CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
28
I wonder if anyone else feels like me, it seems from lurking around that most people here are definite that they don't want to be here and just trying to figure out the best way to go or how to get the stuff together they need to do it.

One of my problems is that sometimes (not always by any stretch) I am literally TERRIFIED of dying. The very idea of it brings on massive anxiety. Not just the process of dying but of ceasing to exist or whatever happens next. At those times getting out of here is a long way from my mind and I want to stay here as long as I can - although I'm still frightened because whether I decide to ctb or not, one day that decision will not be mine and I will die anyway. People say 'but you'll be dead, you won't care' but that really doesn't help. Or (my personal favourite) 'but you won't die for a very long time', which doesn't really help either.

I think in many ways being immortal would probably be worse, I mean just imagine how boring it would be after a while. On the other hand, it just sucks. Every day people die when they don't want to (and people like us can't seem to die even when we DO want to).

I go back and forth between the two. I never actually feel happy to be alive or that I enjoy life, I either want to check out or I am terrified to do so. It seems ridiculous.
 
Malice1

Malice1

-
Apr 6, 2018
287
Yes, your describing limbo. I'm in it as well. Nothing that i tell myself or that people tell me to try to ease the fear is really helping. Really does suck but knowing i have N definitely helps. I'm going to prolong it for as long as i can incase there really is nothing after death which seems likely.
 
accidentaldeath

accidentaldeath

Student
May 29, 2018
107
I wonder if anyone else feels like me, it seems from lurking around that most people here are definite that they don't want to be here and just trying to figure out the best way to go or how to get the stuff together they need to do it.

One of my problems is that sometimes (not always by any stretch) I am literally TERRIFIED of dying. The very idea of it brings on massive anxiety. Not just the process of dying but of ceasing to exist or whatever happens next. At those times getting out of here is a long way from my mind and I want to stay here as long as I can - although I'm still frightened because whether I decide to ctb or not, one day that decision will not be mine and I will die anyway. People say 'but you'll be dead, you won't care' but that really doesn't help. Or (my personal favourite) 'but you won't die for a very long time', which doesn't really help either.

I think in many ways being immortal would probably be worse, I mean just imagine how boring it would be after a while. On the other hand, it just sucks. Every day people die when they don't want to (and people like us can't seem to die even when we DO want to).

I go back and forth between the two. I never actually feel happy to be alive or that I enjoy life, I either want to check out or I am terrified to do so. It seems ridiculous.
Hi, I think you shouldn't probably do it. I mean, if you are not 100% sure and you doubt it can be a really great mistake
 
FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
People talk a good game, but I suspect they're more conflicted than they let on. I know I've said things on here that make me seem more certain about CTBing than I actually am. The lose-lose situation we find ourselves in is simply not easy. People have a very difficult time choosing between two bad options - and, if anybody has convinced themselves that suicide isn't a bad option, they're kidding themselves. Literally no one would choose death over a good life.

I'm definitely facing this catch-22 every day. I think about death and I'm terrified or I think about death and I long for it. Either way, it's death on the brain near 24/7.

Life sucks, and then you die, as they say.
 
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CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
28
FullFat, yep, that's exactly it. I think other people might be misunderstanding me, at no point have I said that I enjoy life or want to live. Being frightened of dying isn't the same. Is fear a strong enough reason to stay? I don't know, people are always saying you should face your fears, right? (Being a bit facetious, I know) And anyway, it doesn't matter whether I want to or not, one day I will have to anyway so I probably need to try and make some kind of peace with it or somehow feel less afraid whatever I decide to do.

I think survival instinct is so hardwired into us, along with the fear of death that it is very hard to short-circuit it.

I remember making an attempt (just woke up again about 36 hours later) and a couple of weeks later having a massive anxiety attack about nothing and freaking out thinking I was having a heart attack (I hadn't realized I had anxiety or even what it was back then) and was dying. I remember thinking 'but what's the big deal? Didn't you WANT to do this just days ago? You kind of still do but don't have any more pills, right? So why are you so scared?' Part of it of course is when I tried deliberately it was my decision and I was in control and now I wasn't. The irony wasn't lost on me but obviously didn't help.

