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Tragoedia Vitae

Tragoedia Vitae

Experienced
Oct 14, 2018
224
-The loss of my relationship with my mother. Whether insanity or dementia, she has succumbed to it. She is all but dead to the world now. We used to be inseparable, and our fates were linked in many ways. Now we have drifted apart----but I am slowly letting go of my hold on this world. Perhaps when my mind too has been consumed, we will be finally at peace with each other because I will be able to understand her (and everything she has been through) in my heart. Who knows? Perhaps I will follow her into death. Or perhaps I will win the race to the grave.

-I have no intrinsic value to anyone else in this world. If I wish to have any value to anyone, I must fulfill all sorts of expectations, responsibilities, duties, and rules---all things which often force me to suppress my natural inclinations.

-How much of my life I have wasted.

-Advancing my life any further entails a constant, daily struggle for survival. There is always the threatening possibility that I might be dragged under the waves at any minute. I always feel myself at the edge of some awful precipice. And I don't think my mind can take it.

-I don't think I can make any meaningful contributions to this world. In that case, might as well die, right?

-The fact that I have to make preparations for my death with virtually no practical support from anyone I know in real life. Because I can't tell them! And this will never change as long as society continues to vehemently reject the concept of sanctioned suicide.

-The prospect of having to face my fear of eternity.

Etc, etc, etc.
 
fuckthis

fuckthis

I've made up my mind.
Sep 23, 2018
264
The friend who left me and the potential I had. I have never been so torn over a friendship, I shouldn't even pay any attention to them but I can't stop. It's like some sort of addiction to them. I could be in college right now studying what I want to do and taking that extra step into an industry I'd want to work in but instead I'm doing fuck all and now it's too late.

There's just so many things fucking me over and most of them are inside my head.
 
Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
The sudden death of my dog. The ache in my stomach over this is so unbearable many time, it feels like a sense of panic. The only living thing I feel I truly loved and felt loved by is gone. That was two years ago and as the time goes by, it feels worse.

Some days it feels as if my desire to cbt is driven entirely by this grief and sense of loss.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,353
The sudden death of my dog. The ache in my stomach over this is so unbearable many time, it feels like a sense of panic. The only living thing I feel I truly loved and felt loved by is gone. That was two years ago and as the time goes by, it feels worse.

Some days it feels as if my desire to cbt is driven entirely by this grief and sense of loss.
What if u got another dog? I’ve had trouble moving on after pets too. I have this terror I might have to give them up for some reason like homelessness or incarceration.
 
Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
What if u got another dog? I’ve had trouble moving on after pets too. I have this terror I might have to give them up for some reason like homelessness or incarceration.
Ahhh I'd love to. He was my first dog and I know another one would probably help me heal from him being gone. I share similar fears that keep me from adopting - like if I got another one and had to give them up because my housing situation changed.
 
longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
For me its:
My child
My career as a teacher
My marriage
My family
that list is almost mine exactly. My terrible behavior broke up our little family, caused me to lose my university teaching position, to find another position in my field I had to come to S.E. Asia so I'm now 10,000 miles from my daughter. I'm so sorry you're suffering these losses. I really do get your pain.