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U

Undefined

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2020
Messages
13
I have severe BDD and the only reason why I was able to hold this long was because of the possibility of getting surgery in the future. Now that I’ve made so many bad decisions it has become impossible for me to afford it. I can’t even look in the mirror without feeling extreme dread, my skull is huge and far too big for my body and my nose is extremely long. I’ve never seen anyone who was healthy being as ugly as I am. I’m borderline deformed. I don’t know what to do, I don’t understand why I had to be born with this face. :(
 
I

int5

Member
Joined
May 26, 2021
Messages
17
I'm sorry this has happened to you. The same thing happened to me BDD at the age of 14. I had the money to fix myself with surgery and now regret for not doing it. I wish I had an answer for you. BDD is a messed up rollercoaster.

Wish you all the best.
 
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sick.faery

sick.faery

Joined
Mar 18, 2021
Messages
30
i know saying this won't probably help & people have told you this like a thousand times, but if you have bdd it's kinda garanteed you don't look like that at all. like it's litterally in the diagnostic criteria. if what you see is real, it's not bdd, so you're probably actually okay <3

i know it feels so real and everything, and like it's hard to believe your diagnosis most of the time & what people tell you because you litterally see it in the mirror, but really try to keep that in mind if you can cos if that's really the only reason why you want to die you might want to try to hang on for a little and maybe try to get help. cos you probably wouldn't want to die if you could see your face how it actually is
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

I want to sleep for an eternity
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
3,979
Sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I do not have that disorder but from what I’ve heard it can be really debilitating. Life can be painful, I wish you well.
 
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Bullit

Bullit

Mage
Joined
May 6, 2021
Messages
551
I'm sorry you're suffering. I can only hope you get some good medical care.
 
Flippy

Flippy

Listening to the Air Conditioner Hum
Joined
Jan 5, 2020
Messages
664
I'm sorry you are going through this :-( I know that it's impossible to see yourself as others see you when you have this disorder :-( My sister had similar issues too. I'm not entirely sure but I think I may have this condition or something like it to a degree. I suffered from severe acne when I was younger and it left scars, but I'm the only person who seems to think they are bad. I've had surgery to fix them but my perception is that my skin looks awful :-(

It really damaged me psychologically, I couldn't look in the direction of reflective surfaces. I had to avoid strong light as I felt like it just made it all stand out so much. I still can't try clothes on in stores changing rooms as seeing my face in the mirror is the last thing I need when I'm trying to feel self assured enough to buy clothes.

I'm sure my experience is silly by comparison to yours. The only thing I will say is that sometimes I see my reflection when I don't expect to and I don't even recognise it as me at first as I don't notice the scars. It's strange. It's horrible that we have to live in our own minds sometimes.

For what it's worth, and though I'm sure that this won't have much of an impact on your perceptions (if only it were that easy), I'm sure you have a perfectly normal skull and nose. I hope that at least you might do as I have done at times and catch your reflection by accident and for a moment at least, see yourself without the "filter" from time to time and it will help break the cycle.

Do you get any help from therapists etc for this?
 
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death137

death137

miserable
Joined
Jun 25, 2020
Messages
1,030
As someone who is a genetic trash and wanting to ctb because of that I understand your pain well. Hugs!
 
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Cheemo

Cheemo

Here on my own
Joined
Jul 30, 2021
Messages
37
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way…
I used to have really bad DDB too, to the point where I covered up all my mirrors. There’s still a chance for you saving up to that surgery. I know it’s hard but keep looking forward to that day. You can also look up some great tutorials on makeup in the meantime. Lots of talented people out there!
 
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