Many years ago I had dinner with a close friend of mine and we ended up in this kind of gothic themed restaurant so inevitably the conversation turned to death. I confided to her about these conflicted feelings (I've been having them for a very long time). She boldly proclaimed 'I'm not afraid of death.' I was taken aback. Really? Her boyfriend was there too, maybe she was trying to put on a brave face in front of him, because he quickly said 'No, I'm not afraid of it either'. I'd wanted to talk about it with her but that just closed down the conversation - seems I was the only one who was frightened so I just needed to have a stiff upper lip, now on to dessert... I didn't want to contradict her but I'm not really sure I really believe anyone who says that. I just can't compute it, how can you not be afraid? It's like fear is woven into every fibre of our being.
 
Malice1

Malice1

-
Apr 6, 2018
287
People talk a good game, but I suspect they're more conflicted than they let on. I know I've said things on here that make me seem more certain about CTBing than I actually am. The lose-lose situation we find ourselves in is simply not easy. People have a very difficult time choosing between two bad options - and, if anybody has convinced themselves that suicide isn't a bad option, they're kidding themselves. Literally no one would choose death over a good life.

I'm definitely facing this catch-22 every day. I think about death and I'm terrified or I think about death and I long for it. Either way, it's death on the brain near 24/7.

Life sucks, and then you die, as they say.
Yeah it definitely is a lose-lose situation. I kept thinking that because i aquired N that i won and i beat our society but truthfully if im beng honest with myself? Its a lost. Now i have to choose over a miserable life, or possibly nothing at all. I'm just another victim.
 
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CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
28
Yes, maybe that's it. I remember I watched a documentary about assisted suicide in one of the US states called How To Die In Oregon and it followed the journey of several people including one terminally ill woman who wanted to ctb when she decided things were unbearable. She asked the lady who prescribed the drugs when she would know that it was the right time to take them. The lady told her simply 'Don't worry, you'll know.' She had a lovely death (if that's not an oxymoron) surrounded by her friends and family. I really wish that it was legal like that where I am, too.
There's so many things to consider. I don't have the money right now to get the N but I think that's probably the best way to go. I think perhaps I should sell some things to make sure I have some on hand in case it gets too difficult later, but then I know it needs to be refrigerated and has a shelf-life of a couple of years, which could mean someone discovers it/destroys it or that it expires before I decide to expire, so to speak, in which case it was a waste of money and possibly taking away the opportunity of someone else who needed it more immediately.
I really recommend that documentary, by the way. I think it's on YouTube. I felt really bad for the poor guy who waited too long and was no longer physically able to adminster the drugs to himself (and therefore according to the law lost his chance as once he stopped being physically able no one else was legally allowed to physically do it to him). Making sure you get the timing right is a big thing to consider.
I know many people on here are also anti-natalists, as am I. It honestly is the best to never have been and to not have to try and wrestle with all this in the first place.
 
CatLover

CatLover

Member
Jun 3, 2018
28
Thank you for all your responses, by the way. If anyone has any advice on how they managed to overcome this fear, I would really appreciate it.
 
Lucas

Lucas

Member
May 26, 2018
81
People who wonder how people do it should watch the lectures by Thomas E. Joiner "Why do people die by suicide": https://anon.to/HrAuX0

He pretty much sums it what is needed to kill oneself. That's also where the lack of blinking is from that I mentioned earlier. He also mentions that people who have experienced extreme physical pain are also more able to do it and I can second it.

I don't suffer from extreme pain, just nagging pain really but it does change how you see things. This might be hard to explain but I'll try my best: when you get real health issues, it kinda snaps you out of the immersion that you lived in. So it's like playing a video game that you really were into and then you get one dead pixel on the screen, you now realize that you are indeed just playing a video game on a screen and it's just a matter of time when the screen stops working.

