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Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
They say how depressed they are, they sleep all day (because they are up all night), they have every excuse not to work (1 day at work and they are so tired and sore.)...but then they party with their friends all night, go to bars if they have some cash, etc. They refuse to get help as far as even trying meds, because they are not truly depressed. Meds DO help some people, you have to at least try, These same overgrown brats have truly depressed parents having to deal with their sorry asses and support them. I personally think all some of these lazy, spoiled young adults need is a little tough love and maybe pay some rent, imagine that. Or, if they prefer, go out and see what the real world is like. lol

I don't mean the truly clinically depressed or severely mentally ill ones, I am just talking about the spoiled young adults that use the excuse of being depressed so that their parents feel sorry for and keep supporting them. Take away their nice car, their gravy train and the all night partying, etc. Poor babies. When they start sleeping at night, they miraculously might be able to get up and do something in the morning. It's a miracle!
 
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Malice1

Malice1

-
Apr 6, 2018
287
Its not a coincidence that a topic like this pops up shortly after this one

https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/am-i-the-luckiest-suicidal-but-supported-by-my-parents.348/

My parents call me low class all the time and give me alot of flak for not working despite me giving them most of my SSI check but if i tell them im going to kill myself so that i can stop being a burden on them then their tones completely change. They seem conflicted about it. They want me out just not that way. Well, I'm going to kill myself anyway but not because im a burden. I wish they supported me in my decision which is why i told them im suicidal. It would have been nice to die in my own home and we all know im better off dead.
 
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M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
Its not a coincidence that a topic like this pops up shortly after this one

https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/am-i-the-luckiest-suicidal-but-supported-by-my-parents.348/

My parents call me low class all the time and give me alot of flak for not working despite me giving them most of my SSI check but if i tell them im going to kill myself so that i can stop being a burden on them then their tones completely change. They seem conflicted about it. They want me out just not that way. Well, I'm going to kill myself anyway but not because im a burden. I wish they supported me in my decision which is why i told them im suicidal. It would have been nice to die in my own home and we all know im better off dead.

The fact that you are collecting SSI means you are disabled, and you give them over half. That is more than many young adults give who are fit and able to work. I cannot even get SSI. I cannot venture to guess what their issue is with it. Sometimes parents and kids just clash. Any chance you make enough to move out with a friend? Maybe you can do something just a few hours a week to get out, might make things better. Just getting out of the house and away from the problem can help so much.
 
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Caerula

Student
Mar 20, 2018
145
Its not a coincidence that a topic like this pops up shortly after this one

https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/am-i-the-luckiest-suicidal-but-supported-by-my-parents.348/

My parents call me low class all the time and give me alot of flak for not working despite me giving them most of my SSI check but if i tell them im going to kill myself so that i can stop being a burden on them then their tones completely change. They seem conflicted about it. They want me out just not that way. Well, I'm going to kill myself anyway but not because im a burden. I wish they supported me in my decision which is why i told them im suicidal. It would have been nice to die in my own home and we all know im better off dead.
I can completely understand you and I am sorry that you have to experience this.
 
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Malice1

Malice1

-
Apr 6, 2018
287
The fact that you are collecting SSI means you are disabled, and you give them over half. That is more than many young adults give who are fit and able to work. I cannot even get SSI. I cannot venture to guess what their issue is with it. Sometimes parents and kids just clash. Any chance you make enough to move out with a friend? Maybe you can do something just a few hours a week to get out, might make things better. Just getting out of the house and away from the problem can help so much.

Well im not completely disabled. I can walk and get around i just have to wear leg braces and i have a hard time standing without stumbling. Thats probably why they still expect me too work. I think they keep calling me low class because i chose to get on disability instead of getting a full time job but i cant get a job to save my life. I think i made the right decision, some money is better than no money at all.
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
They say how depressed they are, they sleep all day (because they are up all night), they have every excuse not to work (1 day at work and they are so tired and sore.)...but then they party with their friends all night, go to bars if they have some cash, etc. They refuse to get help as far as even trying meds, because they are not truly depressed. Meds DO help some people, you have to at least try, These same overgrown brats have truly depressed parents having to deal with their sorry asses and support them. I personally think all some of these lazy, spoiled young adults need is a little tough love and maybe pay some rent, imagine that. Or, if they prefer, go out and see what the real world is like. lol

I don't mean the truly clinically depressed or severely mentally ill ones, I am just talking about the spoiled young adults that use the excuse of being depressed so that their parents feel sorry for and keep supporting them. Take away their nice car, their gravy train and the all night partying, etc. Poor babies. When they start sleeping at night, they miraculously might be able to get up and do something in the morning. It's a miracle!

