Rose Mirren

Rose Mirren

roses are so overrated
Dec 10, 2018
101
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
 
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therhydler

therhydler

Enlightened
Dec 7, 2018
1,197
Dread and disbelief. That it has come to this. It feels like my heart is being torn open every second afresh. Anger at myself that I can see no other way. And disgust
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,352
I feel like shit today and got little accomplished. I think I have a sleep phase disorder so in the morning it’s just hell. I can’t get moving or mindfuck myself into it lol! I felt so insecure today about everything it sucked. I bleached my hair and getting ready to dye some pink into it :) I guess that gave me a tiny bit of joy. Different hair to look at. I did shower, brush teeth, eat.
 
Rose Mirren

Rose Mirren

roses are so overrated
Dec 10, 2018
101
I feel like shit today and got little accomplished. I think I have a sleep phase disorder so in the morning it’s just hell. I can’t get moving or mindfuck myself into it lol! I felt so insecure today about everything it sucked. I bleached my hair and getting ready to dye some pink into it :) I guess that gave me a tiny bit of joy. Different hair to look at. I did shower, brush teeth, eat.
Hey, congrats on showering, brushing, and eating! Also, I feel you. I looked in the mirror once and it was like I didn't look like how I felt... so I dyed my hair HAHAHA and for the first time too! It did bring happiness that lasted for quite a while. Glad you're doing something that makes you even just a tiny bit happy :)
 
Rose Mirren

Rose Mirren

roses are so overrated
Dec 10, 2018
101
Ready to die. I can't believe I say this. It was always kinda like distant thought, but right now it feels I'm so ready. It may feel different tomorrow, but right now...ready!
Even if you feel different tomorrow, that won't invalidate your being ready to die right now. At least being sure abt something kinda lessens the chaos, right?
 
S

sólstafir

Experienced
Nov 1, 2018
208
Even if you feel different tomorrow, that won't invalidate your being ready to die right now. At least being sure abt something kinda lessens the chaos, right?

Exactly how you expressed it -'being sure about something lessens the chaos' indeed!
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,352
My pink didn’t take evenly :(“ but I applied it evenly. Ugh! Lol! It’s a semipermanent color and I have stuff to remove it easy but I was excited for it to turn out. My hair has been my ongoing project lately lol! I’m trying to keep it light but just not bleach blond. It’s a bit too light for my complexion.