So I now view that I am a prisoner of my human body, and my rational mind and my hurting body are two seperate things, my body is the screen or a computer that's gonna fail at some point. This also makes you more aware of your feelings and you kinda realize that most of the feelings like fear or sex are just primal stuff that has been intergrated in your body, it's not part of your mind. Once you get that, you kinda understand that it's your body that fears death, not you. Though this is just one of those things that you just learn as you have suffered long enough physical pain. Also, being in pain all the time and having to live with it is like the worst thing that can happen to you, but once it happens, you kinda realize that the death cannot be worse, you have already experienced the worst.

But I'm not saying I don't have times I fear death, I do fear it, but I also know my feelings go in cycles so there will be a time I don't fear it so that will be the time to do it. Plus I do have some faith in universe since it has taken everything else in account (when you look at the living things), I'm sure death will be the same since that and birth are the only two things everybody and everything have in common.
 
FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
I
FullFat, yep, that's exactly it. I think other people might be misunderstanding me, at no point have I said that I enjoy life or want to live. Being frightened of dying isn't the same. Is fear a strong enough reason to stay? I don't know, people are always saying you should face your fears, right? (Being a bit facetious, I know) And anyway, it doesn't matter whether I want to or not, one day I will have to anyway so I probably need to try and make some kind of peace with it or somehow feel less afraid whatever I decide to do.

I think survival instinct is so hardwired into us, along with the fear of death that it is very hard to short-circuit it.

I remember making an attempt (just woke up again about 36 hours later) and a couple of weeks later having a massive anxiety attack about nothing and freaking out thinking I was having a heart attack (I hadn't realized I had anxiety or even what it was back then) and was dying. I remember thinking 'but what's the big deal? Didn't you WANT to do this just days ago? You kind of still do but don't have any more pills, right? So why are you so scared?' Part of it of course is when I tried deliberately it was my decision and I was in control and now I wasn't. The irony wasn't lost on me but obviously didn't help.

Many years ago I had dinner with a close friend of mine and we ended up in this kind of gothic themed restaurant so inevitably the conversation turned to death. I confided to her about these conflicted feelings (I've been having them for a very long time). She boldly proclaimed 'I'm not afraid of death.' I was taken aback. Really? Her boyfriend was there too, maybe she was trying to put on a brave face in front of him, because he quickly said 'No, I'm not afraid of it either'. I'd wanted to talk about it with her but that just closed down the conversation - seems I was the only one who was frightened so I just needed to have a stiff upper lip, now on to dessert... I didn't want to contradict her but I'm not really sure I really believe anyone who says that. I just can't compute it, how can you not be afraid? It's like fear is woven into every fibre of our being.
I agree. You doubt your friend with good reason. We can believe a whole host of crazy things in an isolated moment. For people drugging themselves before doing the deed, that's what they're counting on - suspending the inherent fear of death. Only a moment is needed to pull the trigger or jump from a ledge. So, sure, when people say they don't fear death, I can believe that's true - but only for that one moment in that one conversation. If they're honest with themselves about what death is or if their life is threatened? Hell no. Their cocky bravery will flee from their bones in an instant.

That said, when I'm really depressed, my emotions can become blunted to a point where it *seems* to me like I no longer fear death, but even then, I guarantee you that a near-collision on the freeway would have shooken me up. And, obviously, I didn't CTB when I had plenty of opportunities. That alone speaks for itself, really.
 
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ImNotBatman

ImNotBatman

Student
May 9, 2018
144
I

I agree. You doubt your friend with good reason. We can believe a whole host of crazy things in an isolated moment. For people drugging themselves before doing the deed, that's what they're counting on - suspending the inherent fear of death. Only a moment is needed to pull the trigger or jump from a ledge. So, sure, when people say they don't fear death, I can believe that's true - but only for that one moment in that one conversation. If they're honest with themselves about what death is or if their life is threatened? Hell no. Their cocky bravery will flee from their bones in an instant.

