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rainbowbright

rainbowbright

Member
Oct 1, 2022
89
I went no contact with my entire narc family & changed my name...

I'm lonely and in pain. I had the urge to reach for a mom but she's not a mom... Just a self absorbed bully.

If you want to stay longer, coffee cup, I'll be happy to see you.
I also had to go NC with all my family - too many flying monkeys on my mum's side lol
 
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Hollowillow

Hollowillow

I want throat hugs & anime! Can't use chat pm me
Aug 7, 2022
1,518
I also had to go NC with all my family - too many flying monkeys on my mum's side lol
narc's flying monkeys are the worst! My own social worker is one, she defends my agressors... I felt so cornered and they refused to let me change. She clearly despise me. My mental health worsen. If she hrlps me get out of my home to overcome agoraphobia, she'll let me get hurt... To be independent... Well, I'm not I'm broken...

So good to see you 🌻
 
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IntoTheLight

IntoTheLight

Member
Oct 11, 2022
47
Along with joy, I've also lost the ability to feel sad or empathy. I know I'm hurting people around me but I can't feel anything. A couple of months ago I basically CTB'd mentally and completely gave up. I tried to stay up as long as possible every night because sleeping just meant that the inevitable collapse that I'm heading towards comes sooner. Once the realization sets in that there's no other way out than to CTB the downward spiral really starts to accelerate. Recklessness takes over because you think it won't matter anyways. Except when you then still don't find a way and the consequences of your actions catch up with you, making everything even worse.
 
nootthenoot

nootthenoot

Your local cat lover
Oct 11, 2022
50
Along with joy, I've also lost the ability to feel sad or empathy. I know I'm hurting people around me but I can't feel anything. A couple of months ago I basically CTB'd mentally and completely gave up. I tried to stay up as long as possible every night because sleeping just meant that the inevitable collapse that I'm heading towards comes sooner. Once the realization sets in that there's no other way out than to CTB the downward spiral really starts to accelerate. Recklessness takes over because you think it won't matter anyways. Except when you then still don't find a way and the consequences of your actions catch up with you, making everything even worse.
This is exactly how I feel now. I just stopped caring, and over time the general sadness just disappeared, leaving a sense of apathy about the world and people around me. Once I realized that nothing can truly help, I started looking at CTB more seriously, and now look at me. On track to CTB by the end of 2022. I've given up on recovery, on happiness, on joy. Nothing will ever help me overcome this depression, and I just don't care. It's nice to see someone who is at the same spot as me.
 
not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Angelic
Mar 23, 2018
4,539
Hi
Napoleon Dynamite Hello GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
 
niiina

niiina

🌸
Aug 20, 2022
234
Im up to try to catch the bus again but think that I may fail again and that it may destroy my parents lives is making me chicken out and that’s horrible cause I need to go!
Been smocking too much lately, it’s starting to make me want to vomit but I can’t stop with all my anxiety.
Put some pants and went to the supermarket that’s literally in from of where I live, got some snacks to eat today cause tomorrow who knows
 
Exact Change

Exact Change

A life of mistakes
Nov 6, 2022
60
I thought this would be an appropriate place to wish everyone a good Thanksgiving. I know the 'holidays' of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's can be a Bermuda Triangle for many of us.

For myself, I am going to try to bury my resentments and personal pain. I'll try to live in the moment and be grateful for what I have. Bless all of us.