• Welcome! SanctionedSuicide is a forum for the discussion of mental illness and suicide. Please read our rules and our Principles.
    If you are in need of immediate support, please call the Samaritans hotline at (877) 870-4673, or check our recovery resources.

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Super duper enlightened
Sep 9, 2018
1,707
Do you ever think about sex acts you wish you had the opportunity to carry out before you ctb? I'm not talking about the kind of boring/vanilla stuff you do with a partner, more so the thing that really gets you off or you are kind of secretive about.

I feel like in a way it's cruel and messed up to raise whole generations of people on porn, who will never get to experience the type of stuff that really gets them off. We look at animated pixels for years on end and have no idea what this or that would actually be like. I always wanted to try something like group sex for instance, but will never have that chance.

How do you feel about this?
 
Caustic Cardinals

Caustic Cardinals

Enlightened
Sep 1, 2018
1,340
Do you ever think about sex acts you wish you had the opportunity to carry out before you ctb? I'm not talking about the kind of boring/vanilla stuff you do with a partner, more so the thing that really gets you off or you are kind of secretive about.

I feel like in a way it's cruel and messed up to raise whole generations of people on porn, who will never get to experience the type of stuff that really gets them off. We look at animated pixels for years on end and have no idea what this or that would actually be like. I always wanted to try something like group sex for instance, but will never have that chance.

How do you feel about this?



01010011 01100101 01111000 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100011 01100101 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110000 01100101 01101111 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01110111 01101001 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100001 01110010 01101111 01110101 01101110 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101
 
H

hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
I think you can't forget that a lot of the sex acts depicted there are not things a lot of, if not most women are into-anal being the new norm, BDSM and all kinds of other stuff. So you have to find someone willing to do that and even with the new hype of all this. I personally only know two people who are a bit into that and they only do light bondage-nothing like some of the scenes depicted in porn. And I wouldn't say that my friends or the people I know are only into vanilla sex in missionary.
I personally don't watch porn and think it is a bad influence on people.
 
L

lv-gras

fledermausßßßßßßßß
Jul 27, 2018
623
have a lot of sympathy for this,

but not sure about the porn angle, personally have never watched porn much and am into some pretty strange stuff, think people are kinda that way
 
ninaevol

ninaevol

Member
Aug 2, 2018
58
I'm into BDSM, and all sorts of shit. Nothing too crazy though. I've been watching porn for years, and finally got to try it out. There's still a lot more I want to try but death is more of interest to me rn than sex. Sex is fun, but I've been using it to fill some sort of void, and it hasn't been working. Just leaves me empty.
 
MEoDP

MEoDP

Specialist
Sep 2, 2018
347
I guess I can count myself somewhat lucky here. I'm a complete fetishist,and I did indeed get the opportunity to fulfill it once. It happened when I was actively looking for meth,because I really wanted to try it. I met a woman who could deliver it. at one point,when I was gonna pay her for both the product and delivery,she didn't have change,and was asking me for the entire bill.(which would result in me overpaying her.)

I then got the idea to..."ask" her for a favor in exchange for the extra cash. She obliged,and it actually resulted in a brief toxic pseudo-relationship between us. (I eventually had to ghost. she was a compulsive liar and associating with her became too dangerous)

I still look at that memory with a smile on my face,even though it was a really reckless moment of my life,I don't regret it one bit.
 
MEoDP

MEoDP

Specialist
Sep 2, 2018
347
I’m curious but why
Why I asked for the "favor?" All because she didn't have change,and I didn't want to just give her double the payment we agreed without some additional compensation. I also couldn't allow her to owe me,because I get the feeling this isn't the type of person who is faithful about paying debts. (and my subsequent tryst with her proved me right)

The interaction itself resulted in a win-win for the 2 of us. she gets double the pay(and she was smiley and giddy about it),I get to fulfill my...um,dirty little secret. :devil:
 
M

Miss clefable

-
Aug 23, 2018
1,589
Why I asked for the "favor?" All because she didn't have change,and I didn't want to just give her double the payment we agreed without some additional compensation. I also couldn't allow her to owe me,because I get the feeling this isn't the type of person who is faithful about paying debts. (and my subsequent tryst with her proved me right)

