Out of order
- Feb 21, 2021
Will I ever be truly happy? Only when the past stops haunting me, it seems.
Anger, raw almost inconsolable rage. My brothers and sisters were shot in a Colorado bar. One politician is stating that they, the dead are now roasting in hell?!! (Another person I wish I had some quality time alone with). Others calling it the homocaust?!! Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) with her hateful comments. That fat kid Anderson Lee Aldrich, just give me five minutes in a room alone with his fat ass. I am barely hanging on by using logic. We all have people we don't like, but damn if I can see deliberately going to their space and killing them. The idiots that go around thinking that they are the ones going to be doing the hurting, should understand that they too can be on the receiving end of hurt. Going to try some meditation and TCH gummies when I get home to try to calm down. thanks for listening.Too dark and too cold. Every eye's on me. I want to curl up and just scream. Continuous, blood-curling screaming until I lose my voice, until my ears pop. Maybe then I can expel the suffering. Fucking suffering. Always suffering. It never ends. I see the sun today and then the next second it's dark again. Never an afternoon to spend. Always darker than night. The ants are keeping me awake. I wonder if that will be the same when my body's inside the coffin and ants will be crawling around me. Will someone flick them off and say things that are real good to hear when I was still around and alive. The animals are croaking. Danger. A warning. Goddamn. This world's awful. It's too fucking mortal. And morbid.