are a dance and you are both in a rocky solo dance despite standing next to each other. Learn to live with it. Things won't be perfect all the time. Own your shit and don't put it on her and you'll likely get past this phase together, on to a place where she can resume meeting your needs, in addition to her own.

If you can stick it out, high probability you'll get to a better place in the relationship soon.
First things first not going to lie kind of feel like I'm being attacked here, and being assumed understand that I went through two years of therapy and gotten over my insecurities and all that other good s*** now the reason why I was feeling suicidal over the fact that I'm not hearing her say she loves me it's again she randomly comes back into my life, she knows I'm going to let her in.

Now I understand that, if anyone has a lot of power in the relationship it's not me it's her because even though she said she doesn't love me I always say I love her and I do a lot of s*** for her.

And I'm not a grown man I'm actually a grown woman,also I'm not putting anything on her it's just about that I've been with her for 10 years we just established a new relationship again and I know things are going to take time but all that s*** you're saying right now makes me feel like my feelings are not validated whatsoever and you're over here assuming it's controlling manipulation when in reality it's not.

it's called I'm scared I don't know what the hell is going on or anything like that
toforigivelife said:
The reason she won't say I love may be because she feels like, in her mind or to her ears, she feels like you're demanding that she tell you that she loves you.

Do you ask numerous times for her to tell you that she loves you? Maybe not directly but in the way you described in your post? Or do you only ask once in a while?

Given how you feel about her it's hard to say this but maybe she does love you but can't give emotionally or maybe the feeling isn't there and the relationship is more convenient than it is genuine.

I don't know, you need to feel loved, that's not neediness, everyone needs to feel loved, and need to for her to reassure you that she loves you and she won't give you that reassurance. That's not very nice.

You might need to have a direct conversation with her. Wait for the right time and just be honest. You need to hear I love you, you need her and love and affection.

If she ignores you or gives you a cold reaction then I don't know what to tell you.
Ready2DieToday said:
^^^
This is the problem. No woman (no human) wants to be manipulated. If you're going to self harm b/c you can't hear 3 little words (despite being together 10 yrs etc.), and despite everything you know in your heart, it feels like manipulation. Despite whether you said that or not, she can sense it.

Next it will be you will kill yourself / self harm if she doesn't make you lunch! *at least that's what most women would be thinking* and no-one wants to be manipulated or controlled. You shouldn't be trying to compel someone to meet your needs. It feels like a threat. Either learn to be secure in yourself or you're going to bleed the relationship dry. If you do this you will likely hear it from her naturally if the relationship is healthy.




^^^
A mother who's willing to give up her kids is likely going through a lot of shit right now. I imagine she doesn't want to say "I love you" because she wants to maintain an emotional distance from you at this moment. She is also going through a lot--managing your issues, her own issues and these children's needs--so for you to assert your needs over hers (and the kids') is too much. Kids' needs are the only ones that should take priority at this moment. To be a woman that's being pulled in multiple directions (kids, man, and whatever else ails her) is just too much. You're a grown man. To a woman you are strength which is not always represented as might. Strength can be something simple as showing control and patience while still loving her as she is.

You need to accept where the relationship is at at the moment. Relationships are a dance and you are both in a rocky solo dance despite standing next to each other. Learn to live with it. Things won't be perfect all the time. Own your shit and don't put it on her and you'll likely get past this phase together, on to a place where she can resume meeting your needs, in addition to her own.

If you can stick it out, high probability you'll get to a better place in the relationship soon.
Ready2DieToday said:
^^^
This is the problem. No woman (no human) wants to be manipulated. If you're going to self harm b/c you can't hear 3 little words (despite being together 10 yrs etc.), and despite everything you know in your heart, it feels like manipulation. Despite whether you said that or not, she can sense it.

Next it will be you will kill yourself / self harm if she doesn't make you lunch! *at least that's what most women would be thinking* and no-one wants to be manipulated or controlled. You shouldn't be trying to compel someone to meet your needs. It feels like a threat. Either learn to be secure in yourself or you're going to bleed the relationship dry. If you do this you will likely hear it from her naturally if the relationship is healthy.




^^^
A mother who's willing to give up her kids is likely going through a lot of shit right now. I imagine she doesn't want to say "I love you" because she wants to maintain an emotional distance from you at this moment. She is also going through a lot--managing your issues, her own issues and these children's needs--so for you to assert your needs over hers (and the kids') is too much. Kids' needs are the only ones that should take priority at this moment. To be a woman that's being pulled in multiple directions (kids, man, and whatever else ails her) is just too much. You're a grown man. To a woman you are strength which is not always represented as might. Strength can be something simple as showing control and patience while still loving her as she is.