It's called learned helplessness and it more often than not is a symptom of very bad parenting. Coddling can be a form of abuse, if taken to extreme. I don't feel sorry for these parents at all.
 
M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
It's called learned helplessness and it more often than not is a symptom of very bad parenting. Coddling can be a form of abuse, if taken to extreme. I don't feel sorry for these parents at all.

You know, I thought I had said too much already, but I totally agree with you. I used that exact word to a parent recently. Coddling can cripple an otherwise normal child.
 
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typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
Nothing wrong with a rant. Those kids/adults might be infuriating to observe, but they’re crippled in a lot of ways. Barred the life experiences people need to grow and mature. As they age it becomes more and more obvious how Ill-equipped they are for life. Infuriating at 20. Completely pathetic at 30.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
You know, I thought I had said too much already, but I totally agree with you. I used that exact word to a parent recently. Coddling can cripple an otherwise normal child.
One of my ex boyfriend's was like this. I used to resent it too, because he's totally physically healthy, now I just feel sorry for him. He needed to get away from his family but just couldn't break free, and it effectively did cripple him.
 
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Mad

Mad

Actually just sad
Mar 21, 2018
155
You know, I thought I had said too much already, but I totally agree with you. I used that exact word to a parent recently. Coddling can cripple an otherwise normal child.

I would argue that there are a lot of people recently who has become "depressed", also a lot of other people who have become depressed, like for real.

A recent internet culture has gotten rid of a bunch of stigmas revolving depression, the source being other depressed individuals who are willing to speak out over the web. Thanks to such great news something less great happened, people began to look at these expressions just to later imitate them, spreading like a virus for attention or "being a part of the group". I'm not sure if we are talking about the same people, but they are basically willing to blame anything wrong with them on others.

I would be very careful about how you address others like this though, we can't judge these people at face value and call them fake or leeches, as you hopefully already know.
 
L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2018
1,873
I won't judge anyone. If we start doing this and belittle everyone else then we will be next and everyone will hurt us more (which is something already done). We need to help each other rather than doubting if depression is real. I've spent long years with horrible pain that nobody knows but whats the image they have? A lazy or whatever they think. So fuck them all and I won't judge anyone by looks like those scumbags do. People suffer and it doesn't matter if they are called "depressed" or not.
Instead of being judgemental about others why we don't look at the roots of problems and try to solve them? But no, the system is sacred and should never be discussed or think about it!
 
M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
I won't judge anyone. If we start doing this and belittle everyone else then we will be next and everyone will hurt us more (which is something already done). We need to help each other rather than doubting if depression is real. I've spent long years with horrible pain that nobody knows but whats the image they have? A lazy or whatever they think. So fuck them all and I won't judge anyone by looks like those scumbags do. People suffer and it doesn't matter if they are called "depressed" or not.
Instead of being judgemental about others why we don't look at the roots of problems and try to solve them? But no, the system is sacred and should never be discussed or think about it!

But when people are not willing to accept any help, it is not so easy. Anyone getting help or at least trying to do something about it is probably really depressed. I am not doubting that depression is real, it very much is, just that it's not always the problem. There are people who just want attention and have figured out how to work it. Just spoiling them does not help even the truly depressed ones. It just creates a whole new set of problems for them to have to work out later. That does not even make sense.
 
M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
Well im not completely disabled. I can walk and get around i just have to wear leg braces and i have a hard time standing without stumbling. Thats probably why they still expect me too work. I think they keep calling me low class because i chose to get on disability instead of getting a full time job but i cant get a job to save my life. I think i made the right decision, some money is better than no money at all.

You are disabled, there might be something out there part time you can do, but do it for yourself, if so. You are not low class.
 
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L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2018
1,873
But when people are not willing to accept any help, it is not so easy. Anyone getting help or at least trying to do something about it is probably really depressed. I am not doubting that depression is real, it very much is, just that it's not always the problem. There are people who just want attention and have figured out how to work it. Just spoiling them does not help even the truly depressed ones. It just creates a whole new set of problems for them to have to work out later. That does not even make sense.

This is vague, what "help" exactly and what's the whole condition. Many people here won't accept "help" because its fake and don't address the real problem. I know that may looks unrelated to what you say. Attention seeking is a general concept that doesn't really give information about the condition of the person, for example, if someone feels his problems is making him feel like suffocated or drowning they'll seek attention. Spoiling might not be a solution but the other "solutions" may not be the real answer also. Everyone is different after all.
I get your point about opportunism but this is also a general concept, there are far more worse opportunistic people who fills the world. Attention seeking+opportunism is everywhere and while it supposedly gives depression a bad image, why people don't look at other people who do attention seeking and being opportunistic with other topics than depression? Because they want to attack depressed people regardless of this phenomena. Those "normal" people will always give bad image about depressed people and it doesn't matter if someone acts or not.

