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ornitier199

Arcanist
Mar 26, 2022
417
This heatstroke method could be the one. Summer time + closed room + windows shut + heaters on max all day none stop = ctb for me. I'm okay with the pain, no amount of physical pain can match the other pain I've endured and endure.
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,390
MY LEAST FAVORITE ARTIST IN THE WORLD HAS LEFT GAMEFREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WISHES CAN COME TRUEEEEE!

NO MORE LOONEY TOONS! BACK TO POKEMON!

I'll give everyone on this forum free drinks:
🍵🥛🍶🍹

I hope everyone has a really good evening/day! I'll go and celebrate this with cold water (because I don't have any other drinks).

I swear that guy has a beard/moustache, jaw-spike, reddish colors, football and sport, giantism fetishes. Almost every mega had a jaw spike and lots of other new mons too, and lots of new looney toons had facial hair. I swear it's because of him that they made "scarlet and violet", both reddish colors, it's because of him they made gmax pokemon have a red hue and made them giant. Then look at Rose and Leon and that future prof. All had the same kind of facial hair. They went from "no one has facial hair or only really old people have facial hair" to "a lot men even young have facial hair".

Hmm, they have a red avatar and the picture they posted is all in reddish violet. Yeah, they have a red fetish.

If you want to design looney toons that's okay, just don't make them pokemon. The same way I don't design Pokemon and then claim they are SMT gods.
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,390
My piece of shit parents have broken into my house several times in the last few days while I have been sleeping.

I HAVE TOLD THOSE NPC FUCKERS SEVERAL TIMES THAT I'LL CALL THE POLICE ON THEM AND THAT I WANT THEM TO FUCK OFF AND THAT THEY BETTER GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE AND THAT THEY SHOULD STOP BREAKING THE LAWS AND THAT I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE AND THAT I HATE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING BUT THEY CANNOT GET IT INTO THEIR FUCKING HEADS!!!!!!!!!!

Literally the only way to stop them from coming here is to call the fucking police army. Even worse is that when I threaten them with the police, they are all "Yeah, call the police! We'll make sure they jail you, not us!" as if I was breaking the law by sleeping in my own home while they break into my house. Then I get scared and unable to call the police. Who would the police rather believe? Two parents? Or one young adult? Yeah, the police are a bunch of parentfuckers, you can just say "I'm a parent" and the police will believe anything you say. No way the police will believe a 2X year old over two boomer parents. They also threaten me with mental prisons. "Disagreeing with your parents is a mental illness! We'll call the ambulance and get you jailed and they'll jab you full of lobotomy juices so that you'll never disobey your parents again!".

Guess what they also said? They complained that I don't have the right to visit them ever again while they are "supposedly" allowed to break into my house every day.

A: It's my childhood home, I have a right to go to home. All my items and clothes and beds are there
B: I'm not the parent here, you piece of shit. You don't want your children to come home? Then keep your damn legs shut, fucker.
C: I go there, because you don't let me shower or drink water or wash my clothes or use the toilet in my own house. You do everything in your power to make sure I cannot live without you. THAT'S ANOTHER REASON YOU ARE AN NPC! NARCISSIST ASSHOLES TAKE ALL YOUR FUCKING TOILETS AND WATER AWAY SO THAT YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THEIR HELP THEN COMPLAIN WHEN YOU NEED THEIR HELP! If you gave me a toilet and fresh water and shower I wouldn't need to visit your sorry asses!
D: The second I don't visit you every day, you start complaining and demanding that I visit you every day! If you don't want me to visit you, stop inviting me every day and then complaining if I don't visit you, you asshats.

I also hate how they refuse to call me before coming. Like right now, I just heard someone mowing the lawn, it turned out to be those fuckers. No phone calls, no texts. The same thing yesterday when they broke into the house, no calls or texts, they just come. And I always tell them "What if I was visiting my friends or on a walk or shopping etc.?" and they just respond with "Then you aren't allowed to leave the house, you must always be in here in case we come visit".

