- Jun 27, 2018
As I sit by the bridge and look at the suicide prevention net. I'm upset I came here to just jump. But now that's not going to happen. And all I have with me are pills I dont know if it's even enough to end it all. It's over 3000 milgrams but I've been down this road. I'll wake up again in ICU with a few months stay in a hospital. I've been alone for days hurting badly wanting a way out. I can never be happy here. The losses are to great. With more hell in front of me I truly dont understand how I got here . As tears fill my eyes I feel surrounded by grief and death. I dont know why every attempt is failed when so many others succeed. Why cant I. I haven't been home in days just searching for that thing that will just end my life . Why cant I find it it all seems so hopeless I'm not happy here ,dont wanna be here and cant bear what's to come. My fiance and daughter with someone else. Life is so cruel even the water is gray to me. I dont want ro awake in the morning . So I just swallowed the entire bottle and I'll sit here . You can park here for 24 hours before they say anything . Hopefully I'll get the results I'm looking for. Today I hope its my day.