Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
414
I really felt like things were maybe improving. My cat seemed like he was doing okay the night I brought him home, he had some food and completely stopped throwing up, but he's still not eating, barely drinks, doesn't talk to me. The vet said if I wanted to do diagnostics, it would cost me over $1K.

Everyone keeps telling me to just wait it out and give him time to get better, meanwhile I'm just freaking out and constantly crying about this. It depressing to see the one joy in my life, turn into a quiet shell. I've barely eaten anything myself because I'm so worried.

I have no idea how I'll be able to go out tomorrow, be gone all day and function properly. This just isn't fair. Every day, every week, every month, there's a new bag of problems for me to struggle to get through.
 
O

outatime_85

Student
May 17, 2022
181
One of my thoughts for today:

I am trying to maintain cruising altitude by appearing perfectly happy and content on the outside with the "I am alright" response.

But on the inside, I'm dealing with a persistent sense of sadness.

That said, with each passing hour, day, year, and decade, I know my mental health is on a slow descent and I will most likely end up hearing that final voice start to say, "Too low, terrain PULL-UP," as what is left of my life and myself control flight into terrain.
 
Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,490
I feel absolutely appalled by the state of my country. It is straight up vomit inducing to think that it came to this.

Just when I was starting to accept and embrace the culture of my country, there was change and actual progress, even some justice along the path. Oh, well. Never will I ever feel any sense of empathy towards the rats who did this.

I have many colorful words that I want to use to describe what happened, but that level of fedposting would get me banned even from the worst boards on 4chan. It's better to keep some of those words to myself.
 
Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

Enlightened
Feb 22, 2020
1,017
Empty. That's what I'm feeling right now. I'm just existing for the sake of existing until I find the courage to leave the world.

@Lullaby I hope your cat gets better. It pisses me off that getting exams and diagnostics done at the vet's are so expensive. Why can't there be medical insurance for cats and dogs like there is for people? It makes no sense to me.
 
Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
414
Empty. That's what I'm feeling right now. I'm just existing for the sake of existing until I find the courage to leave the world.

@Lullaby I hope your cat gets better. It pisses me off that getting exams and diagnostics done at the vet's are so expensive. Why can't there be medical insurance for cats and dogs like there is for people? It makes no sense to me.
He’s doing so much better today, I guess I needed to be patient. I’m so relieved, for his health’s sake but also not having to shell out much more money. It really sucks that it costs so much.

I also hope you feel a bit better as well :heart: I know that emptiness feeling too much.
 
O

outatime_85

Student
May 17, 2022
181
Every day, I make little to no progress in my daily life; I am alone and isolated in a cold and unforgiving world.

Nothing feels good anymore.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Pathetic
Jul 1, 2020
4,638
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but what if no one is holding you 😢. You were teaching me to love myself..... Why did you have to go...?
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Pathetic
Jul 1, 2020
4,638
Fuck humans! I'm getting sick and fucking tired of having sleepless nights helping other people with their bullshit just so I can be left alone when I'm down. Fuck me apparently. I'm so fucking sick of people being all "I care about you" then where the fuck are you now that I have weed, booze, a blade and my rope in front of me and tears on my cheeks....
I don't want to hear a single person ever say they give a fuck about me again. You're all fucking liars.

Happy birthday to me (29th) no one gives a flying fuck about you
 
Seaghost

Seaghost

Experienced
Apr 14, 2019
214
Catched a cold again - well not exactly that but I'm to lazy to search for correct translation. In the end it means no sport for around two weeks - again. Yehaa that'll help to loose weight.

I'm baking bread again. It makes fun and tastes so good when you only know that garbage ftom the grocery store.
Will test my first bread by self created sour dough this weekend.
It costs me much power but I have fun with it. It fills my heart a lil bit. Oh and the taste and flavor...hmmm now I have to think of marlboro...come to where the flavor is, haha.

Pushing this lil hobby aside I'm searching for myself. Searching for the child in me. Searching for things to stay. Searching for an answer why I'm here.
Searching for everything.
But when I had to die now that would be ok. A gently dream. Come fly away :).
 
exhausted888

exhausted888

waiting in the dark
Jun 21, 2022
19
Full of junk food that I don't usually eat in order to fill the emptiness inside me; finally I might sleep a little; disdain for humanity; selfishness; self-pity; deep sadness; boredom; joylessness; impatience for the end to come; horror at how blind I've been at how horrible I am and how horrible humans are to each other