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Querlista

Querlista

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2021
Messages
74
Idk why I'm here again, I'm having a bad day and Idk.. just need to ramble about what's going on in my head lately
So, I've been bulimic since I was 16 (24 now). I got hospitalized two times last year due to failed attempts (aka people finding amd admitting me before they succeeded) and it was a horrible time leading uo to my attempts as well as being IP but I kinda miss it?
I've been better since january, like a LOT better and I do NOT wish to be in that mind set again. I'd rather kill myself lol but I miss being cared for. I miss people being concerned. The second time I attempted my surrounding didn't even react anymore, my mother never even asekd what happened but the first time everyone wanted to visit and listen to me. Urgh Idk what I want..
I've been obsessed with loosing weight lately. As I said I've been bulimic for a few years now with several temporal recoveries and atm it's not that huge issue but Idk I want to be anorexic so bad. I KNOW how bad EDs feel amd how isolated they make you and how hard it is to stop. I do. And I know it would ruin all the progress I made. But I still really want to be underweight and be admitted with a feeding tube, being force fed, weight every day, forced to go to therapy and what every. Idk I'm having a bad day and my brain is confusing me and I'm honestly just waiting for the day to pass bit at the same time I don't want it to pass ever as I never want to get up and go places and go on with my life again. I wish I was dead so I wouldn't have to think anymore
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
7,347
I really wanna lose weight too but I'm just a mess and love junk food and alcohol.

Whatever happens, I hope things get better somehow.

Hugs and love,

Matt
 
Querlista

Querlista

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2021
Messages
74
WornOutLife said:
I really wanna lose weight too but I'm just a mess and love junk food and alcohol.

Whatever happens, I hope things get better somehow.

Hugs and love,

Matt
Thanks, Matt ❤
I do appreciate you responding. I wish you the best too and may we drop those pounds lol
 
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