The interaction itself resulted in a win-win for the 2 of us. she gets double the pay(and she was smiley and giddy about it),I get to fulfill my...um,dirty little secret. :devil:
Hhhmmmm most interesting
 
  • Like
Reactions: Angel Goddess
NoLifeNoPain

NoLifeNoPain

-
Jun 17, 2018
1,364
The more I masturbate, the more I understand that it's not the act itself that I like but the high that I get from it. The act of sex is animalistic and repulsive. Sometimes you look at a girl and you think you like her, what you really want is to bang her. Love is really just nature's trick to force you to reproduce. I have no interest in that anymore.
 
N

Nofaith

...
Sep 16, 2018
343
I'm into BDSM, and all sorts of shit. Nothing too crazy though. I've been watching porn for years, and finally got to try it out. There's still a lot more I want to try but death is more of interest to me rn than sex. Sex is fun, but I've been using it to fill some sort of void, and it hasn't been working. Just leaves me empty.

I tried to "fill the void" pun intended but I don't feel anything during sex. No matter who I'm with whether casual or a partner, I feel nothing. I don't know whether it's something physical or emotional or both.

I have tons of unfilled sexual fantasies and once joined a site to fulfil them. Once I realised I still wasn't feeling pleasure from the vanilla stuff, there was no point in engaging in the freaky stuff.

So it's become like everything else in my life, it's not gonna happen and I have come to accept that.
 
N

Nofaith

...
Sep 16, 2018
343
The more I masturbate, the more I understand that it's not the act itself that I like but the high that I get from it. The act of sex is animalistic and repulsive. Sometimes you look at a girl and you think you like her, what you really want is to bang her. Love is really just nature's trick to force you to reproduce. I have no interest in that anymore.

Good observation. I think relationships would be more healthy if people had insight on what they really want and were truthful about it.
 
T

TooLate2582

Experienced
May 6, 2018
262
Porn and masturbation to it is cancer. If you want it, go get it. I do vanilla, I do light, consensual play and I do extreme rack play with few hard limits. There isn’t much I haven’t done. It fills a void, yes. It’s also a confidence booster. I’ve gotten more action in my mid 30s than I ever did in high school, and I thought that was a large amount. It honestly keeps me going some days. Breaking the fear barrier is the hardest part, it’s surprisingly easy to go home with someone.

My main attraction is to girls who are dumpster fires like myself. When two people can connect on a deep primal level *and* on a similar emotional level, they really put everything into it and it’s pretty amazing.
 
BurningLights

BurningLights

He killed himself with his own mind
Jul 2, 2018
709
Porn and masturbation to it is cancer. If you want it, go get it. I do vanilla, I do light, consensual play and I do extreme rack play with few hard limits. There isn’t much I haven’t done. It fills a void, yes. It’s also a confidence booster. I’ve gotten more action in my mid 30s than I ever did in high school, and I thought that was a large amount. It honestly keeps me going some days. Breaking the fear barrier is the hardest part, it’s surprisingly easy to go home with someone.

My main attraction is to girls who are dumpster fires like myself. When two people can connect on a deep primal level *and* on a similar emotional level, they really put everything into it and it’s pretty amazing.
Where can I find these 'dumpster fires' just out of curiosity of course....
 
T

TooLate2582

Experienced
May 6, 2018
262
Where can I find these 'dumpster fires' just out of curiosity of course....

To add, it’d not just about banging crazy girls. It’s way deeper than that. It’s the connection we share that is amplified by the sex.

Right now, I’m with this girl, she’s a solid 8 to anyone at the bar but she’s a cutter, has a childhood full of trauma of all varieties and currently has a shitty boyfriend. She self medicates with alcohol and I’m usually the one that has to clean up the mess. Conversely, she’ll pull me out of my depressive holes and keeps me going when things get bad.

We get each other in so many ways. We pick each other up, keep each other going. We’ll hook up every once in a while and when we do, it’s the most amazing thing. All of our pain, all of our fear, all of our sadness, everything....it’s taken out in that act. We both realize that we would be super toxic for each other in a full time relationship so it’s the way it is. It’s friends with benefits where the benefits are not just sex.