How Important Is Socializing to Recovery?

  • Very Important

    Votes: 19 38.8%
  • Important

    Votes: 15 30.6%
  • Nice But Not Essential

    Votes: 11 22.4%
  • Unimportant

    Votes: 3 6.1%
  • Irrelevant

    Votes: 1 2.0%

  • Total voters
    49
X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,734
I live like a hermit aside from Work. My family members constitute my most important social contacts.

I like to myself that my present circumstances in my stupid hometown have contributed heavily to my present loneliness, but I doubt it.

My psychiatrist would likely say I'm doing well, but I feel like a kid without actual friends. My mom is my best friend, lol.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Pathetic || Just keep going
Jul 1, 2020
4,873
depends on the person. some people cant emotionally/mentally cant handle people so for them, probably not as much. but for others, like me, being social is important.
 
Againstthewind

Againstthewind

Member
Jul 10, 2022
63
I wrote on a thread here recently with a similar response to a question like this. We are sociable creatures, and so yeah, sometimes that can be a good thing, but what do YOU want? I personally am happy in my own company, (other people piss me off to much lol) I've learnt to enjoy that. Its the TYPE of people you keep around you. Y'know when everyone says, reach out, tell someone, talk to someone, well they think in there own stupid mind, that most people actually listen, but they don't because they are too self centered. You could reach out and wanna talk to your work friends, but what if they aren't interested and reject what you say, you would feel pretty shitty wouldn't you? You want to surround yourself with good people who care about you and WILL listen, there's plenty of people here who can lend an ear and listen and chat. But in your real life, look for people who genuinely care :)
 
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T

timf

Warlock
Mar 26, 2020
788
I knew a guy born in 1920. He became prominent in government and political circles. He commented once how provincial his parents generation was. Their siblings and cousins were their best friends whereas he considered himself more a "citizen of the world". I don't think he even suspected that his 'friends" were ones who saw in him opportunities for themselves.

In the last 100 years the family as an institution has taken a lot of damage. In its place we have transient (some might say superficial) connections with others. With the destruction of the family, one can also observe people turning away from a public life into more self oriented activities like Cable, video games, etc.

I knew someone in the 1980s that was pretty high up in the state bowling committee (I didn't know how organized it was). He had observed a loss of about 10% per year of people involved in league bowling. He attributed this to VCRs.

If you mom is your best friend, be thankful. Many people do not even have that.

With the Internet, you might find penpals. Even people overseas would love to correspond with a native English speaker. Our you might find connections with others who share a special interest you might have. It would be nice to have a friendly neighbor, but given how society is deteriorating, one often has to cast a wider net.

.
 
akana

akana

being normal is torture
Mar 21, 2022
116
Depends on your circumstances. Personally I used to be pretty okay by myself but I'd always really thought what would bring the best out in me is having a partner I can work alongside with the same values as me.

Currently is a whole other story lol. Didn't happen for me unfortunately & in a places where I've lost those values (and abused yay) hence why I'm here but yeah it depends on your circumstances and a lot of things, who you are etc. I never felt myself ever needing anybody but due to feeling betrayed by people around me that's obviously changed more out of a state of desperation/ no composure etc. It definitely helps. But knowing who and what you need is even better.
It's easier to get life on a route when you actually know yourself well and when/where you thrive best if you've felt that before and know the kind of person you are and your needs - it's a cycle. When you don't know or haven't felt that then it's basically impossible
 
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C

Cathy Ames

Hopeless
Mar 11, 2022
1,197
I don't think a thing described as "an active social life" is important at all. But I think social support is necessary, and it is vitally important to feel a sense of community or connection with at least one other person.
 
Laggy

Laggy

Member
Jul 20, 2018
36
I'd like to say it's not essential, but I'm not sure. There are hermits in the world that are content and not suicidal, right? On the other hand, I've been reading about a concept called "thwarted belongingness" and how it seems to be consistent among suicidal people - so maybe it is necessary for us to feel like we belong in a community?
 
