icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don’t know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm.

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:

I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I’m a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
p0.jpeg

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
p1.jpeg

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
p2.jpeg

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud“.

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
p3.jpeg

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time „I was asleep“, my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of „Kammerflimmern“, a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
p4.jpeg

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
p5.jpegp6.jpeg
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment p99.jpg

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers
 
icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
Telling the doctors taking SN would have dramatically increased the chance of being detend to closed psychiatry. I've been there once, and I want never have that experience again. I have reached a point in my life in which I do not care whether I die or not. I never changed my mind, the doctors just found a solution.

EDIT: @mentalhealthfighter Nope. Since today they have no clue what exactly caused this.
 
mentalhealthfighter

mentalhealthfighter

Born in sin
Jun 15, 2021
235
Telling the doctors taking SN would have dramatically increased the chance of being detend to closed psychiatry. I've been there once, and I want never have that experience again. I have reached a point in my life in which I do not care whether I die or not. I never changed my mind, the doctors just found a solution.

EDIT: @mentalhealthfighter Nope. Since today they have no clue what exactly caused this.
But weren't they curious about what happened to you? Didn't they want to find out?
 
L

LivvenDe

Student
Sep 22, 2021
105
Sometimes I hope SN doesn't get mainstream enough so it becomes a well known thing and doctors know the antidote and governments do not ban it.....

On the other hand, I wish it was more widespread and people could know they have this easy way out.
 
icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
But weren't they curious about what happened to you? Didn't they want to find out?
Yes, they tested me on literally anything. Like I mentioned in my story the doctors took dozends of small samples of my blood. They even examined my vomit but couldn't find any "atypical" substance. Apparently, the SN was completely absorbed. In the final report it says "maybe a self-poisoning with lidocaine".
 
Last edited:
mentalhealthfighter

mentalhealthfighter

Born in sin
Jun 15, 2021
235
Sometimes I hope SN doesn't get mainstream enough so it becomes a well known thing and doctors know the antidote and governments do not ban it.....

On the other hand, I wish it was more widespread and people could know they have this easy way out.
How easy is it to get? How expensive is it? Can I take it without taking anything else?
Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don’t know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm.

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:

I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I’m a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud“.

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time „I was asleep“, my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of „Kammerflimmern“, a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers
Just looking at SN only, not the medical stuff, was there any pain involved?
 
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icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
How easy is it to get? How expensive is it? Can I take it without taking anything else?
I don't know how to get it now but I paid 30,00$ for 100g and I (this is not a recommendation) would personally take max. 10g without anything and mix it with something you like. Maybe an anti-nausea medicine but nothing more. In my case, 2g without going to hospital was enough.
 
Fakereality

Fakereality

Member
Aug 4, 2021
98
This was an very interesting read i wasn't aware that sn is so effective even doctors failed to identify the substance when it's absorbed.
Did you felt any pain during your treatment?.
 
icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
The only pain I felt was indeed the treatment. They cut my right wrist two times for the giant tubes and the pain I felt inserting the catheter trought my … (you know what I mean) was unbelievable horrible. But SN itself? Nothing, the feeling of the high heartrate was the same like my daily jogging. And after 30 minutes my body just adapted to it. I knew it was beating fast, but I couldn’t really feel it. No nausea even through I was vomiting, the taste after drinking it was maybe pain. But it just held for seconds because drinking coke afterwards eliminated the taste.
 
mentalhealthfighter

mentalhealthfighter

Born in sin
Jun 15, 2021
235
The only pain I felt was indeed the treatment. They cut my right wrist two times for the giant tubes and the pain I felt inserting the catheter trought my … (you know what I mean) was unbelievable horrible. But SN itself? Nothing, the feeling of the high heartrate was the same like my daily jogging. And after 30 minutes my body just adapted to it. I knew it was beating fast, but I couldn’t really feel it. No nausea even through I was vomiting, the taste after drinking it was maybe pain. But it just held for seconds because drinking coke afterwards eliminated the taste.
So the taste was really bad. Or did you have actual pain in your throat or something along those lines?
 
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icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
This was an very interesting read i wasn't aware that sn is so effective even doctors failed to identify the substance when it's absorbed.
Did you felt any pain during your treatment?.
You mentioned the identification. I studied human medicine now for about 3 years and I can’t possibly imagine how the hell they can even identify it if you’re still living. In an autopsy, it‘s easy. But before? I don’t know. @mentalhealthfighter No pain while drinking, it was the typical sparkling feeling of coke. The SN taste came afterwards and was just nasty for seconds.
 
http-410

http-410

nowhere
Sep 12, 2020
732
Thanks for this interesting report.

Did you panic at any time?

Did you panic when you asked your brother to drive you to the hospital? What exactly made you go to the hospital?

Sorry if following question is a bit too personal, you don't have to answer it. I read here recently that someone who also took SN and didn't fast long enough got diarrhea. Did that happen to you as well?

Would you recommend a beta blocker because of the tachycardia?
 
icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
Thanks for this interesting report.

Did you panic at any time?