I never want to meet them again. I want to be free from the stress they give me.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
17,649
I finally feel free enough that I could CTB right now except that there’s still shit I’m not done with like my suicide notes, disposal of evidence, and other errands. I’m afraid to rush into it but it’s becoming increasingly clear that I’m going to have to do that in order for it to even happen.
 
hellispink

hellispink

i am sick of myself
May 26, 2022
108
I am so lost. I barely can see my face anymore. I wonder what day of the week is it. I overthink everything and i think food could help me feel better. But then I know I will feel guilty. I wish someone cared that knew me. It is so hard and lonely to have been scrolling trying to gather myself and make peace with this thing I have become.
 
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outatime_85

Student
May 17, 2022
182
My voices question why I keep going, why I continue to live through the suffering.

Those same voices tell me the following nearly every day:

I am an accident, something that should have been terminated.

My existence is pointless. No one needs or wants you around.

Anything I think I can do or succeed at is unreachable for me.

I am distracting myself from the problems that I face with pointless amusements that are just prolonging the inevitable.

The best thing I could have done was die a long time ago, or at least very soon.

My death, when it happens, will bring comfort to the world and those around you.
 
Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,390
I was about a post a thread about how I hate the police and laws because they are pieces of shit who do nothing about actual bad guys while either ignoring or harassing victims, but had to leave early. Came back, the door was locked (I'm sure I left it unlocked), the hallway door was tightly closed (I swear I left it open because I always leave it open). I thought "Shit! The police was here!" then I remembered that the police doesn't have a permission to enter a house without a permission. Googled it.

GUESS WHICH COUNTRY IS THE ONLY COUNTRY IN EUROPE ALONG WITH TURKEY WHERE THE POLICE CAN ENTER YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT ANY REASON?!

YES, FINLAND!!!!

In Finland the police can just enter your house, go through your stuff, steal your stuff, rape you, do anything they want and it's legal.

If I was a Finnish police I could just walk into my neighbor's house and watch the shower and the neighbor could do nothing.

I hope Russia invades this country, they send all the lawmakers and police in the war, and let actual human beings write the laws and make sure the law is respected, instead of "Finns".
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
17,649
Hate doctors. I hate the idea of keeping my body healthy so much. If Hitler went to the doctor, then any doctor who aided him should have been equally guilty of all his crimes. They’re so contradictory too. I was forced to check in on a video appointment today because I’ve been losing weight and surprise surprise my doctor blames losing weight on my diabetes yet again. I thought gaining weight was supposed to be bad but now losing it is also bad? And predictably I got prescribed another drug that’s supposed to lower my sugar but like fuck that. I’ve already been trying to eat less carbs and sugar but guess what I’m absolutely fucking broken because knowing I can’t eat something I already like just keeps making me want to eat or drink it more. I was fine not drinking as much soda until I was told explicitly that I can’t which just made me want it more.
 
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Xion

Xion

Please free me from hell.
Jul 5, 2020
385


Song starts at 0.25ish.

Whenever I feel like saying NO to things I listen to this.
 
apple2myeye!

apple2myeye!

it/its
Jun 3, 2022
18
rotten skin rotten earth rotten space rotten life. my skin and flesh and brain are all methods by which the infernal soul-flaying rusted whatever-the-fuck that's inside every single atom and cell of the universe ensnares me and taunts me with its endless psychomagnetic cattle prods. i am a circus elephant.
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
414
Having a rough night. Came home from class to see vomit all over my bedroom floor from my cat. My door had been shut for some reason by my mother, so he was in there all day alone, vomiting, with no one checking on him.

I figured he maybe ate too much, but he's thrown up twice more since I've been home and I'm just freaking out. Planning on taking him to the vet in the morning, but I'm just really upset.

