• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
I went into the dollar general across the street and I got that sinking feeling while I was inside. Where you look at all the stuff and it makes you cry almost. Not just the stuff but the people inside too. You might notice someone who looks happy and healthy and you’re slightly envious that you’re in such a terrible place. You see things that remind u of everything you don’t have. Most of it u really don’t need but some of it reminds me I don’t even have the basics like decent cookware. Can’t even cook but if I had kids or family, I might have tried to learn. My mom was a really amazing cook but very mean so I never hung around to learn. I feel like I lack basic life skills at 41. I’m sure I’m not alone but it is embarrassing. Sorry if I sound whiny and pathetic today.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Cooking is one of the very few things that keeps me sane. I urge you to start if you've never cooked before. It's therapy.

Yeah I walk down the street and see happy people and couples and I always have to hold back tears.
Yes, when I see families and couples with kids. I think to myself how terribly I prioritized my life in the early years so that now all I have to look forward to is old age, loneliness, boredom, poverty :( I have zero ambition these days.
 
Metavoid

Metavoid

Student
Oct 21, 2018
160
Yes, when I see families and couples with kids. I think to myself how terribly I prioritized my life in the early years so that now all I have to look forward to is old age, loneliness, boredom, poverty :( I have zero ambition these days.

Aww, you're not too old to meet someone though :( seriously, there are so many single people nowadays. And I tell myself that just because on the outside couples look happy in public doesn't mean they are. Maybe one is having an affair, maybe it's an abusive relationship, maybe it's one where the woman settled for anything. I'm stuck in anlong distance relationship where he's too busy with work to come back to me. My perfect happy life could be a grasp away had he got his shit together and provided me with a home, marriage and a baby but no. Fucking sick of it all. Why try. We aren't alone in misery, believe me
 
S

Schopenhauer

Enlightened
Oct 3, 2018
1,136
Aww, you're not too old to meet someone though :( seriously, there are so many single people nowadays. And I tell myself that just because on the outside couples look happy in public doesn't mean they are. Maybe one is having an affair, maybe it's an abusive relationship, maybe it's one where the woman settled for anything. I'm stuck in anlong distance relationship where he's too busy with work to come back to me. My perfect happy life could be a grasp away had he got his shit together and provided me with a home, marriage and a baby but no. Fucking sick of it all. Why try. We aren't alone in misery, believe me

This. A lot of apparently happy couples are miserable. In social media they make a point of showing the good stuff. Behind the scenes it's all fights and little sex.
 
Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Super duper enlightened
Sep 9, 2018
1,707
Stores always feel really depressing to me, like where people go to die. The Dollar stores are just the pits. And there's nothing worse than queuing up at Walmart for an hour to spend $100 on some bullshit you really don't care about. My favorite is when they have someone outside trying to rope you in to something or make you give money. It's like, I just made it through that godforsaken hellhole of a store and you're trying to stop me leaving. I mean, I'm not often homicidal, but.
 
Metavoid

Metavoid

Student
Oct 21, 2018
160
Who knows maybe I'm being cheated on while my stupid ass waits fucking years for him to get his shit together what if I'm the long distance side chick and he's married who the fuck knows anyone these days really can't trust no one not even yourself. Everyone is neurotic and the human condition is to be unhappy with whatever you have rich people are depressed people who have it all are depressed so trust me you're not alone no one is really happy ever at all
 
Escargot Shorts

Escargot Shorts

Tears-of-a-Clown Ass Bitch
Sep 26, 2018
184
i'd have really intense anxiety attacks if i was in a store just to browse; feeling aimless like that, without something to focus on doing would put me in this state of mind where i'd [irrationally] assume everyone was angry at me for being there (granted, working in retail before, you just develop a kneejerk contempt for customers and just accept that likelihood when you are one). it'd be paralyzing and i'd often end up walking out quickly trying to appear calm.

doing a lot better nowadays, although i'm still antsy if i go into a place alone without something i need to get or if i believe it to be there and can't find it. if anything i guess it just kinda tells me that i don't like being in stores and if i can't think of a reason to be there, i don't need to be and can waste my time doing something else, usually much more fulfilling or at least not as corny as being in a store.

spend $100 on some bullshit you really don't care about.
is this like an example or are u speaking from experience because i'm curious about what it is.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
Stores always feel really depressing to me, like where people go to die. The Dollar stores are just the pits. And there's nothing worse than queuing up at Walmart for an hour to spend $100 on some bullshit you really don't care about. My favorite is when they have someone outside trying to rope you in to something or make you give money. It's like, I just made it through that godforsaken hellhole of a store and you're trying to stop me leaving. I mean, I'm not often homicidal, but.
.
Walmart used to be a place I loved but now it’s a place I dread. Some are nicer depending on where you’re at.
 
W

Willdieby30

recently unbanned
Aug 21, 2018
163
Cooking is one of the very few things that keeps me sane. I urge you to start if you've never cooked before. It's therapy.

Yeah I walk down the street and see happy people and couples and I always have to hold back tears.


can relate to both of these, only my passion for cooking is not as vibrant as i would like so that i could dedicate my life to it, my depression is fatal.
 
Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,142
I went into the dollar general across the street and I got that sinking feeling while I was inside. Where you look at all the stuff and it makes you cry almost. Not just the stuff but the people inside too. You might notice someone who looks happy and healthy and you’re slightly envious that you’re in such a terrible place. You see things that remind u of everything you don’t have. Most of it u really don’t need but some of it reminds me I don’t even have the basics like decent cookware. Can’t even cook but if I had kids or family, I might have tried to learn. My mom was a really amazing cook but very mean so I never hung around to learn. I feel like I lack basic life skills at 41. I’m sure I’m not alone but it is embarrassing. Sorry if I sound whiny and pathetic today.
I always feel (more) depressed when i see happy, healthy normal people. I can’t relate to that and will never have a decent confortable life.