Did you panic when you asked your brother to drive you to the hospital? What exactly made you go to the hospital?

Sorry if following question is a bit too personal, you don't have to answer it. I read here recently that someone who also took SN and didn't fast long enough got diarrhea. Did that happen to you as well?

Would you recommend a beta blocker because of the tachycardia?
I didn't panic at all. I really don't know how SI feels. I have done many "extreme sports" like bungee jumping or swimming with sharks at a vacation. I always know I could die at anything I do, but I don't really care. And telling my brother to drive me to the hospital was like a normal question to me. And in the intensive care unit where my oxygen level was way below 70%, your body don't have the "strength" to panic, I was pumped with adrenaline.
I answer any questions: I had no diarrhea, my urine was for three days straight green though. About tachycardia: If you have access to it, yes. If not, your body will get used to it like in a 45 minute jog. I have an iWatch which tracks my heartbeat and believe it or not, your heart really goes crazy while jogging. It's was the same feeling.
Hopefully you receive these questions in the right manner. No offense intended:

  • Was this a trial run at death?
  • Do you still want to CTB?
  • Do you think this helped cancel your SI?
  • When, if ever, do you think you'll try again with true intent to leave?
1. Yes. I wanted to know how it works. Yes, I tried officially the lethal dose, which is 2g, but I didn't intend to CTB. But like I mentioned before: If it had happened, I was okey with it.
2. Yes, definitely. After this experience more than ever because before I really didn't have any clue how it "works". With my experience: It's a good damn smooth way to CTB.
3. I had never any kind of feeling of SI so I really don't know the answer to this question.
4. I will not experience the year 2022.
Really appreciate you writing up your experience to this level of detail, thank you, it's very useful.
Thank you! My general intention is to inform you guys and girls. I tried to explain my reaction/experience as good as possible. These pictures were only taken for one purpose: This thread.
 
Last edited:
coffee

coffee

Peace!
Jul 23, 2021
117
Hey dude. Thank you for sharing your experience. Do you think that a higher dose (20- 25g) of SN would make it someone pass out quickly?
 
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rosie93

rosie93

Student
Aug 28, 2021
154
Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don’t know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm.

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:

I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I’m a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud“.

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time „I was asleep“, my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of „Kammerflimmern“, a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers
Thank you!
 
icetea15

icetea15

Member
Apr 12, 2020
41
Hey dude. Thank you for sharing your experience. Do you think that a higher dose (20- 25g) of SN would make it someone pass out quickly?
I personally think a higher dosage of SN increases the chance of nausea especially vomiting which leads to a failed attempt. The taste is horrible, just the thought of drinking 25g of it turns me do down. I would recommend a smaller amount and not playing the „quick pass out game“.

For me there are two choices:
A: Overkill; chances of failing is very high, big sideeffects like nausea etc.
B: Lethal dose; less sideeffects, „smoother“ death but chances of panic maybe high/SI kicking

You have the choice.
 
C

clown_17

Recovery is a myth for me, time is of the essence
Oct 24, 2020
127
Thanks for sharing. I’m unsure why you did this, were you planning on medical attention the whole time it was this SI? Either way this is useful info
 
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RudolphTheReindeer

RudolphTheReindeer

Member
Sep 28, 2021
9
Thank you for documenting and sharing your experience! I plan to use either this method or inert gas so this makes me feel more comfortable.
 
coffee

coffee

Peace!
Jul 23, 2021
117
I personally think a higher dosage of SN increases the chance of nausea especially vomiting which leads to a failed attempt. The taste is horrible, just the thought of drinking 25g of it turns me do down. I would recommend a smaller amount and not playing the „quick pass out game“.

For me there are two choices:
A: Overkill; chances of failing is very high, big sideeffects like nausea etc.
B: Lethal dose; less sideeffects, „smoother“ death but chances of panic maybe high/SI kicking

You have the choice.
Gotcha. Thanks for sharing your point of view. It makes sense.
 
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ChobaniFlipSmores

ChobaniFlipSmores

Hakuna matata?
Jul 28, 2021
175
Wow.

Is there any chance your medicine regimen boosted the effect of the SN such that less of it was needed for a lethal dose?
 
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Bed

Bed

Expired
Aug 24, 2019
327
d read. I'm glad you're fine. S
I personally think a higher dosage of SN increases the chance of nausea especially vomiting which leads to a failed attempt. The taste is horrible, just the thought of drinking 25g of it turns me do down. I would recommend a smaller amount and not playing the „quick pass out game“.

For me there are two choices:
A: Overkill; chances of failing is very high, big sideeffects like nausea etc.
B: Lethal dose; less sideeffects, „smoother“ death but chances of panic maybe high/SI kicking

You have the choice.
can you explain the taste a bit if you don't mind? Does it taste really bitter like alprazolam or far worse?
 
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treestumpbootsneo

Member
Sep 14, 2021
24
Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don’t know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm.

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:

I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I’m a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud“.

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time „I was asleep“, my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of „Kammerflimmern“, a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers
Really really interesting, and sobering
 

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