My cat is pretty much the light of my life, I don't think I would've gotten through the last couple of years if I didn't have him. If something happened, that would push me over the edge.

I’ve had a string of horrible luck the last few months, and I would deal with whatever more life throws at me, except losing my cat. I can’t lose him. I just hope everything turns out okay.
 
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outatime_85

Student
May 17, 2022
182
Having a rough night. Came home from class to see vomit all over my bedroom floor from my cat. My door had been shut for some reason by my mother, so he was in there all day alone, vomiting, with no one checking on him.

I figured he maybe ate too much, but he's thrown up twice more since I've been home and I'm just freaking out. Planning on taking him to the vet in the morning, but I'm just really upset.

My cat is pretty much the light of my life, I don't think I would've gotten through the last couple of years if I didn't have him. If something happened, that would push me over the edge.

I’ve had a string of horrible luck the last few months, and I would deal with whatever more life throws at me, except losing my cat. I can’t lose him. I just hope everything turns out okay.
Sorry about your cat.

I hope it works out for the best.
 
Dead Horse

Dead Horse

Member
Nov 14, 2018
58
Being unable to live but also terrified of death. If you have at least the choice to end it, it's something. But I'm afraid I don't even have that.
 
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catowice

catowice

New Member
Jun 17, 2022
4
Doubtful.

I lack a sense of identity, but people seem to just think I'm good at a lot of things
 
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outatime_85

Student
May 17, 2022
182
A quote and a video clip from The Hurricane sum up what I am currently thinking.

I will bend time to my own clock. When the prisoners are awake, I will sleep. When they sleep, I will wake. I will live neither in their cell nor in my own heart, only in my mind and my spirit.

Once, I reached my hand out for help. It came down and then withered as dry grass, blown away into dust, leaving nothing.

Now I wait for nothing.

I need nothing, not tomorrow, not freedom, not justice. In the end, the prison will vanish... and there will be no more Ruben... no more Carter... only The Hurricane, and after him... there is no more.

The Hurricane - Shadows In The Dark
 
Z

Zegers

Student
Dec 15, 2021
167
I feel so jealous when I see people enjoying their lives, it is unavoidable to think why you can't... why?? god, devil, universe, or whatever, i want a fucking answer. Its like being doomed to a pitiful life of sorrow, loneliness and scarcity, being a captive in body and mind, too long in the dark.

This needless suffering should have a reward.
 
friendofbirds

friendofbirds

Member
Jun 6, 2022
50
i wish i was dead. i felt alright for a while but i just want to kill myself. i will probably feel this awful on fathers day which makes me feel guilty. i wish i could kill myself without consequence
 
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woe-boy

woe-boy

sentenced into dreamless drudgery
Mar 30, 2022
16
If I die, I only hope to reunited with my ex. I want to be his forever, and hold his hand through eternity. I want you back love...rest peacefully...

I don't want to watch mass tomorrow but I am gonna watch it and pray for you throughout the whole thing. you were a beautiful man with an amazing soul.

jcj+st <3
 
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alliebear

alliebear

The sun also sets
Jun 13, 2022
37
I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.
I can relate to you 100%
 
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symphony

symphony

surving hour-by-hour
Mar 12, 2022
670
Scared. But not scared of anything. Just a meta-fear, almost. Scared of being in and of itself. Scared that at any moment everything will collapse down around me and I'll fall into a crisis and lose all control. Scared that I won't win the fight to survive. I haven't slept in 34 hours. I'm exhausted but my body won't sleep. Or maybe I just won't give it a chance. I can't lie in bed for more than 15 minutes or so until I have to get up again for fear of lying in stillness.
 
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Dead Ghost

Dead Ghost

Mestre del Temps
May 6, 2022
252
I hate myself (a strong and rabid self-hatred, I feel like beating myself until I burst).
//
Odi a mi mateix (un fort i rabiós odi cap a mi, tinc ganes de fotre'm d'osties fins a reventar).
 
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