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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,845
“Grow up. Go back to your mother. You should just “forgive” her.”

What a bunch of bull.
Tell that bitch to “grow up” and stop fucking with me and bribing criminals and stalkers and HELP ME. Stop enabling thieves and pieces of shit to keep shattering me and then driving to Walmart and refusing to get on a plane to HELP. Stop allowing people to steal from you. They kept infantalizing me and playing little fucking games. Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme. And using “stuff” just to fuck my day up.

“Grow up. Go back to your mother. You should just “forgive” her.”

“Grow up” would mean “get the fuck out of your mothers house.”

They really want you there.

They “love” you.

No they don’t. They love fucking with me and ignoring me and playing little fuckin “games” with me all the time.

“No. Because I want to kill her. I want to kill her.”

“Grow up. Go back to your mother. You should just “forgive” her.”

“Why? Just to fuck with me some more and keep lying and talking shit about me?”

God. I wanted out. So badly, from the abuse. People listen for “keys” about how to abuse someone and repeat the abuse.

Then they tell someone “don’t help her.” Because. Just because. They want her so badly. Then they abuse her and sniff her crotch and lie about it. If she isn’t getting abused, they don’t like the person. They liked the abuse.

I should’ve gotten away at 19. I could have gotten help with school and math and everything else. Instead, they bought a rapist a car and told me to stay. I told her that he was abusing me and calling me “crazy” for screaming in the middle of the night when he’d booby trap the house, hover over me in the bathroom and refuse to leave the room. All of the above. All the stalking and lying. Fucking with me when I asked for quiet time or alone time or time to study. I was desperate for a job and school and then when I got back to the hell hole it was just more abuse. Begging him to stop pestering, stop asking, stop hitting me, stop biting me, stop hurting me, stop wasting my eardrums, stop pushing me for attention. He was terrible! The family was terrible and I should’ve been able to get out but I couldn’t: I was afraid. And it kept going on.

Oh well.

Same thing kept going on. Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? How many times of play pretend and go “are you okay” and “go back to your mommy” would it take to literally commit suicide or murder? The fuck you care about what I do in the god damn bathtub for? Unless it was to HARASS ME or say “can I lick your pussy?” GET OUT. NO. I HOVER and fuck with her and fuck with her and fuck with her and ignore her when she says “STOP.” Same things when you’re asleep or in public. Slap, grope, slap, grope, heheheheehe. No, it’s not funny.

The mother was a fuckin psycho and literally drove her daughter into suicide. Mental breakdowns all the time and then lied. And people lied. Lied and lied and lied. Trigger trigger trigger. All for Teresa the terrorist. Thank god it’s over now. But how to move on? I mean she wouldn’t “let” me get on with my life. Fuck. At 19. I had to get out. And I watched every day go by suffering the same torment. And again at 23. And then at 24, suicide attempt. Still ignoring me as usual and broadcasting my “problems” refusing to let me out of the fucking abuse. Survived. Here play pretend mommy Münchausen syndrome and like it’s “so much better” - it wasn’t. Here’s a guy who only cares about his MOMMY and his DOGGEEE. Same thing. Stupidity.
Want a vacation?
Sure. Gone.
Omg wahhhh she did this?! Why?! Because she doesn’t like you because you wouldn’t move out of your mothers house or get her out of hers and stop being a snitch and a pervert and an ass.
“Because I’m 12.” Okay sure. Game after game after game and time after time after time, just wasting fucking money and time being ridiculous and arrogant.

Hey guess what? They filmed what they did, said there was a “rumor.” Lol, stupidity, not funny.

Out I leave again, oh holidays, oh wahh.

Hey go get your half dead tweaker so I can “take care” of him. Ok. So wonderful, there you go, and then, no my bruvver died I want his moooneeeeeey. So selfish. God damn it teresa always trying to get into shit and being selfish.

Maybe suicide that January was a good idea.

But no. I’ll leave and try again. Let’s keep working on this. And then, shattered, oh boy, what a nightmare, the family’s “wedding” and annual backstabbing and arrogant game. Arrogant game after arrogant game. Then “move on.” Fine. Ok. “Well you should do this, you should do that, you should do this, you should do that.” Trying to please everyone that couldn’t be pleased. Driving me insane. That’s it. I “give up.”

Then she died. Finally. Good. But her husband? Trying to rape you. Scare you. Steal life insurance. Hide shit. No surprise.
“Well I’m too busy with my dogeee.”
Well I need time offf from work. Well I need out of here. Well I made an error on paperwork. Well this is a nightmare. Well this goes from bad to worse, worse again, worse after that, worse again. And then. Bad. Again. Take turns talking. Stop yelling. Please stop. God damn fucking games make shit as hard as possible. Walk away. Woo. Rape again. And then. Walk away. And then abuse and explosive abuse. And more explosive abuse and passing time. And then finally out! Thank goodnesss… oh the nightmare only continues.

Should’ve got on a train out of there and been gone and filled out the proper address.

And then and then… yeah no kidding.

And then… again. And then…. Again. And then again. And then. What the fuck. Again. And then. Finally. Then. Again. And then. Finally. And then. Again. Damn it.

Stagnant and depression and frustration. I wanted a normal life, I’m here again at 27. And I “knew” this was going to happen repeatedly.
 
Last edited:
freemindnsoul

freemindnsoul

Wizard
Sep 29, 2021
649
I'm sorry. I have no WORDs. This is so dramatic. Don't listen to anyone who says forgive her, she is your mother, ...etc. What is more important: don't feel guilting about hating your mom.
 
W

waitingforrest

Student
Dec 27, 2021
152
She may be your mother, but that doesn't mean she is entitled to forgiveness. I was shunned for not forgiving a family member on their death bed, but I knew they didn't deserve it. Forgiveness is earned, and you have every right to stay bitter. Those that say you should forgive after all that has happened to you don't understand at all. Abuse stays with people forever.
 
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D

Depressed Cat

Experienced
Jan 4, 2022
240
This is so disturbing to read. :aw: I'm sorry to hear that you suffered so much abuse. You have every right to remain bitter about the torture you went through. You don't have to forgive your mother, you need to forget her completely to help yourself heal. I wish you the best.
 
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