I

itsallover

Arcanist
Jun 29, 2018
465
I completely dread waking up in the morning and basically tell myself "Oh God, not another day in this hellhole!" after I go to sleep the night before knowing that I feel finally get some hours of relief from dealing with my problems. Does anyone else feel the same way?
 
Severen

Severen

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,819
I hate waking up so much. Every time I wake up, I'm like...Fuck, I'm in hell again... And often when I'm sleeping, I have horrible nightmares. So I can't even enjoy sleeping 100%. Fuck life. I wish I could just have one sweet dream, forever.
 
Jon86

Jon86

Specialist
Apr 9, 2018
371
I'm pretty blank to be honest. I suppose I have a part of my brain telling me to get shit done but the other side reminds me that it doesn't matter. I normally just go back to bed when I wake up and after doing that a few times I drag myself out of bed to the couch and turn on my computer to waste another day.

When I was working i'd think about how much I hate working and how it's all for nothing. I could do everything right for a decade and i'd still be in this pit of despair.
 
athousandsorrows

athousandsorrows

Member
Jul 5, 2018
70
I totally feel the same way. I long for night so I can go to bed. I used to be a very active dreamer, but after I took meds my dreams seem more distant and confusing to me, even though I've been off the meds for about half a year now. I liked dreaming, nay, I loved it. Even if they weren't the best dreams, they were certainly better than reality in every way. I still go to bed longing for dreams, but I'm having a harder time remembering them now. I get this feeling that I did dream, but for the life of me cannot remember what it was. It's sad.

I wake up in the morning and it takes me a couple of seconds to realize where I am, and when I realize I'm still here I often feel the tears coming up and I cry or sob for a while. Then, my overwhelming urge to go pee takes over and I go pee like a zombie, oftentimes crying as I walk over to the bathroom. After a while I muster up the courage to go down to the kitchen and make myself a coffee, and then I come sit in front of the computer all day long until the night comes.
 
Imaginos

Imaginos

Full-time layabout
Apr 7, 2018
633
Nothing good, I can tell you that much. The circling vultures of emptiness, fatigue, despair (etc.) descend on me pretty much immediately. Out of everything else though is the one unshakable thought of how I wish I could just go back to sleep and, if the stars ever happen to align the right way, die there in the process.

0867_0cf3_926.png
 
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EternalSanction

EternalSanction

-
Jun 7, 2018
252
"damn, what did I drink last night?" mostly.
Nothing else really, I'm busy over the day so I don't have much time to think
 
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Nauseated

Nauseated

Insomnio
Jun 26, 2018
224
you remember when you use to have those dreams that you woke up from and thank god it was just a dream and feel that awesome sense of relief because none of it really happened. Its like the opposite of that now I wake up and realize that my reality is worse than any nightmare I could have. Usually my first thoughts are oh my god this isnt a dream this is my life then the anxiety hits then the depression.
 
Fylobatica

Fylobatica

Inactive
Apr 1, 2018
365
I like reading and watching video documentaries about disasters and stuff, so my first thought in the morning is almost always about digging up old and new information on this subject; I don't curse anymore because it's useless
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
I completely dread waking up in the morning and basically tell myself "Oh God, not another day in this hellhole!" after I go to sleep the night before knowing that I feel finally get some hours of relief from dealing with my problems. Does anyone else feel the same way?
Oh
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
Oh yes, every morning I cannot get moving and wish it was over. I have felt this way at least since I’ve hit late 30’s. I have no kids and I don’t contact family, no partner. I just have trouble motivating myself because it’s like for what? I have no real responsibility I guess.
 
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D

Decker

Member
Jun 12, 2018
95
you remember when you use to have those dreams that you woke up from and thank god it was just a dream and feel that awesome sense of relief because none of it really happened. Its like the opposite of that now I wake up and realize that my reality is worse than any nightmare I could have. Usually my first thoughts are oh my god this isnt a dream this is my life then the anxiety hits then the depression.

Omg yes! My dreams are now better then my reality. It’s so sad! I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping. But when I do it’s the only time I have peace.
 
Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
235
"I am still not in a beautiful colorful and fluffy anime world. Time to spend another twelve hours or so binge watching stuff."

You know, despite believing on an intellectual level that I will simply be relieved of this Homo sapiens experience when I die, part of what drives me toward my own death is that: within the privacy of my own mind, I'm subconsciously both daydreaming & lucid dreaming of escaping to a fluffy anime-like world (I'll likely be dreaming of some distant utopia when I actualize my "escape" from this lower plane). After all, some of my best states of consciousness in this human existence have been during lucid dreams, when I was at least partially asleep...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centered_world

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine#Counterarguments

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_experience

possible worlds are so unspeakably superior to the actual, --that is to say: there is nothing special about this world; this world is merely the one in which we haphazardly find ourselves ingrained in, since we are each here via happenstance.
 
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M

millefeui

-
Mar 31, 2018
1,036
You know, despite believing on an intellectual level that I will simply be relieved of this Homo sapiens experience when I die, part of what drives me toward my own death is that: within the privacy of my own mind, I'm subconsciously both daydreaming & lucid dreaming of escaping to a fluffy anime-like world (I'll likely be dreaming of some distant utopia when I actualize my "escape" from this lower plane). After all, some of my best states of consciousness in this human existence have been during lucid dreams, when I was at least partially asleep...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centered_world

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Experience_machine#Counterarguments

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_experience

possible worlds are so unspeakably superior to the actual, --that is to say: there is nothing special about this world. It is merely the one in which we haphazardly find ourselves, since we are each here via happenstance.
I do believe that nonexistence is likely what awaits us all, but there is a part of me that can't help herself but believe that... nothing is impossible. Literally nothing. This part of me is likely born from several strange experiences I had in life, both in the physical and dream worlds. Who knows? We all can only theorize about what is possible or impossible. Answers lie beyond us.

Even if, like you put, "escaping to a fluffy anime world" is impossible, which I will be the first to admit to be, believing that it could happen does help me a bit and also makes my heart flutter. It is literally the only kind of thought to provoke any physical reactions on ,e It is a nice thought. A little bit of hope in such a hopeless existence doesn't hurt.

It has been a desire of mine since I was a kid and I am not giving up on it, no matter how crazy and stupid it might sound to others. Worst case scenario? It is impossible, end of story. But maybe it isn't. And maybe I will just stop existing once I die. That doesn't sound too bad for me. Better to not exist to exist in a world I hate.
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,354
I totally feel the same way. I long for night so I can go to bed. I used to be a very active dreamer, but after I took meds my dreams seem more distant and confusing to me, even though I've been off the meds for about half a year now. I liked dreaming, nay, I loved it. Even if they weren't the best dreams, they were certainly better than reality in every way. I still go to bed longing for dreams, but I'm having a harder time remembering them now. I get this feeling that I did dream, but for the life of me cannot remember what it was. It's sad.

I wake up in the morning and it takes me a couple of seconds to realize where I am, and when I realize I'm still here I often feel the tears coming up and I cry or sob for a while. Then, my overwhelming urge to go pee takes over and I go pee like a zombie, oftentimes crying as I walk over to the bathroom. After a while I muster up the courage to go down to the kitchen and make myself a coffee, and then I come sit in front of the computer all day long until the night comes.
 

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