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goat

goat

Just a goat trying to get in the next bus
Joined
May 18, 2021
Messages
153
Dizzy. I’m just extremely dizzy. I close my eyes but the world won’t stop spinning. Sometimes I feel I’m falling too (literally. I feel I’m falling from a very high place out of nowhere while wide awake)
I just went grocery shop for soap and some haribo candy lol i fell down on the candies corridor cause of dizziness.
That’s about it
 
WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Joined
Mar 22, 2020
Messages
7,333
Exhausted.
Yesterday, I was supposed to sleep and rest all day but I really wanted to start making YouTube videos again and I did!!!!!!
I had lots of technical issues and had to record my video two times. Also, it was very difficult to edit but well, I've managed to do it and I'm happy now even though I don't know if this channel will work out. At least I've tried it! (btw, my videos are japanese lessons and funny stuff related to Japan. I would love to share it here but there are too many lurkers, unfortunately and also, it's japanese-spanish so, many of you won't understand a single word I say hahah)

Fortunately, today I'll fully recover and do nothing but browse SS, eat snacks and watch some stuff!
 
http-410

http-410

nowhere
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
630
I'm numb, but not as extremely exhausted as usual right now.

I rested for two hours until the early evening and slept for about half an hour in between, after which I didn't feel completely crappy/exhausted for once. I even had the energy to ride my bicycle afterwards. I sat around outside and talked on the phone until the sun went down.

I hope to be able to sleep tonight.
 
Fehler

Fehler

...
Joined
Oct 12, 2020
Messages
439
A mix between wanting and not being able to but at the same time having the option to be able to do it and not want to.
The "what if..." that haunts the head with false positive ideas that only lengthens the inevitable.
The need to connect but the lack of motivation to even start a conversation.
Laughing and having a good time for a few moments but coming back to reality and getting depressed at the moment.
Remember the "attempts" and think that you would no longer be here.
 
E

ElizabethsFault

Had an abusive therapist
Joined
Jun 9, 2021
Messages
46
Rose Mirren said:
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
Confused
 
The Mute Viking

The Mute Viking

ᴀ ᴛᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴏᴇᴛ
Joined
Oct 10, 2018
Messages
159
I fucking love you. You are the only reason I exist. The way I feel for you is so complicated as I try to navigate how the fuck I should be with you.
The way I can be and the way I have to be are vastly different and perhaps that's because I'm fucking scared of hurting you and ruining the beautiful thing we have together.
Many would look at me and criticize me for how part my heart feels for you.
I want to kiss you and take away all your pain. To give you all what you fucking need in this world.
But morally am I even allowed to go to that level with you because the nature of our relationship.
I feeel so fucking conflicted and it's never because I don't want too.
BUT BECAUSE I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO STOP MYSELF FROM VI0LATING WHAT WE HAVE.

I live in a constant of terror that I'm failing you.
That I'll never be good enough no matter what you say to me.
That you will find what you need in someone else.

I don't want to share your love or affection with anyone, in anyway.
But I know I cannot do everything you require, even I desperately want too.

I either have to let you go and find someone who can fulfill you in this way.
Or step up to the plate, swallow my fear of all the bad things that can go wrong.
To lose what we had and replace it with something else.

Please. Someone. Anyone. Save me for what I might do.
 
LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Joined
Apr 27, 2019
Messages
1,327
Still irritated.

Brown-nosers and passive aggressive cowards are not a sight I would like to behold.
It should be known that some people are too busy suffering to deal with such juvenile tactics and laughable displays of irony, petulance, and entitlement.

Next thing I know we will be back in the shit days where people posted cryptic song lyrics to get attention without actually ever saying what type of stick lodged itself up their ass-to justify such manipulative ‘support’ fishing.

It disgusts me to even get this^ close to stooping to their level.
It’s too bad that even a place like this can’t escape the same pitfalls of other types of social media, which I have avoided the majority of my life, and for good reason.

