Efilismislife

Efilismislife

Psychopath family tortured me
May 25, 2021
500
I was freaking out earlier. S.S. wasn't working. I did see the pm after I was able to find it on twitter to log in.
Whew!!!! :heart:
ME TOO
i keep checking and waiting im afraid if its taken down by the selfish crazy angry mobs whos been attacking 😫

then i try to check SS twitter and finally i can go back here
Hi Callme,
No I can’t turn it around but thanks for the thought. It’s either keep going with these things while also having new things to pop up and old age also or quit. I’ve been standing at the crossroads for a long time. I hope things can work out for you.
This is what i feel too n reminds me of a lyrics

"But when youre standing at a crossroads
theres a choice u gotta make

guess its gonna have to hurt
guess its gonna break me down
like fallin when you try to fly

sad but sometimes
moving on with the rest of your life
starts with goodbye

i know theres a blue horizon
somewhere up ahead waiting for me
getting there means leaving things behind
sometimes lifes so bitter sweet"

I know it’s never going to get better for me. It’s not possible. So I keep asking myself why do I continue to stay when I know the only thing ahead is suffering.
Asking myself that same question everyday all the time
 
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O

OctoberDusk

Member
Apr 26, 2022
64
Not sure why I want to share this, but when I saw the image of the black hole at the center of the Milky Way this morning, one of the first things to spring to mind was a Simpsons quote, "Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

If you've not seen it:
F2qM9GBVYhTWeZ9W3C7Eij-970-80.jpg
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Illuminated
Mar 23, 2018
3,717
Just ate an entire can of lays stacks chips. :aw::aw::aw:;-;;-;;-;
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Illuminated
Mar 23, 2018
3,717
Naw. Body positivity!
I’m fat too and yes, sometimes I eat a whole pizza or a whole bag of chips.
In the grand scheme of things… when you die… you won’t be thinking of that roll of chips. Pretty sure.
😘
Just finished 3 ice cream cones.;-;;-;;-;
 
O

OctoberDusk

Member
Apr 26, 2022
64
It is when you are as fat as I am.

Naw. Body positivity!
I’m fat too and yes, sometimes I eat a whole pizza or a whole bag of chips.
In the grand scheme of things… when you die… you won’t be thinking of that roll of chips. Pretty sure.
😘

Hey, if you don't mind my being "that guy" and ruining the fun, I went from 440lbs (199kgs) to 210lbs (95kg) between 2018 and 2020. I've been in the 210-220 range since. I can talk about what helped me if you're interested (mainly keeping track, getting away from highly processed/high glycemic index foods, better learning to cook, and avoiding eating in front of TVs and computers).

Thought I'd mention it as I spent most of my life filled with self-loathing over the weight and not understanding why I felt there was a void inside me I couldn't fill. (Now I think it was mostly blood sugar spikes and crashes causing an endless craving cycle from so much pasta, cold cereal, and fast food).

If you're not interested, please ignore this and sorry to intrude.
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,390
Fuck I saw this and instantly felt a lot worse:


Also, ducking in an FPS. I thought about leaving this site permanently. Logging off, closing all the tabs on the browser, deleting the bookmark, maybe pressing the self-ban button, and now I'm still here. This place has some kind of hypnotic effect on me. So many times I have thought "Now I'll leave permanently" and 12 hours later I haven't slept at all because I literally just spent 12 hours here.

I need to install some kind of website blocker that kicks me out of here.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Illuminated
Mar 23, 2018
3,717
Fuck I saw this and instantly felt a lot worse:


Also, ducking in an FPS. I thought about leaving this site permanently. Logging off, closing all the tabs on the browser, deleting the bookmark, maybe pressing the self-ban button, and now I'm still here. This place has some kind of hypnotic effect on me. So many times I have thought "Now I'll leave permanently" and 12 hours later I haven't slept at all because I literally just spent 12 hours here.

I need to install some kind of website blocker that kicks me out of here.
I can't leave either. I don't want to anyway. I don't post like I did a few years ago but I need to be able to talk or vent to people who understand. I hope you won't leave but if you need to for health reasons, I understand.:hug:
 
Deadhead Frank

Deadhead Frank

It’s Over!
Aug 29, 2019
1,051
I can't leave either. I don't want to anyway. I don't post like I did a few years ago but I need to be able to talk or vent to people who understand. I hope you won't leave but if you need to for health reasons, I understand.:hug:
I agree. I cant and don’t want to leave either. The site helps me too. The only way out of here for me is the graveyard. The suicidlaity is permanent now. Good to see you by the way. I hope you are doing ok. I enjoy seeing some of the old members even though not many are left. It’s a weird feeling to have been standing at the crossroads for so long watching others come and go. What’s even weirder is just spanning time and living like this now. 🤗

I hope things can work out for you too @Manaaja however you want them too. 🤗
 
Xion

Xion

Please free me from hell.
Jul 5, 2020
380
I accidentally bought a santa claus melon... That's a thing apparently :ahhha: 🤣 *it distracts me from the pain a little*

The story behind the sanata claus melon piel de sapo 2906437315
 
  • Yay!
Reactions: not-2-b-the-answer
Xion

Xion

Please free me from hell.
Jul 5, 2020
380
Well I've had the first exorcist on the phone today, he said he found a curse placed on me by my genitors and entities in my apartment where I attempted suicide and stayed between life and death for 4 days and that he blocked them so I should be free and see things get better within a week. All of that is way beyond me as I know nothing about black magic, if it even exists or not so I'm giving this the benefit of the doubt, he was a recommendation of a therapist who was taking that seriously, but I hope it's true so I can actually get to live freely now and meet my needs. I'm observing how things go from now on. This is curious for sure.
 
Xion

Xion

Please free me from hell.
Jul 5, 2020
380
2 crazy things that happened today because it's hilarious :

#1 : I'm listening to a resistant (usually not sketchy, though they say some dumb stuff occasionnally but the guests looked interesting this time) live about courage and how to fix our society and all of a sudden one of the guest is like "I used to be a hitman when I was 14 and I eventually served some time because of it" super seriously, like WHAT ??! 🤯 This has to be the craziest thing I've heard in a long time...

Follow up explation of why he did it (this is in France I have to mention, not Afghanistan) : "I was lazy so I didn't have any other skills and didn't think about the implications" 🤣

The people hosting the live were like "Excuse me, WHAT DID YOU SAY ? CAN WE HAVE AN EXPLANATION ?" 😳 Crazy stuff...

#2 : Latest guy to like me on a dating site was this glorious guy 🤣 who's photo cracked me up (no I'm not into that at all to be clear lol, WTF) :

Dating Site Guy
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,330
I miss you all deeply. I forgot my password and my protonmail password and couldn't login for a long time. I was finally able to recover my account

Many names are new but some names look familiar. For people who don't know me, my previous usernames were Small_Dreams and freemindnsoul