As for getting more problems from these acts, well, life is just a series of problems and if we suppose they won't get this problem they'll fall for another and if we don't tackle the root problem, there will be no real solution.
 
FullFat

FullFat

^best order at Micky-D's ever
Apr 27, 2018
375
It's called learned helplessness and it more often than not is a symptom of very bad parenting. Coddling can be a form of abuse, if taken to extreme. I don't feel sorry for these parents at all.

Agreed. I've met some people who are very messed up because of such parenting, and I myself have suffered from coddling too. The only difference between the complete depenents and me is that my coddling was inconsistent. I got enough "tough love" to hate myself for being a failure but not enough to develop the life skills that would allow me to be successful.

The best example of this I can give is when my dad told me to kill myself when I was 12. The very next day, instead of apologizing or discussing anything, my dad bought 5 brand new Xbox games and didn't ask me to do my homework for a week. Wtf was a kid suppose to make of such inconsistency?

At the end of the day, I'm a stunted 25 year old with the emotional maturity of a teenager who is only just self-aware enough to recognize I'm a fuckup. I just wish I was immature enough to get wasted partying all night. Sure beats my private pity parties.

The only point in my favor on this invisible rubric of worthy depression is that I tried the useless medication - some of which actually made me worse. Am I a more responsible person for at least trying? Maybe. But what exactly did I gain?
 
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Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
Nothing wrong with a rant. Those kids/adults might be infuriating to observe, but they’re crippled in a lot of ways. Barred the life experiences people need to grow and mature. As they age it becomes more and more obvious how Ill-equipped they are for life. Infuriating at 20. Completely pathetic at 30.

They get mad if their parents try to get them up and make them do something each day. Sorry, but if you are living off your parents, they have a right...hell an obligation, to help you make something of your life. If any of these people think they don't, they would make terrible parents. Doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing. You have to make an effort. Even many depressed people have to get up and work. Yes, it sucks. Such is life.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
They get mad if their parents try to get them up and make them do something each day. Sorry, but if you are living off your parents, they have a right...hell an obligation, to help you make something of your life. If any of these people think they don't, they would make terrible parents. Doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing. You have to make an effort. Even many depressed people have to get up and work. Yes, it sucks. Such is life.

I think there's a lot more going on than you realize. When a parent coddles a kid to an extreme their whole life the kid has zero confidence to make it on their own, they aren't going to be able to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" or whatever. No one gave them the tools to do it. And that's usually the way the parents want it, it's not just the kid manipulating the parents, it's even more the parents manipulating the kid. It's a hell of a dynamic. And at the end, it is the parents fault, not the kids. I bet you anything if those kids were given proper guidance they'd get the hell away and make their own lives in a heartbeat. No one really wants to be some loser stuck in mommy's basement their whole lives.
 
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Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
I think there's a lot more going on than you realize. When a parent coddles a kid to an extreme their whole life the kid has zero confidence to make it on their own, they aren't going to be able to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" or whatever. No one gave them the tools to do it. And that's usually the way the parents want it, it's not just the kid manipulating the parents, it's even more the parents manipulating the kid. It's a hell of a dynamic. And at the end, it is the parents fault, not the kids. I bet you anything if those kids were given proper guidance they'd get the hell away and make their own lives in a heartbeat. No one really wants to be some loser stuck in mommy's basement their whole lives.

I think it can go either way, depending on the kid (er adult). I know one that loves being an overgrown baby and he can be a real jerk about it. He gets his way no matter what. Sometimes I picture his mom nursing him still and I have to laugh at the thought. I think you are right about her though, she wants him to stay dependant as well. I have seen this happen with other young adults, it is bizarre. Some of them never got past it, until death. I could never cripple a child that I loved like that. If you love them, you should want the best for them, even if it hurts you, because it's not about the parent, it's about doing right for the child. And you are right about things being different with a different upbringing, no doubt about that.
 
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L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2018
1,873
They shouldn't reproduce at all. Children never asked to be here and it's not right to force them. So they bring new life to this planet just to make them puppets for the fucking system and let them suffer for the whole life.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
They shouldn't reproduce at all. Children never asked to be here and it's not right to force them. So they bring new life to this planet just to make them puppets for the fucking system and let them suffer for the whole life.

I agree completely. Imposing risk of suffering, without consent, just to satisfy your own desires is a terrible thing to do.
 
