Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
I am touched by the comments and suggestions that to ctb maybe not the answer for me because of my circumstances.

Given the nature of this site and why I came here it is nice to hear from genuine people that care.
We may all be strangers but life has turned unbearable for me anyways and it is so unfair like what it is for you.

My mum begged me not to ctb and was upset.I wish it had installed a grip on reality and a commitment to try but it didn't.
Having tried medications,taking treatments and involvement from the mental health professionals it has all been in vein.I guess you can't mend some things.when it's time to go,it's time to go and the battle has been lost.
At least I tried.
 
M

musicislife

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Jun 15, 2018
159
I am touched by the comments and suggestions that to ctb maybe not the answer for me because of my circumstances.

Given the nature of this site and why I came here it is nice to hear from genuine people that care.
We may all be strangers but life has turned unbearable for me anyways and it is so unfair like what it is for you.

My mum begged me not to ctb and was upset.I wish it had installed a grip on reality and a commitment to try but it didn't.
Having tried medications,taking treatments and involvement from the mental health professionals it has all been in vein.I guess you can't mend some things.when it's time to go,it's time to go and the battle has been lost.
At least I tried.
What you think your battle is lost?? Your not going to ctb soon are you sorry I just keep thinking of your little un I have a crippling condition and it’s really dragging me down my mam knows I want to leave but the tears and the begging not to is truly heartbreaking I wish I could wait till she passes but I just don’t think I have the time she’s in her mid 70s and could easily love till her 90s where time is running out for me
 
BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
I wish you the best no matter what you choose, but yes, it is nice to have a place when I feel I don't belong anywhere else.

Edit: Also sorry I liked and unliked your post OP, I am still ambivalent about suicide myself but find it comforting lately these past months to think of. So I unliked because I didn't want to do something that I might be accountable for later in this life or the next if there is one (sorry, am still quite superstitious). But I wish you peace, whatever the decision and outcome.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
What you think your battle is lost?? Your not going to ctb soon are you sorry I just keep thinking of your little un I have a crippling condition and it’s really dragging me down my mam knows I want to leave but the tears and the begging not to is truly heartbreaking I wish I could wait till she passes but I just don’t think I have the time she’s in her mid 70s and could easily love till her 90s where time is running out for me
I wish I could wait for my mums sake who is also in her mid 70's and until my boy is older but my suicidal thoughts are too strong and will take me away.I never get a break from them and am tired.!
 
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Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
I wish I could wait for both my boys sake and mums who is also in her mid 70's but my suicidal thoughts are too strong and will take me away.I never get a break from them and am tired.!
Have you had any recent attempts ?
 
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Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
Does it not scare you that any future attempts may end like past attempts and not work? I pray and hope my first attempt is successful I couldn’t do with the stress of living longer
 
K

Karenbaker

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Jun 17, 2018
63
I wish I could wait for both my boys sake and mums who is also in her mid 70's but my suicidal thoughts are too strong and will take me away.I never get a break from them and am tired.!
2 boys I thought you only had the 9 year old
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
Yes.The problem with jumping is there always seems to be a goody too shoes around who wants to save you and once the police arrive ,your opportunity has gone.
 
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Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
Yes.The problem with jumping is there always seems to be a goody too shoes around who wants to save you and once the police arrive ,your opportunity has gone.
Where have you tried to jump from ? Jumping terrifies me scared of heights being the problem there although it’s realitivly quick especially if you hit terminal velocity
 
J

Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
A motorway bridge
Yes probably not the best location ;) far too much attracted attention bet the commuters loved you when they were held up !! There the worst kind of people I hate people who moan in traffic about suicidal persons not considering what is going through the minds of the suicidal person

Although I prefer to stay away from heights there is a bridge I probably would jump from on the M62 Scammonden Bridge pretty high and has seen a number of suicides over the years
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
I wanted to jump in front of a lorry.I had just been to visit my hubby's grave where I lit a candle for us both.4 different police patrols turned up and motorists did ask what was going on but I frankly did not give a shit at the time.
 
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Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
I wanted to jump in front of a lorry.I had just been to visit my hubby's grave where I lit a candle for us both.4 different police patrols turned up and motorists did ask what was going on but I frankly did not give a shit at the time.
Brave to jump in front of a lorry didn’t you fear no pain ? I’ve thought about a mad dash across the motorway flying through the air dead in an instant though it lingers at the back of my mind that I may by a slim chance survive and be brain fucked

Plus no one on here advocates the involvement of others !!!
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
It was an impulsive attempt.I did not question the involvement of others or the pain.i just wanted out but I now see there are better options that do not involve others which are more responsible.
 
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Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
It was an impulsive attempt.I did not question the involvement of others or the pain.i just wanted out but I now see there are better options that do not involve others which are more responsible.
Which options are you considering trying ? I’m all for the charcoal method because I’m a wiimp for pain !!! Though I like the instant part with a train over the longer waiting game with the charcoal
 
Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,630
I would never go by train.I HAve seen a video of a man who attempted but was just cut in 2 at the waist and still using his arms to roll about - it was grim.
Would have to make sure you were decapitated with this method.my methods will be ideally N , exit bag SN or jumping
 
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Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
I would never go by train.I HAve seen a video of a man who attempted but was just cut in 2 at the waist and still using his arms to roll about - it was grim.
Would have to make sure you were decapitated with this method.my methods will be ideally N , exit bag SN or jumping
Yes I was at the train terminal the other day checking the front of the trains and the gap between the bottom of the train and the carriage itself is about 200cm which means if standing on the track your bound to be sucked under and a grisly death awaits - I think the only successful ones are where a person throws themselves off the platform as a high speed train passes
 
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Jonnydoeuk

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Aug 4, 2018
67
Yes I was at the train terminal the other day checking the front of the trains and the gap between the bottom of the train and the carriage itself is about 200cm which means if standing on the track your bound to be sucked under and a grisly death awaits - I think the only successful ones are where a person throws themselves off the platform as a high speed train passes

She had promised him she would never take her own life following a previous suicide attempt.

The Network Rail team leader, who was at the station at the time, said: "I was sat in the office on the platform when I heard the train sounding its horn in distress.

"I jumped up to see what was happening, and my colleague said there was a woman under the train.

See ‘under’ the train