- Mar 17, 2018
I feel like such a burden not only on my family but everyone that i've ever became acquaintances with. Truly I do wish I could just fade away from existence without a trace, no memories left and with it the weight of my burden. My online friend who i've grown quite attatched to recently attempted to CTB and I suppose failed.. not entirely sure if they tried it again but they've gone completely quite. Shamefully to admit, as much as I didn't want to think of them to go through with it.. I was also envious that they were able to leave just like that while I stick around. Everything just feels so overwhelming lately, I can't understand why it won't just stop. It's not fair that I get a family that loves me as much as one should, while some who do actually want to live don't get that. I hate it here, I can't see anything but guilt, shame, and pain ahead of me.