Rounded Apathy

Rounded Apathy

Longing to return to stardust
Aug 8, 2022
205
I’m so fucking tired of this bullshit casino that is living. You can do the right things and of course you can’t win if you don’t play, but you also can’t lose and let’s be real, that’s what’s gonna happen most of the time. Odds are always stacked in the house’s favour, always. Even if you’re the best the house will eventually shut you down cause that’s how the whole damn system is rigged from the start.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,254
i hate myself too. i wish there was an easier way to get rid of the self-loathing.
its kinda funny, for me the same person that helps it is the same person that kinda causes it.
he shows me to love myself so it kinda helps, but because of the "bad things" (my addiction and destructive behaviours) i dont feel good enough and hate myself. yay me? lol
 
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WhatPowerIs

WhatPowerIs

Arcanist
Jun 19, 2022
403
its kinda funny, for me the same person that helps it is the same person that kinda causes it.
he shows me to love myself so it kinda helps, but because of the "bad things" (my addiction and destructive behaviours) i dont feel good enough and hate myself. yay me? lol
I'm sorry. It's a tricky situation.
 
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per_aspera_ad_astra

per_aspera_ad_astra

Member
Oct 29, 2019
22
kind of strange, empty and lonely but also an impending sense of doom. i dont know if i would actively try to kill myself but im definitely not in the mood to resist death atm
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,254
"i dog sat last night"
well thats fucking good for you. look nothing against you dude but i RAISED you. and the same people that left me to raise you from when i was 11-16, some fucking how felt i wasnt good enough to babysit at 14. so i really dont want to hear about you and your damn dog.
im getting fucking sick of the constant "look what i did" that i didnt get to do by the SAME FUCKING PEOPLE!!!!!! if they were different people then whatever, human personal choice. but the same fucking people? no, thats clearly a fucking dig against me and im fucking sick of it
 
ManicPanic2018

ManicPanic2018

Bipolar Trans Woman, Help Me God
Sep 11, 2022
83
Should be sadder than I am. In denial that a relationship that started recently just exploded in my face. Started drinking at 10am every day this weekend. Feeling a lot better after I found out about SN today. Somewhat relieved.
 
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Nessie

Nessie

Cynical
Aug 23, 2020
1,666
I feel irrationally rattled by a Twitter take that all adults that play lots of videogames must be depressed and let life pass them by. The whole "think of top 100 moments of your life and none of them probably happened in videogames". Felt compelled to ask people on here what they think about it and whether top 100 moments of their lives include videogames or not, then remembered this is a goddamn suicide forum where almost everyone is depressed and most people would have a really hard time coming up with any top 100 moments, of their lives. :ahhha: Sometimes I forget how sad my life is and how little perspective I have on what it actually means to live a normal life.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,254
i still want to die :aw: i know he doesnt fix it, but i feel so useless to him like this
 
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Mixo

Mixo

Warlock
Aug 2, 2020
759
I thought I had absolutely nothing to offer a woman, but found out today that I am apparently wrong.

Also, thank you to the amazon delivery guy who threw my packaged mirror over the gate, promptly smashing it into 25 pieces, then walking away and marking "delivered" without a second thought. Nice work there, buddy. Really doing overlord Bezos' work.
 
Last edited:
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R

reverse03

SN arrived. Leaving on October 16.
Sep 11, 2022
29
Lonely. Numb. Just want to die already.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

typically not in the mental frame to converse..
Jul 1, 2020
5,254
hes stupid and shouldnt have come back. im worthless and hes better off...
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
510
Feeling really unlovable. It’s nothing new, but it’s been stronger lately. It seems like whenever anyone says I love you, it’s either untrue or a mistake. I can’t even remember the last time my mom said those words to me. It just hurts.

I really don’t belong here.
 
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Mixo

Mixo

Warlock
Aug 2, 2020
759
There were only two choices - give into the gaslighting doctors, lean into and internalize their ignorant assumptions, decline, and CTB. Or abandon the traditional medical establishment altogether, give them a high flying middle finger, and investigate other options, do research, and implement other treatments. Many would find the methods I used these last couple years to be legitimately crazy, questionable, or risky, which is fine. None of that matters now. The only thing I wanted was positive change, and I couldn't be more grateful in this moment.
 
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ryo the frog

ryo the frog

I'm in your house
Jun 27, 2022
21
I’m sleepy
I want to go to sleep and not wake up
wish I were in a fictional world
 
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Achromatix

Achromatix

Probably Alone Again
Sep 11, 2022
3
I feel so alone. I feel like i could disappear and no one would notice. I want to scream, hurt myself, hide, and die, but I'm scared to screw any of that up. I've already been hospitalized once, and everyone around me agreed it was attention driven. I just dont want to be here. As a weak person, i want to hide from everyone all the time. I hate this I can't survive on my own. It needs to end ;-;
 
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DunnoWhyButYeah

DunnoWhyButYeah

~*-*~
Apr 3, 2020
353
Panic... This feeling is horrible and I still need to pretend like everything is OK. I can't sleep, I can't do anything. I don't want to be touched, my heart is exploding. Idk what to do, how get out now. I wish I could leave already!
 
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TiredLostHope20

TiredLostHope20

SN Arrived!
Aug 24, 2022
122
I feel empty, i realise now i have always felt this way. I ordered some SN and suddenly felt a rush of what i had forgotten, Happiness. Happiness to die.
 
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