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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
5,892
BitterlyAlive_ said:
Fuck, Squiddy. Third person, huh? Do you feel any kinda way towards this supposed diagnosis?
I mean it could be true. The first time I got told I might have it was in 2015, but I wasn't really experiencing many of the symptoms. In 2020, a therapist I saw in another state tried to say I have it and I said maybe and now in 2021, my nurse practitioner says that's what I probably have and I think I can see why (even when I'm not in mania or depression, I felt the fake earthquakes)
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
5,892
BitterlyAlive_ said:
Very interesting. Well, I hope whatever they ultimately decide to do, it works for you.
Thanks :)

I would take my meds, but I hate how they put me to sleep 16 hours and when I'm not manic, I hate my body so much. Right now currently manic and I couldn't care less about my weight right now as I feel perfect lol.
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
1,766
Squiddy said:
Thanks :)

I would take my meds, but I hate how they put me to sleep 16 hours and when I'm not manic, I hate my body so much. Right now currently manic and I couldn't care less about my weight right now as I feel perfect lol.
I can understand that, mate. But remember how things spiraled out of control last time? I know you don't want to, but it may be a good idea to take your meds. I don't want you to hurt yourself or get stuck in a situation.
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Joined
Sep 4, 2019
Messages
5,892
BitterlyAlive_ said:
I can understand that, mate. But remember how things spiraled out of control last time? I know you don't want to, but it may be a good idea to take your meds. I don't want you to hurt yourself or get stuck in a situation.
True and it probably would be better to take them, I just hate being so hyper focused on my weight when I'm not manic :(

Oddly since waking up, I haven't really felt any earthquakes, but maybe I'm talking too soon lol.
 
BrokenHopes

BrokenHopes

What doesn't kill you, f*cks you up.
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
66
Hello lounging people.
I'm so suprised by my own inadequacy. I give my all for a time and then I fall. Disgusted by my being, so it is difficult to move. Can not stand the feeling of being in my own body. I wish it was all a nightmare but it is not.
I'm tired and hope can be a dangerous thing.
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Be with yourself, not by yourself. Stay hard.
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
4,243
BrokenHopes said:
Hello lounging people.
I'm so suprised by my own inadequacy. I give my all for a time and then I fall. Disgusted by my being, so it is difficult to move. Can not stand the feeling of being in my own body. I wish it was all a nightmare but it is not.
I'm tired and hope can be a dangerous thing.
I feel ya. It can be disappointing to fail over and over and over and over and over again.

What are you having to numb that feel?
 
GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Be with yourself, not by yourself. Stay hard.
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
4,243
Apocalypse9000 said:
Didn’t think at 22 I’d be high on marijuana drinking orange juice at my parents house at 4 am unemployed but here I am
Lol, same (without the weed... or the orange juice).
 
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BrokenHopes

BrokenHopes

What doesn't kill you, f*cks you up.
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
66
GenesAndEnvironment said:
I feel ya. It can be disappointing to fail over and over and over and over and over again.

What are you having to numb that feel?
Yeah it sure can. Would love a cold beer. But in reality Im just eating alot. Can't drink anymore
 
oversizedsweaters

oversizedsweaters

Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2021
Messages
38
Gummy said:
I have to find a job in a month or so and I have no job experience and a piss poor cv.

I need a job that I can work from home in, and not overly stress me or take my daily energy completely.
@Gummy I know this is a really late reply haha, but I used to work for a customer service. It was from home because of covid and for me it was a good job to do. I personally find calling really exhausting, but sometimes there are also companies where you only have to send mails or have to chat with people. Just wanted to let you know, maybe that's also an option. I hope you find a job that fits you! ☺️
 
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
1,766
@Gummy I have a friend who works in customer service, but she just answers people's questions and emails. Most of the people aren't truly angry, just stressed because of the issue/misunderstanding they're calling for. Once my friend does her job, they are usually quite grateful and apologetic. She works from home on a laptop provided by the company, makes more than enough to live on her own.

Perhaps you could look into a job like that? If you'd like, feel free to PM me about it. It's a nationwide company in the US and seems pretty decent from what I've seen.
 
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Sockeye Salmon

Sockeye Salmon

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
89
@BitterlyAlive_ @oversizedsweaters
I don't know if I'm up for that. I'm not good at social stuff like that.. I'm looking for something that's more in line with what I'm studying. Anything like graphic design, illustration, 3d modelling and animating, or even video editing. As long as it doesn't require that much experience or in-depth knowledge of a particular field. Also I don't live in the NA or the EU...
 
oversizedsweaters

oversizedsweaters

Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2021
Messages
38
Gummy said:
I don't know if I'm up for that. I'm not good at social stuff like that.. I'm looking for something that's more in line with what I'm studying. Anything like graphic design, illustration, 3d modelling and animating, or even video editing. As long as it doesn't require that much experience or in-depth knowledge of a particular field. Also I don't live in the NA or the EU...
Aah I understand, the topics you're studying sound really interesting! I hope you can find something that suits you and that you'll like to do!
 
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TriggerHappy

TriggerHappy

Inthe kingdom ofthe blind; the one-eyed are kings
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
733
have been having such a shite time lately - nothing seems to work:
- at this tangent if i ctb'd i'd probably fuck it up.
ON THAT NOTE I WANTED TO SHARE MY FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD MOVIE SUICIDE SCENE:


(I wasn't reared on teletubbies; it was spirits, tarot cards and santana: thanks mom love/miss you always!)
ENJOY! (ps: movie's free on youtube it's worth it)
 
TriggerHappy

TriggerHappy

Inthe kingdom ofthe blind; the one-eyed are kings
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
733
predator.gif

ha! ha! so i discovered the "Recovery Partner's Megathread" and so i've been tripping about how this is nothing more than a glorified dating site (where the sick prey on the sicker) and we are all vulnerable to desire and deceit.
& i faithfully / faithlessly went looking for 'friends' with 'common interests / desires' yes, I too am an apex predator...

... but then i remembered no-one else (only I} can make myself happy / miserable / find fullfillment
i am too burdened by the actions of my past: i may only bring others my burden [until i am maybe well]

so i deleted my communication (and promises of poetry / passion and even exquisite pain)
until i can love myself; i will only love you from afar...
 
Sockeye Salmon

Sockeye Salmon

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Messages
89
why am I always the one who obsesses and clings to other people why can't it be the other way around for once...
I fucking hate being all awkward and gross because I cling to anyone who gives me some attention and love. And they obviously don't feel that same way back so I'm left hanging feeling even worse. I'm just a dumbass.
 
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