That said, when I'm really depressed, my emotions can become blunted to a point where it *seems* to me like I no longer fear death, but even then, I guarantee you that a near-collision on the freeway would have shooken me up. And, obviously, I didn't CTB when I had plenty of opportunities. That alone speaks for itself, really.

I feel as if near death experiences are more troubling than trying to die experiences. We fear the unknown. If a semi cuts me off and I wreck but live, I'm shaken up because I don't know if I was gonna live or die. If I knew an event was gonna end my life and it unfolded in front of me, I would be scared, but accepting.
If I was looking at the tail end of paralysis and pain for the rest of my life, I'd be so scared and pissed off regardless if it happened.
 
FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
Yeah it definitely is a lose-lose situation. I kept thinking that because i aquired N that i won and i beat our society but truthfully if im beng honest with myself? Its a lost. Now i have to choose over a miserable life, or possibly nothing at all. I'm just another victim.

Yeah, it's not a much of a choice. I honestly don't know what to say about modern society. Obviously, our standard of living is way better than our ancestors'. Groups of people who have been persecuted throughout human history are starting to find acceptance. We're living longer than ever (a double edged sword). I could go on, but the superiority of modern society in many respects is obvious.

What's so perplexing is that this is both the best and worst first time to be alive. Suicid and depression have never been more common (and I mean percentage-wise, not just raw numbers). How is it that so many off wa to die when this is arguably the best time to be alive?
I feel as if near death experiences are more troubling than trying to die experiences. We fear the unknown. If a semi cuts me off and I wreck but live, I'm shaken up because I don't know if I was gonna live or die. If I knew an event was gonna end my life and it unfolded in front of me, I would be scared, but accepting.
If I was looking at the tail end of paralysis and pain for the rest of my life, I'd be so scared and pissed off regardless if it happened.
That's a good point. Control (or lack thereof) is important, but even if someone offered a guaranteed painless death machine right now, I would still be afraid and probably have to drink myself into a stupor before agreeing to it.

Alcohol + bullet to the head is really the only way I'm going to go in real life. I only have the alcohol, at the moment.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Yeah, it's not a much of a choice. I honestly don't know what to say about modern society. Obviously, our standard of living is way better than our ancestors'. Groups of people who have been persecuted throughout human history are starting to find acceptance. We're living longer than ever (a double edged sword). I could go on, but the superiority of modern society in many respects is obvious.

What's so perplexing is that this is both the best and worst first time to be alive. Suicid and depression have never been more common (and I mean percentage-wise, not just raw numbers). How is it that so many off wa to die when this is arguably the best time to be alive?

That's a good point. Control (or lack thereof) is important, but even if someone offered a guaranteed painless death machine right now, I would still be afraid and probably have to drink myself into a stupor before agreeing to it.

Alcohol + bullet to the head is really the only way I'm going to go in real life. I only have the alcohol, at the moment.

We just have more spare time to be depressed and neurotic and philosophize on the futility of life. None of our ancestors who were being chased by lions and struggling 24/7 to get barely enough calories is gonna stop and think about those things lol.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
It really is a grim state of affairs when the only chance I might have at finally committing suicide will need to come through a sort of intense, excruciating agony that somehow is able to exceed the already unbearable kind I'm faced with every fucking day. And knowing me, that's a pretty big might. Why the fuck does it gotta be this way, man? I just want to leave, but the fucking Demiurgic deity known as DNA won't let me. Like a god damn Roomba banging itself into a wall again & again & again. A stupid, unconscious machine designed with the most masochistic of intentions. It's programmed solely for self-preservation, no matter the pain incurred as a result. Whatever else that makes up who you are and what you really want, is simply made irrelevant in the face of that. The fact that enormous, completely untenable pain is the only thing it understands serves as no better punctuation mark to the fundamental truths of efilism. To put it another way, this entire universe is essentially just a medieval torture dungeon of the Pulp Fiction variety and the sweaty, smelly guy behind you called life isn't going to be done fucking you in your ass until Mr. DNA says so.

