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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

Falls in love
Nov 25, 2021
388
I'm still struggling with sleep deprivation after all of it. 1-2 hours a night, not allowed more than that, 3 hours if I'm lucky and they're sleeping. Try to sleep, no they won't let me, 0 hours sleep. It's awful and nothing I can do about it. Never being able to sleep when you want to and always being tired and needing to sleep sucks.

Getting no sleep is unhealthy, getting no sleep in a long time gives me physical symptoms like worse headaches, worst chest pain and worse fatigue, and means I can barely be awake when I need to get anything done and I have zero energy and motivation normally anyway even if I wasn't dead tired. Why do they keep doing this to me. I'm so damn tired. I can't afford to anymore, I'm trying to give my 110% to someone very, very, very special so they can recover, but I need sleep for that.

There's no vent tag in Recovery for some reason, but this is a vent. Vent opened by having no control over it and Stellabelle's vent post here. It's awful trying to recover when you still have to deal with fuckface problems. I wish I could sleep. I missed them again tonight. Let me sleep.

Replies will mostly hurt me I don't really want to talk about it. I tried everything in my power and energy. I just spent a whole bunch on Amazon to get things to try to get me to sleep through it. I need to sleep for a special someone so I can be awake for them. I need to sleep through it somehow.
 
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freemindnsoul

freemindnsoul

Wizard
Sep 29, 2021
649
I'm sorry to hear that. Insomnia is awful. 1-2 hours of sleep is nothing. You must be tired.

Do you remember/know what might have caused this? any change in your daily routine/medication/nutrition/...etc? I used to take 5HTP supplements and they made me awake all night so I started taking them in the morning
 
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noaccount

Wizard
Oct 26, 2019
656
Honestly at that point, I would say whatever I had to to get myself into a DV shelter, say whatever I had to to get myself into a hospital bed, or even run away to a normal homeless shelter. Anything else in the world basically sounds less awful than that. :(
 
little helpers

little helpers

did I tie the tourniquet on my arm or on my neck?
Dec 14, 2021
522
Severe sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture. Nobody should have to go through it. It can be a part of parenthood to some degree or perhaps pet ownership, but it's hard to suggest any course of action without knowing the specifics of the situation. Hope you can find a way to get proper rest soon.

^ this.

pet ownership though, I talk to someone through PM on SS. fae has sleep paralysis a lot (as with me) and says faer dog helps a lot with that. I heard lots about how sleeping with a pet dog or cat helps too. my cat purring has a surprisingly calming effect on me. they say it’s got to do with brain waves synchronizing or something. also just comforting overall to have touch (grooming behavior, signaling social friendliness) and company. I fucking love it when my cat licks my face. it’s bonding and soothing for me.