Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.
 
BellaKAT

BellaKAT

Student
May 20, 2018
172
I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.
I never talked to you on the forums, but you have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry you're so traumatized, I don't know what you have been through but I and many people here are very understanding and here for you.
 
El Topo

El Topo

(---)
Apr 21, 2018
480
I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.

Whoa... I was not expecting this.

Hope you recover from whatever you went through.
 
L

Lisa

Specialist
May 9, 2018
304
I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.
Welcome Back Sonnenblume
 
Phantom

Phantom

Member
Apr 9, 2018
33
I'm just happy to see you here.

I find your way of talking to people highly enjoyable to read. I've not spoken to you much myself, if at all, but I was genuinely sad to think that I wouldn't see you here anymore.
 
I

I want to end it

Arcanist
Apr 29, 2018
426
Welcome back. I thought you had genuinely ctb'ed.

What was your method, if you don't mind saying?
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Sorry I don't know why I asked that when you said it in your first post.

You could try n?

I didn't fail with sodium nitrite, had a bad accident before I could even take it. I'm taking it as soon as I recover. Afraid I'd puke it up right now, even with anti-emetics. I wish I could get N, can't use Bitcoin though.
 
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deflagrat

deflagrat

¡Si hablas español mándame un mensaje privado!
Apr 9, 2018
360
I didn't fail with sodium nitrite, had a bad accident before I could even take it. I'm taking it as soon as I recover. Afraid I'd puke it up right now, even with anti-emetics. I wish I could get N, can't use Bitcoin though.
I heard A accepts Money Gram and Western Union.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
Hey. Welcome back. Are you ok? I wish you no suffering and pain in whichever option you choose. This life really sucks and leaving it isn't easy.
I fell before I could ctb, to make a long story short. I'm weak, nauseous, my eyes are blurry (though seem to be getting better), muscles are kinda fucked, nerve pain's bad, but I'm ok. Just taking it easy till I recover and can try again. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later if I didn't ctb. I shouldn't have waited so long. Anyways, Thank you for your kind words :)
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
That´s also my problem, i shouldn´t wait too long, before I can´t do it anymore

Yeah, with bad health issues you can never do it too early imo. It's a special kind of hell to be trapped by your own body. If the nausea weren't so bad (even with anti-emetics it's bothersome) I wouldn't be waiting now.
 
Hanger

Hanger

Noosedancer
May 29, 2018
278
My body seems to be made from the devil himself, the pain and the problems are often like hell and it only get´s worse. So you are just waiting until nausea is away and then try it again with the same method?
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
My body seems to be made from the devil himself, the pain and the problems are often like hell and it only get´s worse. So you are just waiting until nausea is away and then try it again with the same method?

I'm sorry you have so much pain. I know how it is though. Just watching yourself deteriorating, day by day, not knowing if you'll be able to function one moment to the next. It's a horror story. There's no point in living this way, at least not for me. Yeah, just waiting for the nausea to get better, I'll see a doctor if I must, though I'm hoping it won't come to that. I hate doctors at this point.
 
Hanger

Hanger

Noosedancer
May 29, 2018
278
You don´t have to be sorry. It´s my fault, that I´m still alive... I´m also sorry for you that you can´t live with your body. I also hate doctors, cause they don´t really want to help, they just want to earn money...
 
ImNotBatman

ImNotBatman

Student
May 9, 2018
144
I'm torn between being glad you are back, and sad youre still suffering.
I'll use the line I do when friends get pregnant :"Congratulations, I'm so sorry. "

Get well sooner than later, and then go on your own terms. Thats all I can hope for you.
 
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