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Apr 28, 2020
Warning: This thread is ENORMOUS. But it's something I wanted to share here.
Recently I remembered a post I did long ago.
It was about depression, disabled people and rich people. I remember when I was younger, my mom showed me the story of a man without legs and arms who were giving speeches about optimism, happiness. He had no limbs and yet was very happy and made a living teaching people about how he overcame his disabilities.

Then I just laughed and my mom got mad with me "Are you making fun of him??" And I just answered that I was not. It was because to me, who were at the moment, struggling with a bit of depression, it seemed that she didn't understand what depression really is.

All my family is very smart, but for topics related to mental health, I had a really rough time explaining things to them, obviously I'm the worst to do so, I don't understand. But I tried.

The challenges of life are obviously affected by your physical health and wealth, but if that was enough then why a lot of famous rich people have committed suicide?
As example I can mention Chester Bennington, he was famous, rich, had a loving family, a successful career. Why would he take his own life? Because of his friend, but even so, why would he be so sad?
We can mention Robin Williams too and a lot of famous people who met their end by their own hands.
That should make no sense. But it's not that complicated.

I tried to compare things using an analogy that could help.

Let's say I own you a car and it's time to pay my dept, so I show up and present to you, two cars.
The first car is a New Lamborghini, 217 mph.
The second one is an old beetle, 70 mph, a few scratches.

You get to choose one of them.
Which car would you pick?

Now, most of people would pick the Lamborghini, obviously. BUT I forgot to tell you one thing, the Lamborghini does not have a tank for fuel, it will never run. ( No thinking outside the box here ^^ )
The beetle, however, is complete. Sure it is not pretty, but ..it's actually faster than a Lamborghini without fuel. It moves. It can go anywhere.

For the sake of this, I'll assume that I'm completely healthy, like a lot of people suffering from depression "is".

In this analogy, I'm the Lamborghini. The man without limbs is the beetle, it doesn't matter that I have my limbs, he has something much more important, the fuel.
No matter if you are a Lamborghini or a Beetle, both cars needs fuel, it's what moves them.

Would you prefer to be someone with a whole "perfect body" but braindead or a happy paraplegic?

I'm not saying that a paraplegic should be happy not matter what, not making fun of the man without limbs, I'm happy that he overcame his disability, of course.

Depression is a invisible disease that target our most important organ in the body, the brain. It takes all the "fuel" away, everything that makes us move. Without it, there's no "Cheer up", "Do something, be happy." There's only a person with functioning body, but no will to move.

Of course we try to get better sometimes, but it's not simple. It's kinda sad that some people don't understand that.

Anyway. Sorry this thread is a little bigger than Jupiter. But I just wanted to share this with you.
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Jul 4, 2021
Just because someone's problems seem monumental compared to yours, it doesn't mean that you don't endure hardships either; otherwise, does this mean only the person with the worst life experiences is allowed to complain? While it's important to be grateful sometimes, people who guilt-trip others like that don't really understand the nature of mental illness.


"Everything that makes you will all go..."
Apr 6, 2021
I was thinking about this exact thing earlier - how the things in life aren't responsible for your happiness. I agree with you 100%. I think, the way you presented this, anyone would agree with you - even those who don't necessarily understand mental health that well. The only thing that not a lot of people would understand, how that some of us cannot find happiness in anything. We could be either the Beetle or Lamborghini. Fuel or no fuel, some of us still won't move, because we'd be driving with no destination. Our entire life would have no fulfilment, or happiness, regardless if it does get better. Anyways, I'm glad I read your post; you seem very knowledgeable.


Jul 3, 2019
I was told by a woman at the Samaritans (who I call every day) that no-one will ever understand mental illness unless they have it. That no matter how much you try and educate them (e.g. your family) they will never understand.

In some ways that was helpful. I really tried hard to educate my family, but they still blame me for my illness. I tried showing them the photos for example of a brain that is depressed versus a healthy brain, and they still dont' understand that this is an illness rather than a lifestyle choice.

So I guess it's good we can be on this forum and we do understand here.


Living dead girl
Sep 24, 2020
Yes, depression is invisible suffering. Somebody can appear to have it all on the outside but on the inside they are falling apart. Those who do not have it will never be able to comprehend what it is like. The analogy perfectly describes it.
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