• Hey Visitor,

    In light of recent events, all community members in the US should reach out to their representative in regards to the Stop Online Suicide Assistance Forums Act that has been introduced in congress. This bill, if passed, could criminalize this community and hold it liable for simply hosting information.

    You should be able to locate and contact your represenative by going to this website. You can also contact Lori Trahan, the one spearheading this bill by calling her office at (202) 225-3411 or by leaving a message on the contact form on her site.

    One of the best ways to combat this is to make your voice heard. We're not political activists, but we made this notice to let you know that you do have a voice and that you do have representives that represent you in congress.
O

outatime_85

Mage
May 17, 2022
528
A snippet from one of my journal entries:

Every day, I gradually realize that, despite the fact that I am a defective product, there is still a part of me that wonders what it is like to connect with someone in every way possible, to feel safe with someone so safe that one can be vulnerable, letting emotions out that have been bottled up for decades, crying without being perceived as weak, and what it is like to have a bond that is not just superficial, not just an acquaintance, being with people that have time and have room in their lives for me.
 
Zegers

Zegers

Elementalist
Dec 15, 2021
880
Forlorn

The doc advised me to taking Sertraline again as i had not taken it for a few months, since i have started taking it again i notice how the irrational SI
is stronger and it undermines my determination to ctb, in summer I was determined but now i feel fuzzy i think that once i have everything ready it will take a while to take the leap
 
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Gray Wounds

Gray Wounds

A Phantasmagoria
Jun 27, 2018
570
Too dark and too cold. Every eye's on me. I want to curl up and just scream. Continuous, blood-curling screaming until I lose my voice, until my ears pop. Maybe then I can expel the suffering. Fucking suffering. Always suffering. It never ends. I see the sun today and then the next second it's dark again. Never an afternoon to spend. Always darker than night. The ants are keeping me awake. I wonder if that will be the same when my body's inside the coffin and ants will be crawling around me. Will someone flick them off and say things that are real good to hear when I was still around and alive. The animals are croaking. Danger. A warning. Goddamn. This world's awful. It's too fucking mortal. And morbid.
 
GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,914
How shitty the world has to be for people to go out of their way to take the option of killing yourself from others? Like, you're so out of ideas when it comes to offering people something more attractive than dying, that your only option is to make it physically impossible for people to end their lives. If it is just because suicidal people are too mentally ill to comprehend other options, why is there a need to restrict access to means of suicide outside of psychiatric hospitals? Oh, you cannot put everyone who needs it into a hospital because there aren't enough resources? See question 1 then.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
dont you just love when people bitch after you give them the answer :meh: like shut up, youre your own worst enemy
context (my husband is rolling me a joint and the papers (that i buy) keep getting fucked up. i told him why, maybe if hed watch the roller instead of the damn tv? "why does this keep happening?" why are you asking if you dont care about the answer.
and theres absolutely nothing i can do expect watch my money get wasted because physical things are stopping me from doing it myself.
im sick of this. i fucking hate all of this.
"i dont want our relationship ending poorly" WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUVE BEEN DOING!!!?? if you dont want it to end poorly, then start helping me fucking pack, not keep me here feeling like shit!!! I hate him, i hate him so much. "but i thought things were going well 😭 " NO!!!!! its called i cant fucking deal with you so i let you do whatever you want so i dont have to hear your fucking bullshit!!!!!!! im sick of you.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 you spend all day literally doing nothing except waiting for your bf to wake up so you can have something that makes you feel good and he unintentionally upsets you....im not even gonna mention it. whatever, he can just go do his thing and ill "forget" about him for the rest of the day. well as good as i can forget someone thats always on my mind..
 
  • Aww..
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
god, people are so fucking idiotic!!
(context: it was probably a prolife forum. what i do know is they have no idea what theyre talking about)
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
me: im not feeling suicidal
also me: i feel like hanging myself for fun because im bored
i think im broken lol
 
  • Hugs
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Idiewithmybalaclava

Idiewithmybalaclava

When all is lost, all is found
Sep 23, 2022
158
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
Very empty and anxious a bit.
 
  • Like
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Maudlin

Maudlin

Experienced
Dec 10, 2021
290
I feel like if I actually type what's really on my mind people in clean white coats are going to show up.

 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Dead Ghost
Dead Horse

Dead Horse

Hopeless, but literally
Nov 14, 2018
72
As much as I love being alone and hate being with other people, it seems that the loneliness will always get to you in the end. I crave a relationship but I'd hate it if I had one, and at this point, I'm totally unable to be in one, anyway. FML
 
Jester

Jester

Student
Dec 19, 2019
150
Tiredness. I'm tired of being a slave to my obsessive/intrusive thoughts. I miss the good old days when I didn't have to bear this load called OCD. I'm really tired. Sometimes I wish I could sleep and never wake up again.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
fucked over. from birth we're told we can just trust certain people; our parents, cops, doctors.
ive been fucked over by all 3.
my parents abused me
the cops sent me back even after saying im suicidal
ive had a doctor tell me im going to die and then refuse to help me

i never plan on it, but if i ever have a child the LAST thing im EVER going to teach them is that you can trust people.
(rant inspired by getting fucked over by the pharmacists)
why do i even bother trying to help myself. i do and then someone comes along and pushes me back over. why wont humans just hand me the fucking gun!
 
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O

outatime_85

Mage
May 17, 2022
528
An entry from one of my journals.

There will be no

one to check on me in my old age.

I leave behind a partner.

genes moving forward.

surrounded by loved ones.

thoughts or memories about me.

one who looks for me if or when I go missing.

one or any family to find my body.

kind words spoken of me when I die.
 
Kim Dokja

Kim Dokja

"Please, finish my story."
Nov 25, 2020
142
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
Overwhelmed by how horrible people can be and how hard life is
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
i have zero idea why i bother getting help. no one ever helps
on another forum (a support forum) i made a post say im scared, dealing with really bad triggers and that i need help. 2 fucking days and not a single comment. no "hugs im with you" no "have you tried..." nothing, absolutely nothing. im fucking serious, why do i bother trying to get help?
 
Gray Wounds

Gray Wounds

A Phantasmagoria
Jun 27, 2018
570
I loathe pity. But most of all, I loathe the toxicity of a someone. I've loved you. All i ask is for you to acknowledge me as you always do in our chat and in my other house whenever you see me on the streets. Why treat me as a fucking stranger? Ah, yes. You're ashamed of me.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,598
anorexia, i threw up twice this morning.....
but im finally liking myself when i look in the mirror...
im not in a position to change out eating for exercise....

at the same time i dont like it because of why/how it is....
 
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