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hectorbeekind

hectorbeekind

abused and used
Joined
May 2, 2021
Messages
5
I failed because family knows my plan and put on close observation till now, experienced the first taste of not having rights as a human being just because I had a psychiatric record and I'm devastated on how I was treated; like a criminal. I can't even trust people close to me either. No matter how much I tried to explain that I'm capable of thinking for myself I'm constantly shut down, my reality is questioned and my sanity is denied, I ticked all the boxes on being gaslighted. Even the LE threatened to tase me if I don't cooperate with my family terms of wanting me to be hospitalized.The psychiatric treatment here is pro-religion so, it makes my condition worst. I can't even purchase SN anymore because they keep a close eye on my spending and they even remove my financial privileges. I can't work due to my health and after all this ordeal I developed a terrible physical illness; vertigo. It's hard to walk and taking a bath is hard. Why they're insisting on preserving me on this earth?

I don't wanna them to know my sources on how I learnt this method, I felt so paranoid like I'm being watched. They asked me and I told em that I casually search the net for methods, but it's been so long they asked me this and no news on this from em. Now I got my courage back to be here and get some support and not having someone questioning my sanity.

I'm @puppy9 and that was my story of shame and misery. Now I can't even go out in peace because they knew about it, I'm now a walking corpse. I'm actually mulling about coming back to SS but I'm ashamed with all the goodbyes and talk of sleeping in peace forever but it did not happened. It's not you but me. I've been lurking as a guest but now I really need you guys.

This post will be deleted and sorry for the incoherent writing because my brain is not working the way it used to be.

To all my friends here, I hope you're not disappointed by me and I hope we still can be friends; this is just me worrying that I'll lose people that are precious to me. You guys know my condition. love you all.
 
H

heretogethelp

Specialist
Joined
May 3, 2021
Messages
319
hectorbeekind said:
I failed because family knows my plan and put on close observation till now, experienced the first taste of not having rights as a human being just because I had a psychiatric record and I'm devastated on how I was treated; like a criminal. I can't even trust people close to me either. No matter how much I tried to explain that I'm capable of thinking for myself I'm constantly shut down, my reality is questioned and my sanity is denied, I ticked all the boxes on being gaslighted. Even the LE threatened to tase me if I don't cooperate with my family terms of wanting me to be hospitalized.The psychiatric treatment here is pro-religion so, it makes my condition worst. I can't even purchase SN anymore because they keep a close eye on my spending and they even remove my financial privileges. I can't work due to my health and after all this ordeal I developed a terrible physical illness; vertigo. It's hard to walk and taking a bath is hard. Why they're insisting on preserving me on this earth?

I don't wanna them to know my sources on how I learnt this method, I felt so paranoid like I'm being watched. They asked me and I told em that I casually search the net for methods, but it's been so long they asked me this and no news on this from em. Now I got my courage back to be here and get some support and not having someone questioning my sanity.

I'm @puppy9 and that was my story of shame and misery. Now I can't even go out in peace because they knew about it, I'm now a walking corpse. I'm actually mulling about coming back to SS but I'm ashamed with all the goodbyes and talk of sleeping in peace forever but it did not happened. It's not you but me. I've been lurking as a guest but now I really need you guys.

This post will be deleted and sorry for the incoherent writing because my brain is not working the way it used to be.

To all my friends here, I hope you're not disappointed by me and I hope we still can be friends; this is just me worrying that I'll lose people that are precious to me. You guys know my condition. love you all.
we're always here for you at SS, don't worry you have community here.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

I want to sleep for an eternity
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
4,068
I’m so sorry to hear this. We as humans deserve a right to die when we want to and nobody deserves to suffer on this earth. Life can be so cruel to us. I wish you the best.
 
Pen>Sword

Pen>Sword

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam
Joined
Jan 13, 2021
Messages
364
That sucks. Treat yourself today by buying ice cream or watch a movie or something. You have it rough. Since you're here for the long haul, might as well enjoy life in your own terms, not anybody's. Enjoy your relaxation. You deserve it!
 
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