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Cosmic panic
May 18, 2018
I hate to come here only to vent. But I have only one virtual friend that fairly understands and I hate to overwhelm him with my whining.

I've spent my whole life waiting. Waiting for something to change, waiting for me to change, for a rescuer, for a spark of motivation, some determination, anything. I'm 37 and still waiting.

I'm miserable. I'd imagine I'm no fun for regular people to be around. Who cares about their career goals, vacations, and families?

I try to stay to myself so as not to spread negativity. But at the same time, I want everyone to know I'm angry as fuck!

I try to post on here or Reddit when I feel a bit more positive. Which means, I'm rarely posting. I would like to say more but i fear isolating myself from the only group of people that just might understand my dilemma. Wanting to not exist and being afraid to make that happen.

They've added an additional $50 to trash fees so my rent has increased. I could write someone to complain but to what avail. I'll still be poor. Just making enough to maintain my lackluster existence.

I'm waiting to get fired. That will be my reason to just get on with it. I could just quit, right? But that means making a definitive decision about my life and I can't seem to do that.

If anyone reads this, thank you. Hope you're all relatively well.


Sep 13, 2018
Hope and pray it gets better life is hard but do try...