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Comatose11

Mage
Jul 26, 2018
576
I am SO socially awkward that you’d think I’m on the autism spectrum (even though I’m not). It’s one of the reasons I want to ctb.

I also can’t find any social skills groups since I don’t have autism. Literally all of them around here are for people on the spectrum.
 
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okyeah

-
Jul 20, 2018
425
It's okay. Even when you have social skills you eventually learn that there isn't much you can say to connect with people. At least that's my experience. When you grow up a certain way and experience certain things it leads to a certain lifestyle that is incompatible with normal people. Social skills aren't everything. It's mostly how you've lived and your background when it comes to making friends. I've given up on trying to find friends. I gave up a long time ago. I just let people come to me. Usually they're rejects. I've always been an outsider so it's only natural. I actually don't really like most of my "friends" anyway
 
T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
There are few things as important as having effective social skills. There is a direct correlation between having an active and engaging social life and happiness. This doesn't mean that lots of friends necessarily equates to a good life or that few friends equates to a bad life. But being able to get along with people is so important. You could be a welfare bum, a business owner, a prisoner, or anything in between.. being able to get along with people is key.
 
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typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
I really believe that social anxiety disorders are the disease of our time. They are absolutely crippling and limit you in so many ways from experiencing a full life. And they lead to depression, substance abuse, suicide, and who knows what else.

Now that I'm an 'adult' I can really see how my social anxiety played a huge role in me ending up where I am. Not everyone is going to be a crazy extrovert. But people aren't supposed to be nervous and afraid of being around other people. It's supposed to be a pleasurable experience. That's our whole gig, being social. So we yearn for this thing that we are hardwired to need. But we are unable to get it because of this hideous thing inside of us.
 
GoneGirlXIV

GoneGirlXIV

Dissipating
Aug 23, 2018
30
I really believe that social anxiety disorders are the disease of our time. They are absolutely crippling and limit you in so many ways from experiencing a full life. And they lead to depression, substance abuse, suicide, and who knows what else.

Now that I'm an 'adult' I can really see how my social anxiety played a huge role in me ending up where I am. Not everyone is going to be a crazy extrovert. But people aren't supposed to be nervous and afraid of being around other people. It's supposed to be a pleasurable experience. That's our whole gig, being social. So we yearn for this thing that we are hardwired to need. But we are unable to get it because of this hideous thing inside of us.
It’s a special trap - needingpeople but you can’t handle them
 
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toolateforme

Student
Jul 2, 2018
159
Same here. I have really bad social skills & often miss cues due to ADHD. Surprisingly I'm not autistic, but I strongly suspect schizotypal personality disorder because much of my social anxiety stems from paranoia and a deep seated fear of people (other than being insecure and hyper-aware of my deficits in social skills).
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
If people weren't so rotten, I probably would feel worse with myself, but no. I noticed I was doing it right, they simply are dark and evil, and completely empty and superficual lersons. So fuck them. They don't deserve even the shit they stomp in the street.
 
Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
625
I really believe that social anxiety disorders are the disease of our time. They are absolutely crippling and limit you in so many ways from experiencing a full life. And they lead to depression, substance abuse, suicide, and who knows what else.

Now that I'm an 'adult' I can really see how my social anxiety played a huge role in me ending up where I am. Not everyone is going to be a crazy extrovert. But people aren't supposed to be nervous and afraid of being around other people. It's supposed to be a pleasurable experience. That's our whole gig, being social. So we yearn for this thing that we are hardwired to need. But we are unable to get it because of this hideous thing inside of us.

There are few things as important as having effective social skills. There is a direct correlation between having an active and engaging social life and happiness. This doesn't mean that lots of friends necessarily equates to a good life or that few friends equates to a bad life. But being able to get along with people is so important. You could be a welfare bum, a business owner, a prisoner, or anything in between.. being able to get along with people is key.

Totally agree. Very well explained.
 
S

stargazer

-
Nov 19, 2018
433
I'm just awkward. I'm not an imposing guy so I never really make others feel intimidated which sucks because other guys must think I'm an easy target to rob. Not going gym, I'm waiting to CTB.

I'm very awkward. I'm more avoidant. It's just who I am. I hate having to deal with or interact with other people. Even just to buy a delicious snack. Sigh.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I am SO socially awkward that you’d think I’m on the autism spectrum (even though I’m not). It’s one of the reasons I want to ctb.

I also can’t find any social skills groups since I don’t have autism. Literally all of them around here are for people on the spectrum.
I'm feeling especially socially awkward, too, Comatose11...even though I'm normally an extrovert. I wonder if depression makes us socially awkward. My sooooo handsome uncle has social anxiety, and no one knows why. He has sought hypnosis for it. I think it's promising that you have a desire to overcome your social anxiety and connect with people, though. Maybe you could START a forum or MeetUp group for people with social anxiety. I don't know. I just wanted to say that the more depressed/unconfident I feel, the more socially awkward I become. Also, since I stopped drinking, I am more aware of awkward social encounters. Just FYI. Hope you find a way to make a connection. This site is a godsend for me.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I really believe that social anxiety disorders are the disease of our time. They are absolutely crippling and limit you in so many ways from experiencing a full life. And they lead to depression, substance abuse, suicide, and who knows what else.

Now that I'm an 'adult' I can really see how my social anxiety played a huge role in me ending up where I am. Not everyone is going to be a crazy extrovert. But people aren't supposed to be nervous and afraid of being around other people. It's supposed to be a pleasurable experience. That's our whole gig, being social. So we yearn for this thing that we are hardwired to need. But we are unable to get it because of this hideous thing inside of us.
Just curious, typx, where do you think you'd be now if you hadn't struggled with social anxiety? No judgement. I've just been doing a lot of thinking about my own past and how I could've done better for myself if I'd have done something differently. Please share.
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
There are few things as important as having effective social skills. There is a direct correlation between having an active and engaging social life and happiness. This doesn't mean that lots of friends necessarily equates to a good life or that few friends equates to a bad life. But being able to get along with people is so important. You could be a welfare bum, a business owner, a prisoner, or anything in between.. being able to get along with people is key.
I was very sociable before the depression but since the depression I had a big lack of confidence in me and I missed my life ah 37 years and can not rebuild it
OH MY GOSH, FURAX53! I am in the SAME boat! BTW, I'm 3 years older than you, and I think we can both rebuild. I often have the same fear as you, but I'm confident we will bounce back.
 
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