You need to accept where the relationship is at at the moment. Relationships are a dance and you are both in a rocky solo dance despite standing next to each other. Learn to live with it. Things won't be perfect all the time. Own your shit and don't put it on her and you'll likely get past this phase together, on to a place where she can resume meeting your needs, in addition to her own.

If you can stick it out, high probability you'll get to a better place in the relationship soon.
First things first not going to lie kind of feel like I'm being attacked here, and being assumed understand that I went through two years of therapy and gotten over my insecurities and all that other good s*** now the reason why I was feeling suicidal over the fact that I'm not hearing her say she loves me it's again she randomly comes back into my life, she knows I'm going to let her in.

Now I understand that, if anyone has a lot of power in the relationship it's not me it's her because even though she said she doesn't love me I always say I love her and I do a lot of s*** for her.

And I'm not a grown man I'm actually a grown woman,also I'm not putting anything on her it's just about that I've been with her for 10 years we just established a new relationship again and I know things are going to take time but all that s*** you're saying right now makes me feel like my feelings are not validated whatsoever and you're over here assuming it's controlling manipulation when in reality it's not.

It's called I'm scared I don't know what the hell is going on
toforigivelife said:
The reason she won't say I love may be because she feels like, in her mind or to her ears, she feels like you're demanding that she tell you that she loves you.

Do you ask numerous times for her to tell you that she loves you? Maybe not directly but in the way you described in your post? Or do you only ask once in a while?

Given how you feel about her it's hard to say this but maybe she does love you but can't give emotionally or maybe the feeling isn't there and the relationship is more convenient than it is genuine.

I don't know, you need to feel loved, that's not neediness, everyone needs to feel loved, and need to for her to reassure you that she loves you and she won't give you that reassurance. That's not very nice.

You might need to have a direct conversation with her. Wait for the right time and just be honest. You need to hear I love you, you need her and love and affection.

If she ignores you or gives you a cold reaction then I don't know what to tell you.
Ready2DieToday said:
^^^
This is the problem. No woman (no human) wants to be manipulated. If you're going to self harm b/c you can't hear 3 little words (despite being together 10 yrs etc.), and despite everything you know in your heart, it feels like manipulation. Despite whether you said that or not, she can sense it.

Next it will be you will kill yourself / self harm if she doesn't make you lunch! *at least that's what most women would be thinking* and no-one wants to be manipulated or controlled. You shouldn't be trying to compel someone to meet your needs. It feels like a threat. Either learn to be secure in yourself or you're going to bleed the relationship dry. If you do this you will likely hear it from her naturally if the relationship is healthy.




^^^
A mother who's willing to give up her kids is likely going through a lot of shit right now. I imagine she doesn't want to say "I love you" because she wants to maintain an emotional distance from you at this moment. She is also going through a lot--managing your issues, her own issues and these children's needs--so for you to assert your needs over hers (and the kids') is too much. Kids' needs are the only ones that should take priority at this moment. To be a woman that's being pulled in multiple directions (kids, man, and whatever else ails her) is just too much. You're a grown man. To a woman you are strength which is not always represented as might. Strength can be something simple as showing control and patience while still loving her as she is.

You need to accept where the relationship is at at the moment. Relationships are a dance and you are both in a rocky solo dance despite standing next to each other. Learn to live with it. Things won't be perfect all the time. Own your shit and don't put it on her and you'll likely get past this phase together, on to a place where she can resume meeting your needs, in addition to her own.

If you can stick it out, high probability you'll get to a better place in the relationship soon.
Ready2DieToday said:
^^^
This is the problem. No woman (no human) wants to be manipulated. If you're going to self harm b/c you can't hear 3 little words (despite being together 10 yrs etc.), and despite everything you know in your heart, it feels like manipulation. Despite whether you said that or not, she can sense it.

Next it will be you will kill yourself / self harm if she doesn't make you lunch! *at least that's what most women would be thinking* and no-one wants to be manipulated or controlled. You shouldn't be trying to compel someone to meet your needs. It feels like a threat. Either learn to be secure in yourself or you're going to bleed the relationship dry. If you do this you will likely hear it from her naturally if the relationship is healthy.




