- Mar 3, 2021
Exhausted, sad, regretful, despair, constant internal screaming, torn between life and death
HI! I totally agree with the last part of your post about jobs that demotivate a person. I was at the same firm for almost 30 years, then good ol' covid came along and I got laid off last June, 2020. I have searched high and low for something half decent, and at least in my part of the world, the pay is really, really poor. Everyone deserves to be treated like they are truly part of a company . Where I was for so many years, I treated everyone the same, no matter their position. I knew the first names of the guards, janitors, everyone. WE are all the same and no matter what function one does within a firm it is very important. WalterFehler said:I was somewhat tense these days because my mother told me the typical phrase “I think you and I have to talk one day". I thought that after so many years and some other failure she would have some idea of my intentions, but luckily it was not the case, she was only worried about my lack of motivation to find a job. I mean, if I plan to leave before the end of the year, why was I going to spend my last months working? Obviously I did not tell her that, but I gave her to understand not to worry, that I "have already an age" and I would manage.
After almost a decade I signed up in temporary work companies, job web pages and the job board of my region and town and that the few jobs that I did I found on my own...you end up demotivated.
When I read your post, I cried for you, as far as I also have massive depression, and it truly hurts everywhere. I really want you to know that I have heart felt love and support for you. We as a family share joy and grief as one and with that aspect said, I send you lots of smiles, hugs, empathy and SUPPORT with the hope that this week has a lot of beautiful blue sunny skies for you to relax in and feel the warm sunshine and cool breezes flow over you. We are all family here and I will be thinking of you this week with the hope that you can enjoy some relaxing time. Hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, we are one global loving family. Walterkilledbypsychiatry said:I’ve been feeling such a severe depression to the point that it physically hurts. I am so tired of this. So so tired of living in this diseased body and brain. Everyday feels like torture and I feel no escape. Grieving my life, severe rage towards doctors who did this, depression, pain... I worry about hurting my family but I just want the pain to end. My brain and body are so injured, bedridden most of the time, feeling severe depression, constant flashbacks and bursts of rage. I just want relief.