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M

Moonomyth

Student
Feb 6, 2020
120
It's useful insofar as feeling like you belong somewhere is an important part of recovery, but it's also the case that nothing can make you feel like you don't belong like attempting and failing to have such a social life. High-risk activity.
 
abyss

abyss

Member
Jul 13, 2022
54
Vital for staving off encroaching mental illnesses (the ones that can be helped anyway).
I'm usually at my worst when completely isolating myself. Even after talking to co-workers I feel a bit better.
I have no real friends, I've just been thinking about that today. If I had friends they would probably help me get over heartbreak by distraction if nothing else.
However it can be difficult to go out into the world too, people are very judgmental and if you suffer from jealously and low self-esteem, it can be nerve racking.
I thought I was ok on my own but I had completely lost touch with reality and my expectations gradually went to nil.
Overall, I would say it's highly important, you just have to accept it's not easy.
 
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Niko66

Niko66

Specialist
Dec 6, 2021
348
Depends what you are recovering from in the first place, however I would say it's by all intents and purposes essential for a healthy human being to have a healthy social life, what that looks like may differ but I think every one of us needs it, it's fundamental to being human, it's fundamental even for most animals but we have taken cooperation as a survival mechanism to a whole new level, from biology to societal circumstances social life, belonging, connection is needed. From a development standpoint we need love and support to thrive. Loneliness is similar or worse for your lifespan than many deadly habits like obesity and heavy smoking and naturally so it is as important for our mental health.
 
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,251
Absolutely necessary in most cases. Loneliness is what kills most suicidal people, it's quite obvious.
 
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X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,734
Vital for staving off encroaching mental illnesses (the ones that can be helped anyway).
I'm usually at my worst when completely isolating myself. Even after talking to co-workers I feel a bit better.
I have no real friends, I've just been thinking about that today. If I had friends they would probably help me get over heartbreak by distraction if nothing else.
However it can be difficult to go out into the world too, people are very judgmental and if you suffer from jealously and low self-esteem, it can be nerve racking.
I thought I was ok on my own but I had completely lost touch with reality and my expectations gradually went to nil.
Overall, I would say it's highly important, you just have to accept it's not easy.
Hard agree. It's definitely a double-edged sword.

I work in retail and meet so many lonely old people. You can tell which ones have been alone for a while. They are very sensitive and take any deviation from their expectations as a slight. I remember this one old woman in an electric scooter didn't believe me when I said I hadn't gotten a chance to try out the yogurt & granola combo she recommended. She lit up like a Christmas tree next time she came through the line and I told her I'd tried it.

I think having issues with connecting begets more of the same. You're kind of damned if you and damned if you don't.
 
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WhitePill

WhitePill

Pilferer
Jul 27, 2022
20
Recovering without a social life is like learning to communicate in another language without people. Very difficult. You don't get the same level of motivation, feedback, or responsibility to improve and participate without interacting with the most dynamic and meaningful parts of our existence - other people.
 
slushy

slushy

Member
Feb 19, 2022
67
god i wish i could have one. socially im completely stranded. live in my parent's house in the middle of nowhere and cant drive. and my circumstances wont change for a very long time. as a child i was pulled out of school to be homeschooled so ive never had a friend in real life. not even one acquaintance. i wonder how much that has contributed to my problems. or if it's just something convenient for me to pin everything on
 
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X

x_riverrock11

Enlightened
Jan 24, 2021
1,734
god i wish i could have one. socially im completely stranded. live in my parent's house in the middle of nowhere and cant drive. and my circumstances wont change for a very long time. as a child i was pulled out of school to be homeschooled so ive never had a friend in real life. not even one acquaintance. i wonder how much that has contributed to my problems. or if it's just something convenient for me to pin everything on
Is there any way you can go to school elsewhere? Can you get a job and take the bus until you can afford a shorty car? You need to get out of there.
 
slushy

slushy

Member
Feb 19, 2022
67
Is there any way you can go to school elsewhere? Can you get a job and take the bus until you can afford a shorty car? You need to get out of there.
like i said it really is the middle of nowhere. there is no bus. there is nowhere within walking or biking distance. i would have no way to even get to a job every day. i cant pay the price to live in a dorm. i dont have that money