^^^
A mother who's willing to give up her kids is likely going through a lot of shit right now. I imagine she doesn't want to say "I love you" because she wants to maintain an emotional distance from you at this moment. She is also going through a lot--managing your issues, her own issues and these children's needs--so for you to assert your needs over hers (and the kids') is too much. Kids' needs are the only ones that should take priority at this moment. To be a woman that's being pulled in multiple directions (kids, man, and whatever else ails her) is just too much. You're a grown man. To a woman you are strength which is not always represented as might. Strength can be something simple as showing control and patience while still loving her as she is.

You need to accept where the relationship is at at the moment. Relationships are a dance and you are both in a rocky solo dance despite standing next to each other. Learn to live with it. Things won't be perfect all the time. Own your shit and don't put it on her and you'll likely get past this phase together, on to a place where she can resume meeting your needs, in addition to her own.

If you can stick it out, high probability you'll get to a better place in the relationship soon.
First things first not going to lie kind of feel like I'm being attacked here, and being assumed understand that I went through two years of therapy and gotten over my insecurities and all that other good s*** now the reason why I was feeling suicidal over the fact that I'm not hearing her say she loves me it's again she randomly comes back into my life, she knows I'm going to let her in.

Now I understand that, if anyone has a lot of power in the relationship it's not me it's her because even though she said she doesn't love me I always say I love her and I do a lot of s*** for her.

And I'm not a grown man I'm actually a grown woman,also I'm not putting anything on her it's just about that I've been with her for 10 years we just established a new relationship again and I know things are going to take time but all that s*** you're saying right now makes me feel like my feelings are not validated whatsoever and you're over here assuming it's controlling manipulation when in reality it's not.

It's called I'm scared I don't know what the hell is going on
@toforigivelife

let's make it an established understanding here I'm not demanding it I'm not asking her for it in fact I really ask her at all do you love me because I know how it makes her feel I keep a lot of these thoughts to myself, understand that regardless of the venomous toxic s*** her and I went through together as a team and as a couple for those 10 years I'm acting like as if nothing happened because I'm just happy that she's back in my life, and I never tell her oh I'm going to hurt myself because I'm not asking for attention nor my seeking help, because if I were to say all this to her directly it would just cause more drama that's why I'm venting here I don't need your relationship advice I just need to know that I don't need to feel a f****** alone in this because the thing is in life when you're in a relationship sometimes you just need some reassurance when you and your partner have been through so much hell.

The last thing I heard her say to me before we restarted this relationship was your issues and your reassurance isn't my problem even though we're in a relationship.

Now if you were to go to a couples therapist or even your average therapist they would have looked at her and thought she was f****** insane, because when you're in a relationship you're a team if there's something wrong with your mate you make sure they're okay but instead I have to do with all of my problems on my own even when I really need someone.

so I kind of feel like I am a one girl team right now even though I'm doing all these things for her taking her out to eat getting her roses all this s*** I'm doing all this s*** and all I'm asking for is just I love you and even then if I take the county I'm not even asking for it I just keeping it to myself because I want to hear it.

because I'm having trouble believing that it's true even deep down in my soul I know it's true otherwise again she wouldn't be around.

So yes sometimes reassurance can be really beneficial.

and it takes two to tango when it comes down to a relationship especially if it turns toxic it's never one person's fault.
 
Last edited:
Ready2DieToday

Ready2DieToday

Death Becomes Me
Joined
Aug 2, 2021
Messages
116
Charatoriel said:
First things first not going to lie kind of feel like I'm being attacked here, and being assumed understand that I went through two years of therapy and gotten over my insecurities

When one makes a post for interaction on a forum one will get a variety of responses. Some you will like, some you wont. I dont think the majority of people take time to make lengthy posts just to attack people, at least I dont. I am analytical, honest and unemotional when I speak which tends to be affiliated with male characteristics. Sometimes women dont like it because I am different than most women. I hope you will just see me as a neutral party, trying to look at both of your perspectives in the situation. I'm giving you the advice I would want, but if it doesn't resonate with you then that's ok. This will be my last response. I wish you well.

Charatoriel said:
and all that other good s*** now the reason why I was feeling suicidal over the fact that I'm not hearing her say she loves me it's again she randomly comes back into my life, she knows I'm going to let her in.

If you decided to accept her back then that's a decision you are making and you can't blame these things on her. What you can do is decide to take her with conditions or take her exactly as she is. Sometimes true love requires that. But if you require those conditions, then your needs should be met if they are reasonable and not overexcessive to her. If she is intentionally not doing it for her own protection and not to be hurtful to you, then it's you that has a decision to make, not her. Personally I think it's a trivial issue because actions speak louder; however you may not think its trivial. I would be patient if this is really what I wanted; but maybe you cant be patient. That's up to you. It's a decision however you should be making on your own, independent of her willingness to give, because she obviously has enough issues of her own, independent of yours.