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deflagrat

deflagrat

¡Si hablas español mándame un mensaje privado!
Apr 9, 2018
360
There is something called hikikomori, and I am not sure if that's what you are refering to... they don't work or study and they depend on their parents their whole life. Usually they don't have any friends and they barely get out of the house.

Reading the newspaper, I remember one case where the parents forced him to find a job after 4 years isolated in his room, and that lead to his suicide. That resembles a lot with what I am.

Not every one is capable of finding a job. In the end, it's about being homeless without killing yourself... some choose to live others choose to die.
 
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Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
There is something called hikikomori, and I am not sure if that's what you are refering to... they don't work or study and they depend on their parents their whole life. Usually they don't have any friends and they barely get out of the house.

Reading the newspaper, I remember one case where the parents forced him to find a job after 4 years isolated in his room, and that lead to his suicide. That resembles a lot with what I am.

Not every one is capable of finding a job. In the end, it's about being homeless without killing yourself... some choose to live others choose to die.

After 4 years in his room? That is crazy. Maybe the parents should have thought ahead just a bit, at least 4 years. They should have seen what was happening far before this and started some guidance. But, in the end, if the parents do everything they can (which many don't), it's about the choice of the child. If the parent has done all they can and the child just refuses to even try, the parents really do not owe said child a free ride for life. Not all young adults who refuse to even try are disabled or otherwise handicapped. If they can get out and party with their friends til 3am, they can certainly get some kind of a job.
 
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L

Life sucks

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2018
1,873
After 4 years in his room? That is crazy. Maybe the parents should have thought ahead just a bit, at least 4 years. They should have seen what was happening far before this and started some guidance. But, in the end, if the parents do everything they can (which many don't), it's about the choice of the child. If the parent has done all they can and the child just refuses to even try, the parents really do not owe said child a free ride for life. Not all young adults who refuse to even try are disabled or otherwise handicapped. If they can get out and party with their friends til 3am, they can certainly get some kind of a job.

Hikikomori is about completely isolation. What you think is a solution is not a solution for them. Many reasons like traumatic experiences can lead to this. Its not simply get out and get a job. The person is completely isolated and probably have different ideas and thoughts than common ones. Not to mention the lack of communication issues. When parents "try" to do what people think is a solution, it'll lead to more isolation or even suicide. But its OK to kick and make them die in the streets?
 
M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
Hikikomori is about completely isolation. What you think is a solution is not a solution for them. Many reasons like traumatic experiences can lead to this. Its not simply get out and get a job. The person is completely isolated and probably have different ideas and thoughts than common ones. Not to mention the lack of communication issues. When parents "try" to do what people think is a solution, it'll lead to more isolation or even suicide. But its OK to kick and make them die in the streets?

I never said to kick a mentally ill kid into the street to die. If nobody can deal with the situation, I am sure there are other options, but everyone has to try was my point. I would not venture to try to solve that problem without professional help. And seriously, sometimes suicide is the best option for certain people, if they have run out of options. Not everyone cannot be helped. That's why we have this forum.

The ones I am talking about are just lazy party animals. They are not isolated at all. They just think the world owes them a living. This has nothing to do with Hikikomon or any other serious mental issue.
 
deflagrat

deflagrat

¡Si hablas español mándame un mensaje privado!
Apr 9, 2018
360
After 4 years in his room? That is crazy. Maybe the parents should have thought ahead just a bit, at least 4 years. They should have seen what was happening far before this and started some guidance. But, in the end, if the parents do everything they can (which many don't), it's about the choice of the child. If the parent has done all they can and the child just refuses to even try, the parents really do not owe said child a free ride for life. Not all young adults who refuse to even try are disabled or otherwise handicapped. If they can get out and party with their friends til 3am, they can certainly get some kind of a job.
Your mentality will end up in someone killing himself... you don't know how frail people are.
 
Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
The "party animals" I've known were extremely fucked up behind closed doors. I think a couple were sociopaths, a few drug addicts/alcoholics, the rest just very depressed but generally harmless. A lot of them either were suicidal or had been at some point.
 
M

Machonne

Member
Apr 25, 2018
78
Your mentality will end up in someone killing himself... you don't know how frail people are.

I think we are I are talking about two different issues. The people I am talking about have no interest in suicide, they want to party, have fun and live for free. These are not the mentally ill. I keep saying that, but somehow it keeps being missed. The mentally ill and disabled are a different story.
 
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Sonnenblume

Sonnenblume

Sunflower Panda
Apr 6, 2018
588
I think we are I are talking about two different issues. The people I am talking about have no interest in suicide, they want to party, have fun and live for free. These are not the mentally ill. I keep saying that, but somehow it keeps being missed. The mentally ill and disabled are a different story.

How do you know they arent mentally ill?
 

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