• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
Life is so stale,it's like living in a nothingness.I seriously live in a parallel existence to everyone else.I Cannot escape the limits of my own mind and it's keeping me a prisoner of the past.I think my life ended 2 years ago because it just hasn't moved forward and I feel so trapped.I wish that I could wake up with a small sense that the day would be a good one or even a bearable one instead of thinking shit I am still here.it sucks !
I have been reading the 5 stages of grief and am stuck in denial,anger,bargaining and depression.I fear that I will never experience the last stage of acceptance and without it life isn't worth it or even possible to live.I hate everything!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tomasnil
K

Karlala

Member
Jun 27, 2018
69
Life is so stale,it's like living in a nothingness.I seriously live in a parallel existence to everyone else.I Cannot escape the limits of my own mind and it's keeping me a prisoner of the past.I think my life ended 2 years ago because it just hasn't moved forward and I feel so trapped.I wish that I could wake up with a small sense that the day would be a good one or even a bearable one instead of thinking shit I am still here.it sucks !
I have been reading the 5 stages of grief and am stuck in denial,anger,bargaining and depression.I fear that I will never experience the last stage of acceptance and without it life isn't worth it or even possible to live.I hate everything!
Like you I hate everything I'm going through at this moment I cant seem to find a way to cope with anything anymore I'm just here cause I cant find a way to push to ctb. I have a rope in my closet and I sit here and think I could just end it but I'm afraid to hang I try a little everyday I have 28 days left before I have to return to work I want to end it before then tonight if I can. But I dont have the power to choke myself out my closet is small so I sit down and pull forward I need a more simple method like when I od I just start taking pills then before I new it I took them all just wasn't enough to put me down
 
Tiburcio

Tiburcio

Voluntary deletion.
May 9, 2018
1,573
Hey, I really don't want to depress you more, but fifth stage is even worse than any depression.

Really, accept the things how they are won't have necessarely to make you feel better.

I passed a lot of times for it. After acceptance I usually can't handle it anymore and I return to denial. It's a very tiring loop.

Now I don't accept things anymore. And I feel better knowing this is not my fault not to like something that is so cruel with everybody.
 
Threads

Threads

Warlock
Jul 13, 2018
724
Acceptance is just a stage. You've accepted what's happened, and you're ready to move forward. It is a very long and difficult process to get there. I think that we put far too much emphasis on what 'acceptance' means. Acceptance doesn't mean healed or recovered. It means exactly what it says it means. You've accepted it. Came to some form of terms with it. It happened, and you accepted that it happened.

Something that is overlooked is that often times when we are severely depressed, many people say that we are 'beyond reason.' They say this for a number of reasons. I think the better term is 'Beyond limits.' We can't take anymore or endure anymore, and when we reach that point, we start to break. For me, when I get to that point where I am just completely overwhelmed and drowning it is natural for me especially to start moving in circles, a lot of people are prone to this behavior, it's a coping mechanism. We're prone to living in the past and refusing to accept the present. Part of developing healthy coping mechanisms is to accept the present as it is, the future for what it will be, and past for what it was.

I'm not there yet, and there's not wrong with that.
 
I

itsallover

Arcanist
Jun 29, 2018
465
I have never lost anyone very close to me luckily, but I have been struggling for the past two years or so with physical ailments and I simply just can't accept how it happened and move on.