None of our ancestors who were being chased by lions and struggling 24/7 to get barely enough calories is gonna stop and think about those things lol.

They were also too busy being slaves to their sadistic programming to look up for just one solitary moment and see what a fucking crazy train nature as a whole is. Even when they did, they just made up a bunch of bedtime stories to tell themselves to inoculate themselves against the horror of it all (see Sheldon Solomon's terror management theory). And thus religion, culture & the downright ridiculous notion of "human progress" were born. All of which are in full force today and have been throughout the course of civilization. Humans beings are adapted to be fundamentally delusion creatures. It's literally a survival mechanism for the species so as to ward off crippling existential despair. Not that it ends up working for everybody (this website alone is proof enough of that), but just enough for the majority of the bewildered herd out there to continue living while shitting out even more victims. Humans are insanely dismal creatures when you really breakdown all of the laughable bits & pieces which make up what we really are. At the same time though, it applies to everything on this planet in one form or another. Male lions who systematically snap the necks of all cubs after they take over another male lion's pride, chimps who mutilate and make war on one another, dolphins who gang rape an unlucky female, certain species of birds who let one or more of their chicks starve to death after they've determined it'd be a waste to feed it/them even when they're crying meekly for food which will often lead them to just getting pecked, mother grizzlies who devour their young when starving, nightmarish creatures like the tarantula hawk which injects its larvae into a host tarantula only to then have its young burst forth and devour the tarantula alive (etc.) Mother Nature is a twisted, psychopathic bitch who would put even the most notorious of serial killers to shame and we're all at her mercy.

Richard Dawkins:
The total amount of suffering per year in the natural world is beyond all decent contemplation. During the minute that it takes me to compose this sentence, thousands of animals are being eaten alive, many others are running for their lives, whimpering with fear, others are slowly being devoured from within by rasping parasites, thousands of all kinds are dying of starvation, thirst, and disease. It must be so. If there ever is a time of plenty, this very fact will automatically lead to an increase in the population until the natural state of starvation and misery is restored. In a universe of electrons and selfish genes, blind physical forces and genetic replication, some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, and you won't find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The universe that we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but pitiless indifference.

1472151760149.jpg
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Yep I agree, @Imaginos . Here's "Mother" nature People are so dumb and sadistic to worship that. Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's inherently right. Nature has no brain, no ethical compass, it does not care that it chews up and spits out babies en masse.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
Yep I agree, @Imaginos . People are so dumb and sadistic to worship that. Just because something is natural doesn't mean it's inherently right. Nature has no brain, no ethical compass, it does not care that it chews up and spits out babies en masse.

Yep. It's a cannibalistic meat grinder where anything & everything will be ground up into mulch, usually in a most horrific manner. Whenever I hear someone speak with any kind of reverence or veneration towards nature I can't help, but want to throw up a little in my mouth. I mean, just trying to process the sheer amount of suffering involved when a collection of turtle eggs hatch on a beach somewhere is in itself completely staggering. Hundreds of baby turtles will emerge and try desperately to make their way to the water only to, mere moments later, be mercilessly picked off by numerous predators (birds, crabs, wild dogs, carnivorous fish etc.). And all in the most gruesome & painful of ways. And out of all that carnage & death only one, maybe two, of those hundreds of infants will reach adulthood. The gross inefficiency & cruelty on display is truly mind boggling. What's worse is that many other organisms on this planet have similar spawning habits. In the case of Octopi, you have thousands upon thousands of infants (each of whom are completely sentient, feeling individuals) be slaughtered just so one will make it to adulthood. It's just unbelievable how anyone could look at that and say with a straight face, "Hey man, that's a great system. Nature knows best after all!". I mean seriously just browse "r/natureismetal" for a little while. If that doesn't cure someone of their stockholm syndrome towards nature then I don't know what will.