Unacceptable.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Joined
Apr 27, 2019
Messages
1,327
Seaghost said:
Sleepless...04:36a.m. in germany...
That’s about the time I’ve been finally falling asleep, but in another world away.
Insomnia is a bitch.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Joined
Feb 10, 2020
Messages
14,794
Kind of nervous but also very excited for Nintendo’s E3 presentation tomorrow. I hope there’s not too many hype games coming out next year because otherwise I’m going to have to stay alive for even longer than I expected.
 
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poisonedminds

poisonedminds

Student
Joined
May 8, 2021
Messages
156
I feel empty. I wish I had someone in my life whom I could tell how bad things are. but i'm alone. I don't know what to do anymore. This addiction is eating me up inside and I have no dignity left. I just wish things were easier.
 
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goat

goat

Just a goat trying to get in the next bus
Joined
May 18, 2021
Messages
153
I gonna ctb this evening and I’m peaceful with it.
Today I wokeup to memories of amazing people and wonderful moments I had with then in the past, magical dream like moments, and that’s all they became now, dreams, but once they were real. The glimpse of happiness I had briefly is what hurts the much. I’m crying uncontrollably. Yet another thing to make me sure to ctb, I’ll never be able to deal with my broken dream and everything that slipped through my fingers. The ghost of the people that are no longer in my life.
Now I’m miserable, completely alone and with all those memories haunting me.
I don’t want to ctb crying and desperate. Im trying to calm down and meditate to be in a peaceful mood again for tonight.
 
logan

logan

Arcanist
Joined
May 20, 2021
Messages
471
goat said:
I gonna ctb this evening and I’m peaceful with it.
Today I wokeup to memories of amazing people and wonderful moments I had with then in the past, magical dream like moments, and that’s all they became now, dreams, but once they were real. The glimpse of happiness I had briefly is what hurts the much. I’m crying uncontrollably. Yet another thing to make me sure to ctb, I’ll never be able to deal with my broken dream and everything that slipped through my fingers. The ghost of the people that are no longer in my life.
Now I’m miserable, completely alone and with all those memories haunting me.
I don’t want to ctb crying and desperate. Im trying to calm down and meditate to be in a peaceful mood again for tonight.
I can well understand your thoughts and feelings.
Maybe you will be able to relax and calm down and reconsider your plan.
This is really not an easy situation - we are definitely here for you.
 
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goat

goat

Just a goat trying to get in the next bus
Joined
May 18, 2021
Messages
153
logan said:
I can well understand your thoughts and feelings.
Maybe you will be able to relax and calm down and reconsider your plan.
This is really not an easy situation - we are definitely here for you.
Nope, I can’t and I won’t reconsider my plan. My agony comes from being alive and not from my decision to ctb.
 
logan

logan

Arcanist
Joined
May 20, 2021
Messages
471
goat said:
Nope, I can’t and I won’t reconsider my plan. My agony comes from being alive and not from my decision to ctb.
Of course, that is your decision.
I wish you peace in any case and that you make the right decision.
 
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goat

goat

Just a goat trying to get in the next bus
Joined
May 18, 2021
Messages
153
logan said:
Natürlich ist das Deine Entscheidung.
Ich wünsche Dir in jedem Fall Frieden und das Du die richtige Entscheidung triffst.
Thank you, fren :heart:
 
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http-410

http-410

nowhere
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
630
The lack of sleep and the humidity are exhausting.

I would have had an appointment this morning, got up early, but the person didn't show up. They didn't get back to me (on their own). Waited an hour and a half for nothing and my sleep pattern is even more broken than before.
 
Seaghost

Seaghost

Student
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
Messages
117
Tryin to breath and nothing happens Only my lungs are moving.
Pressure inside
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
1,267
Pain, dizziness, I'm also exhausted.

Plus some weird fever, it sucks.
 
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Scribble Fan

Scribble Fan

I'm out!
Joined
May 30, 2019
Messages
670
Disappointed. So fucking disappointed. The fact that I'm still alive is a joke and I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. Nothing ever helps anyways, just gets me running around in circles. I wish I were dead so badly.
 
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