- Sep 27, 2020
I am desperately trying to slough my way through life. I have been abused in so many ways, struggle with physical and mental illness, and just feel...exhausted. I have recently come out as a trans man and am transitioning, and feel more security in my sexuality and gender than ever. But now there is crippling dysphoria I had always pushed to the back of my mind. My one best friend does not support me, my family does not support me, and I have already met cruelty for it in my day to day and I haven't even started hrt yet. I have joined a trans support group, I have taken steps to be more healthy, continued medication and therapy, done everything right... And still there is so much suicidal ideation. I feel like I will never escape my pain and truly recover. I have a partner who loves me, more friends than I did before... But I still feel as if I have no future. I struggle to work and make money. I struggle to do everything. How can I recover and move forward when death seems like the solution to all my problems?