Here's some truly gut-wrenching examples:

Baby Sea Turtles Attacked: https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/turtles-baby-predation

Baby bird got stuck in a cactus and never got out

Baby impala tries to hide from cheetahs

Squirrel Eating a Baby Squirrel

Male lion digs up a baby hyena from its den while the mom hyena watches.
 
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M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
I don't fear death. If I am to believe in religions, I am screwed after I die, but what is the difference? I am already screwed here anyways. I really want to leave, but I can't leave my dog behind. It is not an option.
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
@Imaginos vegans are the worst of them. They think nature is all rainbows and unicorn farts. They'll harass people about respecting animal welfare but then worship the very thing that harms animals more than all of humanity combined. It's nauseating.

On topic, the more certain I am about my method, its peacefulness and reliability, the more comfortable I am with the thought of death. I think sometimes people confuse the fear of the process with the fear of death itself.
 
anna

anna

downfall
Mar 18, 2018
441
@Imaginos vegans are the worst of them. They think nature is all rainbows and unicorn farts. They'll harass people about respecting animal welfare but then worship the very thing that harms animals more than all of humanity combined. It's nauseating.

On topic, the more certain I am about my method, its peacefulness and reliability, the more comfortable I am with the thought of death. I think sometimes people confuse the fear of the process with the fear of death itself.


I'm confused ... You were not vegan?
 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
@Imaginos vegans are the worst of them. They think nature is all rainbows and unicorn farts. They'll harass people about respecting animal welfare but then worship the very thing that harms animals more than all of humanity combined. It's nauseating.

Indeed. Both them and nature worshipers in general make me shake my head so hard it goes flying off into orbit. There's a blog I periodically read called "Pray for Calamity", which is centered mostly around pointing out the already heavy decay present in modern civilization ranging from just about every measurement you can name (infrastructure, energy production, resource acquisition, agriculture, economics, social, political etc.) We're a species in decline and the damage we've wrought upon the biosphere could very well be irreparable. Personally, I don't see our species lasting past the end of this century, Ocean acidification & the death of almost all marine life, runaway climate chaos, exponential population growth that has already rendered most of this planet a desert, global dimming, catastrophic methane clathrate release from shallow sea beds as a result of rising temps, 4-6 degrees Celsius of warming or more that's already baked into the cake causing very fast, massive ecological changes on the level of the Permian-Triassic extinction event (the worst known extinction event in Earth's history which wiped out an estimated 97% of all life). Combine all this with the human element and something like a nuclear exchange becomes inevitable, if not a guarantee. Even a "small" one between Pakistan & India (highly likely given how much they hate each other) would be lights out for global civilization. Combine this once again with the world's 450 currently active nuclear power plants and we're talking permanent ecocide. Absent industrial civilization, the combined radiation from those plants melting down would be more than sufficient to completely destroy our atmosphere. With no atmosphere, the oceans will boil away into space and the Earth will be left defenseless against the lethal cosmic radiation coming from the Sun. Our once verdant little blue, green ball will become a brown lifeless rock. Short of humanity discovering technology rivaling that of an alien civilization, this planet will most assuredly be dead within the next one hundred years. For someone like me this is wonderful news, as it should be for anyone who can look honestly at the history of this planetary horror show. The twisted game has had its run and now it's all going to go back into the box. Exactly where it should have stayed in the first place.

I guess I got a little sidetracked there, but anyway. This guy and his blog. I like reading it and the dude's a great writer, but christ all fucking mighty the way he sucks nature's dick constantly in each post he makes, just sickens me. To be so clueless as to think that all our problems as humans would be solved if we just went back to the way things "used to be" and became a nice bunch of Luddite primitivists forever and ever. "Come on everybody let's go rejoin that endless cycle of pain, barbarism & early horrible death that humans have already weathered for almost 200,000 years now! Yeah sure, there's all the back breaking labor & boredom involved in just trying to survive every day, but think of all the pretty trees & flowers! Wouldn't that all be just swell!" And given what this guy already knows, I don't know if he's just an insane sado-masochist or just a desperate fool clinging to whatever it is he thinks he can hold on to. Probably both, I guess. It really sucks that Karl's blog "Say No To Life" got shutdown. Fucking loved that place.