Charatoriel said:
Now I understand that, if anyone has a lot of power in the relationship it's not me it's her because even though she said she doesn't love me I always say I love her and I do a lot of s*** for her.
That is your perception of the relationship, but not the actual reality. You only have no power if you choose to give it away. You always have power over yourself. Dont give it away if you cant afford to especially if you need it to keep yourself afloat rn.

Charatoriel said:
And I'm not a grown man I'm actually a grown woman,
Sorry I made the assumption you were a guy. I actually had started looking through your posts and was wondering whether you were also a girl. But then I took for granted that you had kids together and decided to move on with my statements. Now I'd say everything applies more especially to your partner b/c she is dealing with children that are not biologically yours. That is a heavy responsibility. If I were in your place I'd be understanding of her need to remain emotionally detached in order to keep herself together. She has to make sure her ability to make decisions for her kids is not adversely impacted.

Charatoriel said:
also I'm not putting anything on her it's just about that I've been with her for 10 years we just established a new relationship again and I know things are going to take time but all that s*** you're saying right now makes me feel like my feelings are not validated whatsoever and you're over here assuming it's controlling manipulation when in reality it's not.

it's called I'm scared I don't know what the hell is going on or anything like that


Nothing wrong with being scared. That said you cant force someone to meet your needs. If anything I'd be more comforted by the fact that this is a 10 year relationship. (But that is me and I'm a different person.)


You called her out. She didnt deny it. But you still have to ask to have your need met. And if it doesnt happen then you have to be willing to walk away. You're only other option is to be patient and remain invalidated. I may be willing to do it for sometime based on circumstances. However it sounds like you may not. That is a choice you have to deal with. Have your needs met or walk away (for now). Its up to you. I see it as a very simple choice however WE all as human beings are very complicated.
 
Last edited:
Charatoriel

Charatoriel

Set me free
Joined
Jan 13, 2020
Messages
62
Ready2DieToday said:
When one makes a post for interaction on a forum one will get a variety of responses. Some you will like, some you wont. I dont think the majority of people take time to make lengthy posts just to attack people, at least I dont. I am analytical, honest and unemotional when I speak which tends to be affiliated with male characteristics. Sometimes women dont like it because I am different than most women. I hope you will just see me as a neutral party, trying to look at both of your perspectives in the situation. I'm giving you the advice I would want, but if it doesn't resonate with you then that's ok. This will be my last response. I wish you well.



If you decided to accept her back then that's a decision you are making and you can't blame these things on her. What you can do is decide to take her with conditions or take her exactly as she is. Sometimes true love requires that. But if you require those conditions, then your needs should be met if they are reasonable and not overexcessive to her. If she is intentionally not doing it for her own protection and not to be hurtful to you, then it's you that has a decision to make, not her. Personally I think it's a trivial issue because actions speak louder; however you may not think its trivial. I would be patient if this is really what I wanted; but maybe you cant be patient. That's up to you. It's a decision however you should be making on your own, independent of her willingness to give, because she obviously has enough issues of her own, independent of yours.



That is your perception of the relationship, but not the actual reality. You only have no power if you choose to give it away. You always have power over yourself. Dont give it away if you cant afford to especially if you need it to keep yourself afloat rn.


Sorry I made the assumption you were a guy. I actually had started looking through your posts and was wondering whether you were also a girl. But then I took for granted that you had kids together and decided to move on with my statements. Now I'd say everything applies more especially to your partner b/c she is dealing with children that are not biologically yours. That is a heavy responsibility. If I were in your place I'd be understanding of her need to remain emotionally detached in order to keep herself together. She has to make sure her ability to make decisions for her kids is not adversely impacted.




Nothing wrong with being scared. That said you cant force someone to meet your needs. If anything I'd be more comforted by the fact that this is a 10 year relationship. (But that is me and I'm a different person.)


You called her out. She didnt deny it. But you still have to ask to have your need met. And if it doesnt happen then you have to walk away. You're only other option is to be patient and remain invalidated. I may be willing to do it for sometime based on circumstances. However it sounds like you may not. That is a choice you have to deal with. Have your needs met or walk away (for now). Its up to you. I see it as a very simple choice however WE all as human beings are very complicated.
I'll honestly just be patient for now, I love her, a lot, she's worth it.
Just scared, just can't bare the thought us splitting up again or doing all this effort only to be abandoned.
 
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