Now am I saying that modern life is all hunky dory? Noooooooo. Far from it. The costs & consequences of this way of life are enormous. Every time you turn on even a simple light switch, a forest was razed to make it happen. A mountain had its top obliterated. Another brown person was vaporized by a drone. I mean, just take the turtle eggs on the beach example I mentioned previously. Humans have created an entire industry out of replicating that exact same process except a million times worse. Here we have the unforgivable crime of factory farming. Tens of millions of animals are kept and stacked on top of each other in slots & paddocks all over the world knee deep in their own shit just so we can harvest their flesh that we oh so fancifully fry, when we don't even need it in the first place. From the moment they're born to the sweet moment when they die, they're in a literal hell. That's not even hyperbole, just try watching the documentary Earthlings (assuming it is you can). Overall, our current capitalist society is maintained via intimidation, direct violence & mass death. Just like all the twisted empires before us but, just like them, ours is failing too. The bottom line is, life sucks and it's stupid. Vegan or meat eater, primitivist or futurist, nature lover or city lover. It doesn't matter. If you can't see that life itself is the problem, then you're a moron.

 
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Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
638
Hope extinction comes soon

I find it infinitely ironic that the same forces (sociopaths, pro-lifers, deer in the headlights types etc.) that would shout from the rooftops how wonderful life is are the very same ones who've essentially guaranteed our end as a species through their own unexamined lives & rapacious appetites/greed. We evolved to murder all life, including ourselves. Strange, isn't it? It's like life on this planet is unconsciously committing suicide, since almost all organisms which spring from here are hardwired for short-term self-destructive reward seeking at the cost of long term sustainability & survival. But, oh well. The moment we unscrewed the lid on billions of years of stored sunlight (petroleum, fossil fuels etc.) both we as a species, and the planet's life sustaining capacities, were doomed. The train's off the trestle and we're in free fall. Enjoy it while it lasts, I guess. As ludicrous a notion as that is for us.



some-say-the-end-is-some-say-well-see-r-14291923.png




 
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Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
I find it infinitely ironic that the same forces (sociopaths, pro-lifers, deer in the headlights types etc.) that would shout from the rooftops how wonderful life is are the very same ones who've essentially guaranteed our end as a species through their own unexamined lives & rapacious appetites/greed. We evolved to murder all life, including ourselves. Strange, isn't it? It's like life on this planet is unconsciously committing suicide, since almost all organisms which spring from here are hardwired for short-term self-destructive reward seeking at the cost of long term sustainability & survival. But, oh well. The moment we unscrewed the lid on billions of years of stored sunlight (petroleum, fossil fuels etc.) both we as a species, and the planet's life sustaining capacities, were doomed. The train's off the trestle and we're in free fall. Enjoy it while it lasts, I guess. As ludicrous a notion as that is for us.



some-say-the-end-is-some-say-well-see-r-14291923.png





As long as we stay here we will cause and receive huge amounts of pain and death. We are the biggest failure of nature.
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
@Imaginos Glynos is cool, yeah that video describes pretty much every silly vegan around here. Humanity will still be around by end of century but we'll probably be grunting at each other and living in mud huts lol. God we are so fail. I don't think global warming will kill off every life form, unfortunately.
 
RainAndSadness

RainAndSadness

Administrator
Jun 12, 2018
1,703
I'm also trapped in that state. I don't want to die but also not live either. It's very difficult. I think I'm scared the most of the last few seconds of my life before I die, the process of dying. I don't know what my brain will go through, even if I'm unconscious, I fear that it will be terrible. But I also hate being alive and it's suffer every single day. I wish there was a simple solution for it. But there is none. Suicide isn't one for sure.
 
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